The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsExcuses, Excuses
As a live-in nanny, short of actually being sick, I really have no excuses I can use to get out of work.
Kinda hard to tell my boss, MR.BIG (also my techie for those unaware), that a raging bull is setting to charge outside my suite door and I can't get out to work.
But, for those who can use various reasons to ditch work, here is a list of the weirdest stories I've heard in a while:
1) Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.I think for some of those, the people were asking to get fired.
2) A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3) Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4) Employee called from his cell phone, said he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and no one was around to let him out.
5) Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6) Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7) One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8) Employee's mother was in jail.
9) A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10) Employee had bad hiccups.
11) Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12) Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13) Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14) Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15) Employee was sad.
I guess I could actually use #5 with all the snow we have here right now.
Lol.
So, have you ever given a bizarre reason for skipping out?
Let us hear it.
Comments
The buffalo is the funniest one. I once worked at a place where there were lots of absences, and those of us who didn't call in all the time made up excuses for others' absence to amuse ourselves. One of the most popular was "He was mauled by a badger." My own "He was ravaged by a wombat" never really caught on.
Posted by: AlanDP | November 30, 2006 03:17 AM
Hear here
Posted by: Aprosexic | November 30, 2006 04:56 AM
Fixed, Aprosexic, lol, thanks.
Posted by: Sam | November 30, 2006 06:33 AM
My favorite one that I like to use is,
Posted by: MacBros | November 30, 2006 07:22 AM
2) A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
5) Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
7) One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8) Employee's mother was in jail.
9) A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
12) Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
Ah! The wonderousness of rural America! YEEE-HAW!!!!
Posted by: Jason![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
|
November 30, 2006 08:09 AM
One I heard from one of my co-workers (actually used... .we all had a chuckle) -
"My freezer broke and all my ice cream melted all over the floor and I had to clean it up."
No, he didn't get fired. I have no idea why.
Posted by: Shane | November 30, 2006 10:22 AM
I once worked in a mall, in Orlando Florida. The girl that worked with me called in one day, to say she couldn't come in, as she had decided to try lesbian sex, and had gotten some piercings caught. She arrived the next day with an excuse from the doctor... pretty much confirming that her excuse was true.
From that time on, I remained a safe distance from her, mainly because I wanted to avoid hearing the details.
Posted by: Lilo | November 30, 2006 01:27 PM
Lol, those are some good excuses - thanks for sharing them.
Lilo - did you notice that even your discussion of another person's excuse involves sex - now who's the sex-crazed one? lol.
Posted by: Sam | November 30, 2006 04:51 PM
Just because I am surrounded by sex addicts doesn't make me one. And plus, YOU asked if we'd ever heard any odd ones.... so really it's YOUR fault.
Posted by: Lilo | December 1, 2006 05:50 AM
Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lilo.
Lol.
Posted by: Sam | December 1, 2006 07:03 AM
An Air Canada employee, circa 1990:
My crocodile bit my thumb off.
Scary part? It was true. He worked for my dad, and I saw both the croc and the stub of thumb that remained.
RG
Posted by: RightGirl | December 1, 2006 10:00 AM
My unused favorite is, "The voices in my head told me it was a good day to stay home and clean my guns."
Among the ones that I have used I this the best, "A hundred people with guns from all over the world are showing up expecting me to give them explosives to shoot at and I don't want to disappoint them."
See my entire list here.
Posted by: Joe Huffman | December 5, 2006 08:07 AM