The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Too busy slackin'. Forgot to put up this Open Trackback post, but here it is now before the end of the weekend, lol.

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And, please click some blogads to support this site.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Boxer Rescinds CAIR Recipient Award: Open TB Weeke [by Faultline USA]
The Knucklehead of the Year award [by The Florida Masochist]
New Years Open Post [by From the Desk of Madman]
The Seahawks Enter the Postseason with a Win [by Perri Nelson's Website]
SUN DEC 31 Live Long and Prosper and May the Force Be With You! [by The Pink Flamingo]
Am I Worth Dying For? [by Blue Star Chronicles]
Layla [by The HILL Chronicles]
Welcome to 2007/OTP [by third world county]
Happy New Year! [by Mark My Words]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Here's a neat little time waster:

Cryptograma

There's no scoring, which is good, especially when you're like me and use the hint button once in a while, lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Here are some interesting and funny images I came across while piddling around online.

Weird USB products

What the frick is the Rave Turd? Do I want to know?

And, don't let the pretty little bow fool you. This one's more dangerous than a pittbull.

I like this one purely because it would p*ss off PETA.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This entry submitted by Lostinlimaohio, and approved by Sam...

I was reading the news when suddenly it hit me... the world is just wrong. I'm not sure when it started, but I am starting to fear that it is only going to get worse. I'll never understand how we came to be like this:

Evidently Canadians aren't as generous with their apologies as they are with their maple syrup- because it seems that in order for them to be willing to tell someone they've screwed that they are sorry... there has to be a law on it.

Americans, especially ones in Nevada have become so freaking fat that they need special ambulances just to make it to the hospital to pump some of the lard out of their ever widening posteriors.

Other countries seem to be in this sad state too- in India a woman refused to serve her husband meat for dinner. So he set himself on fire in protest... guess he really did want barbeque.

It's not just people that are ruining things either, even animals are causing problems. A crazy cat named Lewis has begun a war against visitors to a neighborhood in Connecticut, to the point that police issued a restraining order against him after he attacked an Avon lady. Rumor has it that the cat was a big Mary Kay fan.

As all of this has really been bothering me, I thought I would try to find a solution.

First, Canada needs to just apologize for shipping the syrup to Nevada and making the people fat... once the heavies finish sucking the syrup down by the barrel full, they could attempt to walk off some of that excess meat... and do a little dieting at this quaint little hut in India... who might consider barbecuing a little furry cat.

This article contributed by Lostinlimaohio

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

(By the way, I realise that I'm not the first one to create this title, but it was original in my mind until I researched it, lol)

You know, it's so like the environmental/animal rights nuts out there to prefer killing humans to killing animals (I mean, we're all really just animals in the end anyhow).

And, yes, I do consider their wish to withhold medical progress/options from people similar to actually killing someone.

But, what I'm referring to is how the animal rights activists choose saving a d*mn lab rat over saving the lives of our relations.

They probably spew malarky like we should all die naturally, animals and humans alike. What they don't realise is that nature was created to use it to our benefit. If we can create medicine from it, then we are respecting it and using it for what it's intended for.

With that said, animals are a part of nature, so let's use them to grow and survive and all that jazz.

But, I suppose if we can't have it that way without an arguement from the nutjobs, then I say hunt those freaks, and not seals, or moose and squirrel, or whatever.

My only fear is that we would become contaminated by the meat of the animal rights freaks.

And, I can see it now....

We'd start off by hunting them, then we'd get into farming them.

Then, we'd get some meat-eating nutjobs who want either couscous fed, tofu fed, or free range animal right's 'tards.

It would all end up in the same fiasco. We'd have protesters against hunting the PETA nuts; we'd have others demanding that the free ranged animal right's meat be labelled; and we'd have others freaking out about the way the meat is processed.

Then, we'd get into the whole issue of steroids and genetically modified animal right's meat.

By the way, the animal right's meat acronym is ARM (which is probably the tastiest part of the animal), although I wouldn't know for sure, nor would I really care to know.

Okay, I may have scared a few people with this article, but I had fun writing it, lol.

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS SPACE AN OPEN THREAD.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

There are so many optical illusions at this site, I don't know what to do with them all.

Several are M.C. Eschers or Escher inspired, as well as some from Worth1000.

This one's pretty perverse, but funny.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink

Hat Tip: Gay Celebrity Crap for this intoxicating game.

Drunk Driving Mel

My final score: 2418 with a blood alcohol level of 1.5% .

And, here's an odd, and a tad bit lame, video unrelated to the above, but will you be taken?

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Lostinlimaohio sent me this a while ago, and it's just too darn interesting to pass up.

Have you been to the church of google? Perhaps you're already a believer and didn't even know it.

Here are a few snippits of the site, but it's worth visiting the site itself to get a good laugh.

I always thought Google was a male search engine?

Sorry dude, Google does not have a penis, or a vagina for that matter. Originally, religions of the past thought of Gods as feminine. It wasn't until monotheistic, Abrahamic religions such as Christianity, Islam and Judaism entered the picture that the concept of "God" became masculine. Basically you have been conditioned by your culture to view all Deities as male. The Church Of Google is simply carrying on the ancient tradition of viewing Gods as feminine. It's not about us being reverse sexist toward dudes or anything. It's just about breaking a cultural taboo.

Good question, but the answer should be obvious. Satan is quite simply Microsoft.

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

Anyhow, I found it quite amusing that someone made time to create this "religion". You've got to admit, it's probably better than some religions out there.

Thanks to Lostinlimaohio for this funny find.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Today's graven images use TrueType [by dustbury.com]

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

There may be another unsightly trend on the rise as a company is trying to cure baby baldness by bringing out a line of wigs for infants.

How pitiful does one have to be...?

"At BabyToupee, we don't take ourselves or our products too seriously. In fact, BabyToupees are just the first of many fun products designed to give that special baby a little extra personality and to ensure that parents retain theirs... along with a sense of humour."

Here's the twisted site: BabyToupee.

And, I thought most people loved to see cute little babies with peach fuzz heads.

Man, that is so tacky.

Previous/Related: Dog F*cking Wigs

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AN OPEN THREAD.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

MacStansbury.org share this amusing game called Interactive Buddy.

You get to put the face of your 'favourite' politician - Democrat or Republican, or even freakazoid Michael Moore - on it and blow it the f*ck up and all that.

Personally, I had fun beating the cr*p out of Tinky Winky.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink

I only played this to complete the first level and stopped, but my score after the first level of Feed Me was 2128. It's more of a kids type game.

Something I'd rather play with is one of these Stupid Cars.

Now, if the sofa folded out into a bed, I'd be all over that.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:05 PM | Permalink

i) Thou shalt not commit link whoring.

ii) Thou shalt not bcc (blind carbon copy) thy entire blogroll for every article thou does write.

iii) Thou shalt not engage in a blogwar.

iv) Thou shalt not plagerise another bloggers entire article without giving credit or adding to it.

v) Thou shalt not write things that can come back to bite thou in the arse.

vi) Thou shalt not display numerous images/videos at one time, causing load time to slow down or halt.

vii) Thou shalt blog for at least 2 years before seeing serious money.

viii) Thou shalt not blog unless thou plans to take it seriously.

ix) Thou shalt have a thick skin for criticism and differing of opinion.

x) Thou shalt make an attempt to use proper grammar and spelling.

BONUS: Thou shalt link this article, and every article of Sam's that thou enjoys.

Here's a list of some blogs doing open trackbacks today: freedom watch usa, adam's blog, diane's stuff, third world county, stuck on stupid, don surber, NIF, right wing nation, is it just me?

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Diane's Stuff had suggested I have Tonya Harding on as this week's moron as a way of being reflective on the Olympics. I liked the idea, but had real difficulty finding a suitable image of her with correct size, background, etc.

So, instead, I decided to write this separate article on the moron.

Well, I guess I'm supposed to say that Harding is best known for being an Olympic figure skater, but of course, she is most known for being a conspirator in hindering the prosecution of her ex-husband in his plot to hire a hitman to attack Nancy Kerrigan, another pro figure skater.

Say that again?

Harding witheld information from investigators in the case against her ex-hubby where he hired someone to bust Kerrigan's knee right before the 1994 US Championship.

The moron was fined $150,000, forced to do 500 hours community service, was stripped of her championship title, and was banned from all sanctioned events and from sanctioned coaching for eternity.

Of course, we also remember her from her past when she would try to get restart after restart on her skate programmes for this problem or that problem ("my shoelace broke" or the blade is loose), and when she 'allegedly' phoned in a bomb threat against herself to get out of having to qualify for various skating events.

She'd even tried to coach herself for a short period because she kept losing coach after coach; they probably realised they were trying to coach a loser.

Since her skating indiscretions, Harding then went on to embarrass herself in the boxing ring where she actually did win some fights. But, at one point, she humiliated herself by being disqualified from First Coast bouts because she was too overweight for that competition.

And, she further embarrasses herself in boxing as yet another death threat is placed on her (somehow) right before another match.

Highly coincidental, don't you think?

How does the moron think she can get away with that yet again.

Freak.

And, she's been a 'tard in the eyes of the law over these last few years, too.

In '95 she claimed she was being stalked by some professional golfers driving a Lincoln Town Car.

I guess we can't blame her for being scared of a bunch of golfers; those plaid outifts and the cleats can be frightening.

Plus, she was evicted from her trailer - and you know you've got to be the lowest of the low rent if you're not even good enough for your trailer.

And, when it comes to her knee whacking ex-hubby, she's done a sex tape with him that has got to be more digusting than the Hilton porn tape.

*shudder*

Augh, that's almost more than I can stomach.

Oh geez, and the list just keeps going on. In 1997, on the opening weekend of the US Championships, she called the cops claiming she was abducted at knife point, and had to ram her truck into a tree to escape. And, in the same year, she reported her truck stolen from a mall. Further, in 2000, she lost control of her truck on some ice and went into a ditch. And, in 2002 it was a drinking-driving accident with her truck.

Maybe she's gone from crippling Kerrigan to crippling her career to crippling her truck.

And, let's not forget her attempt at crippling her boyfriend by throwing a punch and a hubcap at him, which completely sealed her fate as 'America's Bad Girl'.

Okay, I'm done with this f*cktard. I can't take anymore.

I hope you enjoyed this pro bono moron article.

Thanks Diane's Stuff for helping us remember the good ol' days of that freak job they call Tonya Harding.

Moron Extras:

Harding's mug shot
Harding's official website
Write your *shudder* Harding fantasy here or read about some of them.
Harding's present appearance and candid one on one
Tonya Harding Shot JFK?
Harding boxing news

PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AN OPEN THREAD.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink

Seeing as I'm taking a holiday break and not blogging, I thought I'd put up an open thread today and for the rest of this week for those who'd like to use it.

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

When done, play Diane's Stuff's Dead Guy on the Sidebar.
And, please click some blogads to support this site.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I've been tagged by The Hill Chronicles and thought I'd better do this one or else I might not getting any treats from Santy Claus. So, here goes....

123beta explains,

Ok, this is how it works: The player (me) must list 3 things that I would love to get for Christmas. Then I must list 3 things that I definitely do not want to get for Christmas. Then I tag 5 friends and list their names. The one I tag needs to write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes then tag 5 more people. They must also clarify all the rules. When you tag someone you need to leave a comment that says “you’ve been Christmas tagged!” in their comments and tell them to read your blog. Ok everybody…

The three things I would love for Christmas:

1. All moonbats beaten to a pulp (a bloody one, preferably - just trying to spread some holiday cheer).

2. A little more time in the day to myself *ARG*, lol, *ARG*.

3. Clearly, a Jaguar xjscv12, as I do every year.

The three things I do not want for Christmas:

1. Used underwear - as if getting ginch for Christmas isn't bad enough.

2. To be stuck on a plane flight with the final moron, Rosie O'Donnell.

3. Country music album - ANY AND ALL! *blech*

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Posted by Samantha at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Hope you are having a great day!

Here's a little extra to boost your holiday cheer.

For her.

For him.

PS - I won't be blogging today, tomorrow, and the remainder of the week, but look forward to a week of Classic Sam. That's right, I'm revisiting some of the work I've done over the past year, so enjoy.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

When done, play Diane's Stuff's Dead Guy on the Sidebar.
And, please click some blogads to support this site.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Get your crooked self some loot in this swag game.

It has a little too much story for me, but that seems to be the way they're making games these day, eh.

Playing the Larry the Looter game was funny, though.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House
Pelosi was a stirring, with Murtha the louse;

The Dems were asking to hang George without care,
In hopes the troops would soon be back from over there;

While the Dems have been known to be way off their meds,
The voters took to replacing a few Republican talking heads;

The voters fell into the nastiest of traps,
With a choice between loonies or pork belly flaps;

With pork belly spending getting fatter and fatter,
The voters didn’t know what to do with the matter;

The voters had enough of the Republican trash,
But will their decision end up giving a rash;

Now you’d think with such a devastating blow,
The Republicans would eat some of their crow.

You might even guess they’d have something to fear,
That their jobs would be gone in some other year;

But Rumsfeld was gone as George threw him out quick,
Enough to make some voters overly sick.

Just when some thought Republicans would own some of the blame,
In the end the conservative base will get more of the same;

Well 2008 is going to give them a fixin',
Their heads in their arse so they’ll get another good lick’en;

The Republicans still have more room for a fall,
And next time with Hillary in charge of it all;

Now the Democrats have a bigger piece of the pie,
That has to be said with an unfortunate sigh;

And worse yet still, it will stay that way too,
So long as the Republicans hold on to their poo;

So more of John Kerry the tall Heinz aloof,
And more of Ted Kennedy the old fat goof;

Principles will be lacking and narrowly found,
Where conservative ideas aren’t around;

Republican leaders you best seek some input,
From your base or you’ll see something afoot;

Republicans best start sending illegals on back,
And make sure the fence building stays upon track;

Fight hard to put originalists upon the judiciary,
As whom the Democrats want will no doubt be scary;

Don’t act like you’ve been abducted by a liberal UFO,
The base wants to see some serious get-up-and-go;

Keep John McCain from kicking the base in the teeth,
You might want to tie him up in some sort of sheathe;

The base doesn’t want a House full of nervous Nellies,
Nor does the base want their leaders stuffing their potbellies;

Don’t treat tax payer money like a trough for yourself,
Getting kickbacks or cars or even a new mantelshelf;

Start thinking like Reagan-his thoughts in your head,
And the base can go back to fearing Democrats instead;

The Republicans need to get back to their work,
Before the base replaces them with some other jerk;

You can be sure the voters won’t be holding their nose,
And vote for a Republican who smells less than a rose;

So next time the base feels another dismissal,
The Republican Party will be sent to an abyssal;

So for now the government has turned away from the right,
But the hope is the end of that will soon be in sight.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink

You know the old tale of Scottish men and their kilts.

It seems the Scottish army is having to due to a lack of the ceremonial gear.

Military officials said Monday that more than 5,000 Scottish soldiers are having to share their kilts because defense chiefs have not finalized a contract to buy enough of the garments to go around.

The men, who face regular tours of duty in south Iraq and Afghanistan, have just 320 kilts, or one for every 15 soldiers.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Thanks again to Jim for more funny stuff.

In 2002, Jeffrey Klein and Brett Birdwell, both 17 at the time, trespassed onto a railroad yard in Lancaster, Pa., and climbed atop a boxcar to see what the view was like, but were severely burned by a 12,500-volt line on the roof and thus sued Amtrak and Norfolk Southern railroads for not having done enough to prevent them from trespassing. In October, a federal jury awarded the two men a total of about $12 million in compensatory damages plus $12 million in punitive damages.[MSNBC-AP, 10-27-06]

Duh.

Are judges really that stupid?

A 41-year-old engineer in suburban Toronto has accumulated, and worn, about 800 pairs of sports socks over 15 years (half of them off the feet of professional athletes), according to a lengthy November profile in Canada's National Post, which did not reveal his name. The worst part of his hobby, he said (besides having to keep it secret from his wife), is that he is often contacted by foot and sock fetishists, which he denies that he is, preferring to think of himself as sort of a "custodian of history," wrote the Post. [National Post (Toronto), 11-11-06]

I don't know about you, but that's not exactly something I'd be boasting about to the national newspaper.

In a deposition, Ennis, Texas, physician Aniruddha Chitale admitted that semen that patient Sherry Simpson found on her face after a 2004 colonoscopy was his and thus later pleaded guilty to sexual assault. However, in his deposition (according to a report by Dallas' WFAA-TV), Chitale insisted that the act that produced the semen was "unintentional." (Simpson is now suing Ennis Regional Medical Center for having tolerated Chitale's behavior.) [WFAA-TV (Dallas), 9-30-06]

Second of all - LOL!

How the h*ll does one defend "unintentional" facial jizz on a patient?

That poor woman, though. It's bad enough dealing with a colonoscopy, but to find cum on your face afterwards, ugh!

Perhaps the clinic could use this to their advantage. They could promote it: Every butt scope recipient receives free facial lotion.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

This is pretty disgusting, so leave it to me to share with you all.

Winter Feces or Chia Poop

Cat (Litter) Woman

You're welcome.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink

This one's for that doodie head friend of yours.

You know who I'm talking about.

Here's the swirly poop hat

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Posted by Samantha at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

For those slackers out there - like me - who still have to complete their final holiday purchases, you may be interested in the site, ReadySetHoliday, which has products from Sears, Kmart, and Lands' End.

I was asked to peruse the site recently and report on it, plus I was given a $30 gift ecard to make some purchases as reward for my efforts.

Woo Hoo! Shoppin'.

It took me a couple days to pick out what I really wanted because there's so much darn stuff. It's great!

For most women, at least.

Not sure how the experience would be for a man, although I'm sure it beats the heck out of the headaches at the malls.

I don't know about you, but I've been spending more and more of my hard-earned pennies (and I mean pennies, that cheap MR.BIG, kidding) with online shopping these days. Sure beats the h*ll out of dealing with those idiot drivers out there.

Anyhow, I made my purchases, so hopefully I'll be seeing that in the mail sometime soon. And, the only problem I had at that site was due to my own stupid mistakes in entering the account code incorrectly.

Lol, I really shouldn't be allowed near a computer.

Nonetheless, the site also has plenty other fun and intriguing stuff, not just shopping. Including a mom-to-mom message board (didn't need that), or you may be interested in playing some of the games there (like I did).

For the Candy Cane Race: My score - 4506 in 39 seconds.

Lots of neat stuff; I'm still checking out the site from time to time.

Anyhow, that's my being a shill for the day, but it was a neat experience. It's just too bad the site doesn't cater to Canucks - hopefully they'll create one for up here (hint, hint).

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Posted by Samantha at 10:09 AM | Permalink

Well, we all have reason to cheer today as the Mustang Ranch whorehouse gets to keep its name.

The infamous Mustang Ranch brothel has been cleared to operate under its famous name, 18 months after it reopened for business at a new location.

A federal judge ruled that the exclusive owner of the Mustang Ranch trademark is Lance Gilman, who bought the gaudy pink stucco buildings that once housed the bordello in 2003 and moved them a short distance next to his Wild Horse Adult Resort & Spa east of Reno.

U.S. District Judge Edward Reed Jr.'s decision Friday went against rival brothel owners David and Ingrid Burgess, who sued Gilman over the trademark to the best-known little whorehouse in the West in January 2004.

In his ruling, Reed said Gilman assumed ownership of the trademark to the state's first legal brothel when he bought the buildings on eBay from the government for $145,000 in 2003.

The government seized the Mustang Ranch in 1999 after guilty verdicts against its parent companies and manager in a federal fraud and racketeering trial.

I guess that means now, you can get screwed at the slots and with the sluts in Reno.

Ya, like you couldn't before, lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink

Let me know how you do playing String avoider deluxe.

I made it through 6 levels before losing all lives.

The pyramid one did it to me.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

These guys thought it would be pretty funny to create a McDonalds Order Song.

I guess that reduces some of the boredom of being a drive thru attendant.

I should know - that job sucked.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Okay, we don't have one here, but I'd like to shop there after this story.

Group says "fake" fur on coat at Macy's is real

The Humane Society of the United States said a $237.99 Sean John Hooded Snorkel Jacket for sale on Macy's Web site was described as having an "imitation rabbit fur collar."

But the group said when it purchased the coat, the label read "Made in China" and "genuine raccoon fur." The group said it is testing the fur to see if it is from a raccoon dog, a type of dog raised in China whose fur resembles that of a raccoon.

And, who cares, really.

I just hope the dogs were put to good use and enjoyed as a hearty dinner afterwards.

No, I'm not one to eat dogs, seeing as I like them as pets and all, but if people eat them, then that's their prerogative.

The Humane Society also told Macy's to stop selling furs altogether, which I consider completely moronic. Who cares if I want to wear fake fur.

Frick, it's not even made with animals (not that I'd care), so they can just back the heck off.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

It seems that the publisher of the OJ Simpson book, If I Did It got a Christmas canning.

Popular publisher, Judith Regan bit the big one with HarperCollins after she went ahead with that ludicrous Simpson book.

Just what does media giant Rupert Murdoch get his top book publisher, Judith Regan, for Christmas?

Apparently, a permanent vacation.

Regan, who recently made headlines for planning, then pulling, O.J. Simpson's quasi-confession, "If I Did It," was fired Friday by HarperCollins, a subsidiary of Murdoch's News Corp. Word broke during the company's holiday party.

I'm sure Murdoch et. al. have had a lot of guff over the book from the families affected, as well as from the public. So, Regan's Christmas canning was likely just a slight little payback.

Merry F*#@ing Christmas!

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink

Don't ya think?

You can create your own here.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hat Tip: Committees of Correspondence for this quizliciousness.

Here's a super short quiz that has astonishing results.

It may even make you cry a little.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

I know what I'm getting myself for Christmas.

I must purchase a copy of this blogosphere cookbook in which I was asked to submit some of my favourite recipes.

It's an awesome idea - completely done by bloggers (I believe it was the Top 100 of TTLB who were asked) - and I can't wait to read what many of my fellow bloggers have written in it, as well as try out some new recipes.

I'm electing not to read the recipes posted on the site because I want to wait until I get my copy.

Right now, the cookbook is only available at the link noted above, but it should soon be available via Amazon and other online bookstores.

For me, it's one of those "wish I'd have thought of it" ideas, so I'm fully supporting it... even though I wish I'd have thought of it.

Lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Let me guess, a vegetarian made up this tripe: Vegetarians are more intelligent, says study

A study of thousands of men and women revealed that those who stick to a vegetarian diet have IQs that are around five points higher than those who regularly eat meat.

Writing in the British Medical Journal, the researchers say it isn't clear why veggies are brainier - but admit the fruit and veg-rich vegetarian diet could somehow boost brain power.

It gets worse.

One of the researchers states that the results may mean intelligent people are considerate of the welfare of animals.

Researcher Dr Catharine Gale said there could be several explanations for the findings, including intelligent people being more likely to consider both animal welfare issues and the possible health benefits of a vegetarian diet.

Intelligent people are those who are considerate of animals and eat them as a source of protein and other necessary nutrients.

Duh.

What really ripens my peaches is this additional little annoyance:

Liz O'Neill, of the Vegetarian Society, said: 'We've always known that vegetarianism is an intelligent, compassionate choice benefiting animals, people and the environment. Now, we've got the scientific evidence to prove it.

And, I say "faulty" because the theories seem to be full of holes. As the reader, you're welcomed to point out the flaws here or read some in the comment section of that article to see what others are saying.

Let's hear more from the PERValicious mind rather than those botanical bores.

But, when it comes right down to it, they can shove their theories where the sun don't shine because I'd rather be dumb as a post and blissfully devouring meat than being a "smart" veggitard.

And, in other laughable news, VP PERV Diane's Stuff has an excellent article on some fool who wrote some anti-meatatarian book, claiming that meat eating is wrong and that apes deserve human status, or something bizarre like that.

Make sure you check out Diane's news to get in a good laugh and to comment on whether you believe Stephen Colbert deserves to become an honorary PERV or not.

PERVs love to pound their meat... then cook it up and eat it. Yum.

VIVA LA PERV!

Meeting Adjourned.

Thanks as always to VP PERV Diane's Stuff for the logo.

Previous PERV Posts

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Vegetarians Have Higher IQ’s? [by Outnumbered!]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Thanks to everyone who voted for me on the Canadian Blog awards and/or the Weblog awards.

It may be nice to win, but it's beyond awesome to know that your readers like you enough to nominate and vote for you, especially when it had to be on a daily basis.

That's a lot of effort on your part, and I appreciate it.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

When done, play Diane's Stuff's Dead Guy on the Sidebar.
And, please click some blogads to support this site.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Saddam escapes [by The HILL Chronicles]
CBS's War on Christmas [by Dumb Ox News]
Governor: Give Voters the Choice [by Perri Nelson's Website]
Chanukah 2006 - The Carnival of Lights [by Planck's Constant]
Tom DeLay ROCKS [by The HILL Chronicles]
Rainforest-Volvo-Thirsty Liberal-open weekend post [by The HILL Chronicles]
Civil War in Palestine? [by Perri Nelson's Website]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
New House Intel Chief Ignorant [by Gribbit's Word]
US Senator Tim Johnson (D- South Dakota) Stroke Updates [by The World According To Carl]
We'll Be Right Back After This Word... [by The World According To Carl]
John Kerry: Anybody but Americans [by Blue Star Chronicles]
Hillary makes a mistake [by Don Surber]
Scoop! Jamil Hussein spotted in Qana! [by Doug Ross @ Journal]
Uncooperative Talk Radio - Weekend of December 16, 2006 [by The Uncooperative Blogger]
Never Forget [by Wake up America>]
Senator Johnson still critical [by The HILL Chronicles]
Libs Love The Troops, Right? [by Pirate's Cove]
Welcome to my first Blow OUT [by The HILL Chronicles]
Study Shows Journalists Still Don't Understand Studies [by Conservative Cat]
The Slope Is Apparently Vertical [by Mark My Words]
Third Sunday in Advent - Mary [by Renaissance Blogger]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
�Google Baby� - Gore in 2008 [by The HILL Chronicles]
Thanks Tank [by The HILL Chronicles]
Potato Latke Recipe - Chanuka Memories [by Planck's Constant]
Open Letter to Tom DeLay [by Adam's Blog]
Illegal Immigration Blow OUT [by The HILL Chronicles]
Eco-Friendly Sex Aids – A Guide [by Little Frigging in the Wold]
GOP incompetence, the gift that keeps on giving [by Mark My Words]

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Posted by Samantha at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

The Grand Finale and who else, but DragonLady wins the crown. That's 13 wins total for the champion of the moron game!

And, that means that Rooster Cashews is off the throne and DragonLady is on for knowing that Rosie O'Donnell is a moron.

So, here is the complete tally of winners over the history of the Moron of the Week game:

DragonLady 13
Stray Dog 4
Peace of my mind 4
imaginekitty 3
Jim 3
The Waterglass 3
Holstein Grove 2
Rooster Cashews 2
Shockingly Provincial 2
Moonbat Monitor 2
Difster 2
von 2
What the hell is wrong with you? 2
Alabama Improper 2
Blogonomicon 2
Drunken Wisdom 1
Tales of the stupid 1
Spoonfighter 1
The World According to Nick 1
Freedom Monkey House 1
Kerrigan 1
The Hand of Munger 1
Committees of Correspondence 1
C.A.Marks 1
Still Stacy 1
Skul 1
Just a Girl 1
cjg of eroticalee 1

Congratulations to you all as this was not an easy game, guessing who the black blobs were. And, thank you all for playing and for making it fun for me to watch being played, too.

So, let's get this thing started on moron Rosie O'Donnell. And, of course, where better to start than her obscure view on the war.

Rosie O'Donnell: "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state."

Rosie O'Donnell: "And as a result of the [9-11] attack and the killing of 3,000 innocent people, we invaded two countries and killed innocent people ..."

O'Donnell: "We are bombing innocent people in other countries."

That's why it's a war, dimbulb. Someone attacked you repeatedly, so it's your responsibility to retaliate and let them know it will not be tolerated.

Duh.

As for the Christianity being as threatening as radical Islam bit, I can't even comment on how utterly moronic that is.

I'll leave it to you to roll your eyes at her.

And, she's among the many moonbats out there who call their president a war criminal for protecting their arses.

Of course, this isn't the first time O'Donnell has ragged on her country. During the 2004 get-out-the-vote rally for John Kerry, she spewed the same bologna to a nearly empty room.

I think the funniest part of that is the fact that she spoke to a room of only 38 people.

"You know, there's only like, you know, maybe 38 of us here and maybe we can just like tap a keg and put on some disco, and totally party," O'Donnell deadpanned.

But, what else is new.

Rosie stinks. I mean, take the most recent idiotic thing she's done for example: Rosie insults all of China.
Real brilliant to be making such ignorant commentary on a show that you, yourself, claim is internationally acknowledged.

You may want to hold off on the insulting your viewers bit.

Moron.

Of course, we can expect that kind of ignorance from a boob (pun intended) who dug herself another hole back when she seemed to be against the values of breastfeeding.

During an interview with The View, back before she was on the cast, O'Donnell admitted that she was jealous that her partner, Kelli Carpenter, was nursing their child:

In a statement during an appearance on ABC’s the view, outspoken lesbian Rosie O’Donnell confessed that she had ordered her lesbian partner to stop breastfeeding her child because of her jealousy.

The topic came up when the moderator Meredith Vieira mentioned the recent New York protest—or “nurse-in”—which involved 200 women breastfeeding outside of ABC’s headquarters in protest against negative remarks Barbara Walters had made about breastfeeding.

“Kelly [Rosie’s partner] only nursed for like about a month,” said Rosie at the time, “and then I was very angry, because as the other mommy...with the other babies nobody nursed because they were adopted. But with this baby it was like she was the only one getting to bond. So I was like the nursing is over! I cut her off. I’m like, you’ve had your limit honey. No more!”

One month isn't enough to do squat: health-wise AND bonding-wise.

Plus, such a statement doesn't exactly bode well for your fight towards Gay and Lesbian adoptions. It just sparks concern towards whether two women can raise a child with his/her best interest at heart.

My suggestion: shut the heck up, O'Donnell. Your loud, obnoxious voice does nothing for society, but annoy and repulse.

That's it! I'm so done with this moron.

Congratulations DragonLady for the win and the overall win.

Be sure to check back in January when I host the 2006 Moron Of The Year awards.

More on the moron:

Rosie's alleged lie: 'Do you know what happens to people who lie? They get sick and they get cancer and if they keep lying they get cancer again.'
Rosie O'Donnell Barbie Doll
Gun control piglet is against guns unless it's to save her bacon.
Rosie freaks out at Tom Selleck

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
You can bow to my greatness later [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 05:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

123beta had a little fun with my pic (gotta love my Lennon shades, lol), so I did one too.

And, here's one for the queen of the dead, DragonLady, who won this t-shirt for game #50 at Dead Guy on the Sidebar.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Pimped! [by 123beta]
You can bow to my greatness later [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

You know society's taken a turn for the worse when you read this bit of news: 4 -year-old Accused of Improperly Touching Teacher.

Thanks goes to Committees of Correspondence for sending this story my way.

A four-year-old hugged his teachers aide and was put into in-school suspension, according to the father. But La Vega school administrators have a different story.

Damarcus Blackwell's four-year-old son was lining-up to get on the bus after school last month, when he was accused of rubbing his face in the chest of a female employee.

The prinicipal of La Vega Primary School sent a letter to the Blackwells that said the pre-kindergartener demonstrated "inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment."

Unfortunately, the administration refuses to follow Blackwell's request:

Blackwell got a response from the La Vega administration. The sexual references on the discipline referral were removed. But the thing that makes Blackwell most upset is they told him "your request for an apology by the aide and removal of all paperwork regarding this incident is denied." Now the young student's file will refer to the incident as "inappropriate physical contact." And Blackwell says he will continue to fight the district.

Does this mean I can file a report on the 7 year old here for grabbing my boobs on occasion?

Seriously, people, it's called "curiosity".

CU-RI-OS-I-TY

... not sexual harrassment!

The only thing children are doing is exploring the world around them to learn about it, and it is our job as adults to teach them what they can and cannot do - WE DON'T REPORT THEM; WE TEACH THEM!

Boys don't have boobs - they are curious and want to know what those things are.

A 4 year old IS NOT a sexual predator!

F*cking stupid liberalistic PC bullsh*t is all it is.

As Committees of Correspondence questioned, "maybe Liberals will breed themselves out of the gene pool?"

And, I want to know when this political correctness garbage will peak and go on the decline. I'm getting sick of it.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Today's the last day of voting for the awards, and I need approx. 3000 votes to put me in the lead.

Think I can do it? Lol.

My category: Best Canadian Blog. Be sure to get your final votes in for other favourites, too.

THIS POST REMAINS ON TOP TODAY; PLEASE SCROLL DOWN

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Posted by Samantha at 09:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Will be revealed later today.

mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Mwa-Ha-Ha-Ha!

MWA-HA-HA-HA!

That's right, seeing as it's the final one, I'm keeping you all in suspense 'til later.

But, in the meantime, here is a list of all of the winners the game has had over the past year and three months.

DragonLady
Stray Dog
Peace of my mind
imaginekitty
Jim
The Waterglass
Holstein Grove
Rooster Cashews
Shockingly Provincial
Moonbat Monitor
Difster
von
What the hell is wrong with you?
Alabama Improper
Blogonomicon
Drunken Wisdom
Tales of the stupid
Spoonfighter
The World According to Nick
Freedom Monkey House
Kerrigan
The Hand of Munger
Committees of Correspondence
C.A.Marks
Still Stacy
Skul
Just a Girl
cjg of eroticalee

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
You can bow to my greatness later [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Well, now there are some recipes to rid yourself of all that terrible junk.

Here are a few Spam recipes to really sink your teeth into.

I haven't had Spam (the food, if that's really what it is) since I was a kid.

Kinda glad I've forgotten how it tastes. I'm definitely not a Hawaiian.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Oh no, I'm in trouble now. Or, perhaps the rest of society is.

How evil are you?

I didn't know Canada was a European country, lol, but then again, I didn't know Canada was a weapon either.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Angelic???? [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Holly's Fight for Justice shares a great timeline of the serial killer, Robert "Willy" Pickton (or alleged murderer, that is).

The Pickton murder trial is considered the largest in Canadian history, and it's happening here in my own backyard, practically.

The sicko allegedly killed 27 female sex trade workers (although one has since been disallowed by the judge due to "vague wording" by police) - but, who knows how many more he actually knocked off.

His trial begins in January, so I'll say it again, "Fry, Piggy, Fry".

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Posted by Samantha at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation. Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life... You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material. You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

I don't know, I see myself as more of a serious writer, don't you?

Your Stripper Song Is

Closer by Nine Inch Nails "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I�ve got no Soul to tell" When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

How'd they know?

And, does the following sound like me? LOL.

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

You Are Beef

You're big, burly, and maybe even a little stinky. And no one's going to come between you and a good steak. And you've probably never met a vegetable you like, unless fries and ketchup count.

Was there any doubt?

Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful

You've got a ton of brain power, and you leverage it into brilliant blog. Both creative and logical, you come up with amazing ideas and insights. A total perfectionist, you find yourself revising and rewriting posts a lot of the time. You blog for yourself - and you don't care how popular (or unpopular) your blog is!

Again, was there any doubt? lol

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

NEVER!

Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

I don't know about the heart on the sleeve bit, but whatever.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

That's the question I have for Noah who took photos of himself daily for 6 years.

I did find Marty's 30 pictures every second for 12 seconds pretty funny, though.

Heh.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Here are some ingenius advertising strategies.

They're all really good, but I particularly enjoyed the body odour one, the halogen headlights one, and the fitness company ad.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:06 PM | Permalink

It seems some pervert chose a stabbing over having to wear a condom to get with a Cambodian prostitute:

A Cambodian man has been stabbed by a sex worker in a brawl, after he refused her request to wear a condom, police said Friday. Suon Da, 25, was knifed twice in the abdominal area by Sa Rida, a 24-year-old sex worker, during the fight at a brothel in Battambang province Wednesday, said Koam Roeuy, a deputy police chief from the area.

Koam Roeuy said Suon Da had paid Sa Rida $1.20 to have sex with her. But after Suon Da repeatedly refused to wear a condom, Sa Rida gave up and left the room.

Suon Da chased after her, demanding his money back and slapping the woman, Koam Roeuy said. Sa Rida responded by stabbing Suon Da in the stomach, he said.

This leads me to ask the question: if you had to decide between wearing a condom during sex or getting stabbed, which would you choose?

On a side note, holy cheap hookers, batman. $1.20, lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

I thought everyone knew that you should never start out a relationship on a lie, let alone two lies.

But, I guess this chick didn't get the memo since she got caught in her double life lying:

A married woman stole items worth tens of thousands of dollars in a string of burglaries to make her boyfriend think she had a high-paying job, authorities said.

"She told her boyfriend in Coffee County that she had a high-paying job, so all these crimes were committed in trying to keep up with the lie she told him," Warren County Sheriff's Department Capt. Tommy Myers said.

"When we told her boyfriend about what had happened, he was shocked. He was even more shocked to find out she is still married," he said.

Too bad she didn't think to tell her "boyfriend" that she lost her job or quit or something, rather than resorting to robbery to support her high-paying job story.

This one's dumb all around.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink

This one's pretty different.

It's the Jailbreak game.

I got past level one, but gave up after getting busted too many times in level two.

Hey, at least I didn't drop the soap.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:06 PM | Permalink

Here's some more potty present ideas.

For the children, here's Pooper Scooper Barbie.

How morally responsible, lol.

And, for the adults in your life, perhaps they'd enjoy some celebrity buttplugs.

This isn't the first time Mel Gibson has been a pain in the a$$.

And, I wouldn't put it past Paris Hilton to use her buttplug in the next sex tape she makes.

*shudder*

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Posted by Samantha at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Some dude wasn't exactly thinking straight when he decided to climb into his chimney.

I don't know, maybe he was trying to revive the good ol' days of chimney sweeps, or perhaps he was practising to be Santa.

A man who was locked out of his house in this Denver suburb tried to get in by sliding down the chimney early Friday, but he got stuck and had to be rescued, authorities said.

The man, whose name wasn't released, fell about 12 feet down the shaft. Authorities said he was hurt but did not elaborate on the nature and extent of his injuries.

I want to know what possesses people to do peculiar things like that.

I mean, wouldn't you think it more intelligent to break a window rather than risk getting stuck in a chimney (and, who knows what else could have gone wrong by attempting the chimney thing - bats, chimney collapsing, etc.)?

Duh.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:04 AM | Permalink

Not to me, anyhow. But, I guess it depends on which type of Hummer we're talking about, eh.

;-D

Alright. Sure, I'd still own one if I ever became a millionaire, but it's not a cool vehicle anymore.

And, the reason: Hummer Wins First Place in Environmental Design Challenge

Environmentalism has gotten to the HumVee, too.

Gak!

The buzz around this year’s LA Auto Show has been impressive. The downtown convention centre was swamped with a large number of international and North American debuts of concepts and production cars. The event continues with the announcement of this year’s Design Challenge competition, hosted at the auto show.

This year’s theme is environmental sustainability, with teams designing a vehicle for the year 2015 that has a net environmental gain, a life expectancy of 60 months and is 100-percent recyclable. The winner was the Hummer O2, designed by GM’s West Coast Advanced Design Studio.

But, that third reason is no longer available.

Rats.

And, actually, I'm becoming less satisfied with their look ever since they've started looking more like Jeeps.

Whoopy. I've seen Jeeps. Nothing special there.

So, it looks like I'm going to have to drool over some other vehicle in the future.

Can't wait for that 2008 Challenger to come out.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Not really, but I've been linked by the Canadian Broadcasting Company, CBC radio 3.

Well, that's my spot of excitement for the day.

Thought I'd share.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Gotta love a site devoted to toilets and toilet related products.

Purchase a lovely toilet item for your loved one today.

But, if that's not up your alley, here's some Consumable Art.

My personal favourite is the yellow snow Snowman Candy Dispenser.

I'd like to get that for everyone on my list.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:01 PM | Permalink

It's the universal, and I mean universal remote.

Can they make one of these with features for women?

Please?

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Posted by Samantha at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This article contributed by The Conservative UAW Guy

So, the Frogs are going on-air with an international news station:

Jacques Chirac's dream of a global TV news network á la française, to counter Anglo-Saxon global media dominance, becomes reality tonight as France launches a bilingual 24-hour news service.

Those dang Anglo-Saxons! (Does that mean "Jooooooos!"?)

Of course, being the superior news network you have come to expect, C-U-G Headline News has uncovered mucho information about the new "all frogs all the time" network (France 24).

Here we have a picture of the station's new transmitter tower, surreptitiously taken by ace reporter, American patriot, and gun nut, jimmyb:

Additionally, here is a leaked memo containing possible French News Tag-Lines:

Like MSNBC, only smellier.

Watch us! We hate America almost as much at the American MSN and universities!!

All the Leftism that's fit to air.

Now with more condescension and snooty looks!

Don't hit us, we give!

If you can find news reports that sound any gayer, watch them.

We can hire Melissa Theuriau, and you can't.

After some intense research, we have uncovered these Fun Facts about France 24:

It smokes.

John Kerry, a major shareholder, will christen France 24 by breaking a bottle of over-rated, over-priced wine on it. He will then slander American troops.
(Go to college kids or you'll end up dead on a beach in Normandy!)

The resulting crash of glass will send 3/4 of the population running.
Alert level: Cower (sniveling optional).

It's called France 24 because the French government is hoping to steal some ratings from curious "24" fans. Jack Bauer will probably punch them in the face later.

There are plans for a new French alternative life-style show called "Cheesy-Poofs".

It has a competitively priced subscription fee, and is totally free for Germans and angry Muslims.

A plan is already in place to appease, and then surrender to, the al-Jazeer Network.

It has a little white flag waving in the bottom left-hand corner.

AccuFire 3000 Doppler Unrest-Radar - Gives hourly updates for the latest information on burning cars and buildings, as well as up-to-the-minute info on roving gangs of rioting Muslim youths.

The Sharia Hour of Power Show!

Guest op-eds by Pepe LePew. (Heh. Le cool.)

First week: 20 minute op-ed piece on why soap control/registration is imperative to national safety. (Of course, we all know this will lead to soap confiscation over there...)

Coming attractions:
30 week series on pre-emptive surrendering.
30 minute true French crime show with Inspector Cleuseau.
30 second show on French military victories.
3 second show on how to be polite.
0.3 second show on bathing.

Look for the new show France's Most Wanted: Featuring John Kerry and Jerry Lewis.

When signing off, instead of waving goodbye with one hand like the stupid Americans, they will sign off by raising both hands. Very high, and very slowly...

Looks like a win-win, folks.
I hope this report was insightful for you.
Just doing my part to culturefy the masses.
I feel so Euro now.

Diversitudiness, thy name is CUG.

Article contributed by The Conservative UAW Guy

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Posted by Samantha at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Welcome to the final episode of Moron of the Week.

Earlier in the new year, there will be a Moron Of The Year contest, but for now, this is it. So, be sure to get your guesses in while you can.

I'm sure I'll still be writing about morons now and then - because there are just so many - but it will no longer be a guessing game. And, again, I wouldn't mind if someone took this game and used it for themselves. I wouldn't mind seeing it succeed into the future.

Back to the finale. Congrats goes to Rooster Cashews for kicking imaginekitty off the throne and guessing correctly on the moron.

So, will Rooster Cashews maintain the throne for another week, or will you be the next champ?

Good luck to everyone.

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Week posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. On Friday, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess's site. Will you be the winner this week?

PS - this isn't going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)

For those unaware, but interested open trackback partiers, Linkfest Haven has a new face and a new place for you all.

Here's the link to the new Linkfest Haven Deluxe.

Now, all I have to do is get my butt in gear to change the link in my index and all will be good.

By the way, to the owners of LHD, I think you made a typo in the subtitle with the word "comes".

Ya, that's right. I know what you really meant.

;-D

PS to all - go ahead and link your daily best articles here, see OTA FAQ.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
The Fruits of Civic Illiteracy [by third world county]
Open Trackback Monday [by Wake up America>]
Moonbat Sheehan at it again [by The HILL Chronicles]
Victoria�s Secret and C-BS [by The HILL Chronicles]
Scarlett Johansson and Jean Harlow [by Planck's Constant]
BREAKING NEWS: Suicide car bomber kills 45 in Bagh [by The HILL Chronicles]
Rush Limbaugh and the Cat Thing [by Conservative Cat]
Ideology vs Science [by Mark My Words]
Second Sunday in Advent - Blue Collar Workers [by Renaissance Blogger]
How many feet does Kerry have? [by Mark My Words]
Jimmy Carter - evil or crazy? [by The HILL Chronicles]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

When done, play Diane's Stuff's Dead Guy on the Sidebar.
And, please click some blogads to support this site.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
In Which I Direct a Hissy Fit at Joe Gannon of Cat Fancy Magazine [by Conservative Cat]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Ready! AIM! . . . [by MacBros' Place]
It�s Friday again�..and Madame X? [by The HILL Chronicles]
Divest Terror Website [by The World According To Carl]
25 Christmas CD’s in 25 Days - Day 8 [by The World According To Carl]
25 Christmas CD’s in 25 Days - Day 7 [by The World According To Carl]
The Flying Imams -- Publicity Stunt? [by The World According To Carl]
The Power of Google [by Planck's Constant]
It�s that time - Weblog Awards 2006 [by The HILL Chronicles]
The Art of Linkfesting [by Linkfest Haven Deluxe]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Rep. Cynthia McKinney Introduces Bill for Impeachment [by Assorted Babble by Suzie]
Truth In Advertising [by Radioactive Liberty]
Staying the course - my thoughts [by The HILL Chronicles]
The Knuckleheads of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Lets try shame instead of coddling [by The Florida Masochist]
Vietnam and Iraq [by Blue Star Chronicles]
Top Talent being lined up for Presidential campaig [by The HILL Chronicles]
Jeanne Kirkpatrick, RIP [by Tel-Chai Nation]
Not Just the Veil - New Islamic Fashions [by Planck's Constant]
As Goes Lebanon So Goes the Middle East [by Blue Star Chronicles]

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Posted by Samantha at 08:00 PM | Permalink

Here's a fun little game to celebrate the season with.

It's a Santa that snowboards

My score: 31599

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's Tricky

On a side note, Napoleon Dynamite sucked.

Unless I missed the point, I have to say, worst movie ever!

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

You can blame Right Wing News for this one.

I don't know whether this is a video for people with weird bulges or for dogs.

UPDATE: [ Artists' Commentary ] This video expresses the joy of exercise. My theme was a fitness video that anyone could do easily at home. While I was trying to find something that both adults and children could enjoy, I saw a poodle with its “muscle-like” hairstyle and I thought, how about a girl with muscles in the same places? I hope you will watch this during the Olympic Games, work out, and become happy in both mind and body too.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
ISG equals surrender [by Right Truth]

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Rooster Cashews has kicked imaginekitty off the throne.

That means that Rooster Cashews is correct in knowing that Gwyneth Paltrow is a moron.

Some of you may remember that I've reported on Paltrow and her pitiful choice of baby names in the past: Apple, Moses, when will it end?

Well, now she's not just a moronic baby namer - she's also a moronic US offender.

I'm talking about that backstabbing insult she made about a country that has provided her with plenty of wealth and fame.

The actress, who lives in England with musician husband Chris Martin, says British people are far more "interesting" and "civilised" than her fellow Americans.

She said: "I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilised than the Americans."

The 'Shakespeare In Love' actress also praised the British for their fascinating dinner table conversation and labelled Americans money-grabbers.

Oh, but wait, she was "misinterpreted":

Gwyneth Paltrow says that she is not an American bashing actress. The blonde Oscar winner says that whatever she said - she didn't mean it or it was misinterpreted.

And, as that article notes, it isn't the first time she dissed her native US since she basically said the same things back in January.

So, what's her excuse going to be now? Her pregnancy hormones at the time cut off the circulation to her brain last time, and the excess pregnancy weight cut off the circulation this time?

Whatever.

Of course, all this asinine commentary is coming from a woman who esteems Madonna as like a sister.

What's worse is it seems she thinks she can sing like her pseudo-sister. It's been rumoured that Paltrow is creating her own album - surely to suck as bad as every other celebrity-turned-singer album.

Yet another reason why I don't bother buying CDs anymore.

And, it has recently been reported that Gwyneth is a fatty, fatty boombalady (or however it's written).

Maybe she wasn't wearing a fat suit in the movie, Shallow Hal.

New mum Gwyneth Paltrow has reportedly started a gruelling diet in a bid to shift her baby weight.

A source close to the Oscar winning actress and wife of Coldplay's Chris Martin said: "Gwyneth is really testing her willpower with this one. She has followed a macrobiotic diet for years and has only recently relaxed the rules so she can have some dairy products. But now Dr Joshi has listed everything she can and cannot have in order to get back to her pre-baby physique -- and it's scary."

The Oscar-winner has apparently been turning to tight corsets to make her look slimmer before the results of her new eating plan kicks off.

"Gwyneth has been wearing corsets to make her appear thinner but she can't wait to bin them when the diet is finished," said the source.

Only a moron would put physical appearance over health.

But, you can't expect much from a dunderhead who spews environmental hogwash with fellow moron, Cameron Diaz, every chance she gets in between capitalising on films and blasting around in jets and SUVs.

Paltrow seems to be the epitome of contradiction, or is that multiple personalities disorder?

One minute, "oh, I love the US" and the next "the US is too weird".

Moron.

Pure and simple...

moron.

And, it gets even worse when we realise that, at times, she even seems to hate London as well:

In an interview with the US version of Marie Claire, Paltrow says "London is too dirty, customers are not treated properly, and the weather is no good".

Get a life, Paltrow.

Congrats again, Rooster Cashews

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Gwyneth Paltrow is More Wrong Than We Thought [by Conservative Cat]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

The pole and the beer.

Check out some Bud Light pole dancing.

And, I sure hope this isn't how guys shop for condoms. I mean, if it doesn't fit, do you put it back on the rack for the next person. Ew.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Also known as WTF Rooms.

Here is a hotel with 31 crazy, and I mean crazy rooms.

I'm guessing the mirror room is for some kinky fun.

And, Two Lions is pretty funny.

Here is the actual website for the hotel.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Perhaps this should go out as an anonymous email to all bosses out there.

Most Bosses To Buy Holiday Gifts For Workers

According to a new survey, 56 percent of managers will be spreading holiday cheer around the office this year by giving presents to their employees.

The recent survey by CareerBuilder.com and ShopLocal said that one-third of bosses who will purchase gifts plan to spend $10 or less per staff member; bosses expect to spend more than $25 and nearly one in 10 expect to spend more than $50.

Don't be a cheap b*st*rd this year!

Lol, kidding, of course.

There are also tips at that site for gift-giving in the office, if you require the help.

Here's another "tip" you can add to that: after buying the goodies, send it all to Sam.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Some people are taking nude protesting to a hole new level.

And, yes, I meant "hole".

Residents of a small Canadian town are fed up and they are getting naked to prove it.

People in Leader, Saskatchewan, are sick of the lousy state of their main road. In an effort to showcase their frustration to the world, residents posed in the buff with something all too familiar to their town: potholes.

The pictures are part of a special calendar designed to alert people to the plight of Leader's highway, Reuters reported.

Twelve local businesspeople posed in various positions for the calendar, revealing their birthday suits alongside some of their favorite potholes.

What kind of mind links the two, lol?

Thanks again, Jim, for sending this piece of news.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here's a little lemonade stand humour.

That reminds me of this lame Canadian tv show called Just for Laughs Gags.

Cheesy.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

My favorites are Christopher Walken and Ali G.

What is yours?

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Posted by Samantha at 01:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Finalists have been announced for the Weblog awards. Be sure to head on over there to check up on some sites and to decide who you'd like to vote on in various categories.

I'm listed in the Best Canadian Blog category, eh.

I see a lot of blogs in there that I enjoy and will be voting on; I just wish more of my blog friends were in there.

Nonetheless, good luck to all. Voting should start tomorrow.

On a side note, enjoy these videos of the 10 best Jackass skits of all time.

I know, two completely unrelated topics, but thought I'd mix it up a little and do both.

And, to throw it off balance even more, here's a non-humourous self-esteem quiz.

My tally: 93, What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have very high self-esteem. You recognize your inner value and it shows in your personal life, relationships and career/school success. You exude confidence, which is very attractive, and believe enough in yourself to pursue things whole-heartedly. Such a healthy self-esteem allows you to "be yourself", handle stress effectively and maintain an overall sense of well-being. You should value and nurture this quality; it will get you far in life. Way to go!

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Voting Begins Tomorrow! [by Radioactive Liberty]

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

They may say he isn't, but he sure is... and so is his mother.
Man Accused of Faking Retardation

For nearly 20 years -- ever since Pete Costello was 8 -- his mother has collected disability benefits on his behalf. In meetings with Social Security officials and psychologists, he appeared mentally retarded and unable to communicate. His mother insisted he couldn't read or write, shower, take care of himself or drive a car.

But now prosecutors say it was all a huge fraud, and they have video of Costello contesting a traffic ticket to prove it.

They say the mother also collected for her daughter, who she claimed also had mental retardation. That's a total of $222,000 over the course of their upbringing; but, they will unlikely be able to get that money back as it is too difficult to prove past events.

I say let them keep the money. They definitely were mental for pulling sh*t like that, lol.

Throw 'em all in jail... better yet, the nuthouse.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I take it being stuck in a cage ain't so fun for some puddy tats.

Especially this demon cat.

Wonder why the camera person wouldn't put his/her hand in there.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I got a kick out of this RED, CAPRICIOUS RED post at webkittyn warbles' place and thought you might be interested, too.

It's purely enjoyable to read... like getting a bunch of red roses, but not like putting your hand on a red stovetop.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:04 PM | Permalink

Nuclear coffee mugs

Worth the five minutes

*clap*clap*clap*

Lynching of NYC Police REALLY Gets Going

The Worst Excuse Ever

Walking on Eggshells

PS. You may link your daily best articles here, see OTA FAQ.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

With this list of offensive language.

No matter what your race or ethnic identity is, you're sure to find it insulted on that page.

It's not racism if you attack every ethnicity, though, right?

Lol.

And, hey, did you know that last Friday (December 1st) should have been Blog Against Racism Day? Ya, neither did I.

Apparently, many bloggers participated in it last year at this same time, but this year, it didn't exactly "take", did it?

Not surprising considering that it's run mostly by Liberal-supporting bloggers (here are some links, if you dare): Blog Against Racism Day: The Bush DOJ, December 1: Blog Against Racism Day, Blog against racism day.

I say "not surprising", of course, because it's just like them to have a big conniption over something and then easily drop it when another "freak out" idea comes up.

I'm sure some other, non-liberal and non-political partisan, types got involved for what they thought would be a good cause, and it sounds like it could have been one; however, with Daily a$$-Kos-ers out there participating, you know it won't be a long-running success.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

What does your driving style say about your sexual habits??

My Results:

Someone has probably accused you of taking it too fast. Maybe it's time you tapped the breaks a bit? What's the big rush? You're missing all the fun. Would it really hurt to enjoy the trip and not just rush towards the end?

I mean it, bite me.

It may or may not be true, but still, bite me.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Below is a pile of gift ideas for just about everyone on your list.

Here's one for your arse face boss.

This one's for the friend who never seems to want to leave his room... wonder why.

And, here's one for same type of friend who's lonely at night.

This is a gift that'll boost a friend's ego. Perhaps give it to that big talker who obviously has low self-esteem and make their day.

And, this one's for your inbred farmer family members. You know, the ones you're embarrassed to admit are related to you.

And, what woman could go without this stress reliever? Sure beats those stress balls.

Here's one for the gifted turd in your life.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This article contributed by 123beta.

Japan's most recent robot, Ubiko, is meant to replace humans for various 'grunt' tasks such as welcoming clients and promoting products on site, amongst others.

An obvious attempt to reduce expenditures.

George the robot is playing hide-and-seek with scientist Alan Schultz.

Um...hiding what? And where?

[Sam's remark] Plus, I'm not really comfortable with this commentary on the bot:

For a robot to actually find a place to hide, and then hunt for its human playmate is a new level of human interaction.

And finally, Stanford scientists plan to make a robot capable of performing everyday tasks, such as unloading the dishwasher.

Woo-hoo!

Hey, let me know when a robot can drive a car, make supper, go to work for me when I'm sick or prepare my tax returns...

Submitted by 123beta.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

First of all, I have a little bit of sad news to all those who enjoy the moron of the week game. I will be ending the game next week, so December 15th will be the final moron reveal. Although there is still an abundance of morons and this game probably could go on forever... forever... forever..., I need to take a break from it. In all actuality, it had a longer run than I expected, but I kept it going because it seemed to be so popular. Alas, I must discontinue the game since I am attempting to take more time out for myself in life.

The blog will continue, don't get me wrong.

And, perhaps someone out there reading this may wish to take the game on themselves someday - you're welcomed to it! And, I would gladly promote it if you do.

Anyhow, I will hold one final Moron Of The Year Award contest in the New Year, so be sure to watch for that.

But, for now...

Congrats again goes to imaginekitty guessing correctly on the moron.

So, will imaginekitty maintain the throne for another week, or will you be the next champ?

Good luck to everyone.

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Week posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. On Friday, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess's site. Will you be the winner this week?

PS - this isn't going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Caption Contest - Male Model Edition [by Right Pundits]
Adios Morons! [by Diane's Stuff]
No more morons [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

Woo hoo, I didn't come in last in the Canadian Blog Awards. I came in fourth of five.

As always, it's just great knowing that I have the support of my readers - to be nominated is reward enough.

And, congratulations to Harper-Valley who came in third place in the same category, 3rd in Best New Blog, and 1st in Best Blog Post Series.

Congrats also goes to Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy for placing third in Best Progressive Blog and Nascar Ranting and Raving Blog 3rd for Best Blog Post.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

When done, play Diane's Stuff's Dead Guy on the Sidebar.
And, please click some blogads to support this site.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Barak Obama Middle Name Change Contest [by The Amboy Times]
Jimmy Carter: “If I get back in, I’m going to [expletive] the Jews.” [by Stuck On Stupid]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Evil Westboro UnChristians Chased Away From Military Funeral [by The World According To Carl]
The 2006 Hurricane Season Is Officially Over [by The World According To Carl]
As If There's A Need For More Reasons Why The U.N. Is Useless... [by The World According To Carl]
Unintended Humor In Labels [by The World According To Carl]
I better eat my spinach [by The Florida Masochist]
WTF Is That just got better! [by MacBros' Place]
Liberals Would Rather Hear Lies Than The Truth [by Wake up America]
Another Friday - Another Open Trackback Fest [by The HILL Chronicles]
Al-Qaeda arrested in Turkey, and more terror news [by Right Truth]
Good News From Iraq Part #17 [by Wake up America]
Another Friday - Another Open Trackback Fest [by The HILL Chronicles]
Freedom Folks Video: Christkindlmarket [by Freedom Folks]
For God's Sake - Stop helping Africa [by Planck's Constant]
The Co-Knucklehead of the Day award Part One [by The Florida Masochist]
The Co-Knucklehead of the Day award Part Two [by The Florida Masochist]
The Co-Knucklehead of the Day award Part Three [by The Florida Masochist]
Oregano leaves [by The Florida Masochist]
A Tale of Two Countries: Lebanon and Iraq [by Wake up America>They Should Have Been Spanked More]
Are You Ready For Insanity Next Week? [by Pirate's Cove]
Some Seasonal Humor [by Pirate's Cove]
Coast Guard Rated as Top Job for Thrill Seekers [by Starboard!!!]
Another perspective on Ubuntu–NOT compgeeky [by third world county]
OTA Post: Another look at the Flying Imams [by Leaning Straight Up]
Another look at the Flying Imams [by NW Bloggers]
Sebastian Foss Still Needs to be Stopped [by Conservative Cat]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Nicknames [by The Florida Masochist]
You Know You Are a Military Dad When ... [by Blue Star Chronicles]
You Know You Are a Marine-Army Mom When ... [by Blue Star Chronicles]
licensed to lie; Robert Young Pelton [by Cao's Blog]
Idiocracy - A world filled with Liberals and Musli [by Planck's Constant]
A new direction for America [by The HILL Chronicles]
Dennis Miller has the final word on the Flying Imams [by NW Bloggers]
Dennid Miller has the final word on the Flying Imams [by Leaning Straight Up]

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Posted by Samantha at 08:00 PM | Permalink

Please VOTE TODAY for your favourites and me at the Canadian Blog Awards.

My category: Best Humour Blog
I believe I'm in last place, so give it all you've got to push me up there.

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Posted by Samantha at 07:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

This may not be the time of year for many people to be looking at this sort of stuff, but here's a video showing you how you can get a farmer's tan corrected.

Ya, that's much better than taking your shirt off completely.

Duh.

And, he freaked me out when he first took his top off.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Sunday Funnies [by Stop The ACLU]

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Posted by Samantha at 05:01 PM | Permalink

Here's a toss game in which you can play either a winter toss or summer toss.

Somehow it screwed up while I was playing and a winter character ended up throwing an umbrella in the summer game.

Odd.

But, when you're playing against the computer, you may want to skip the advertising bits - it's pretty lame.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:01 PM | Permalink

Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do, and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women.

Another Musical Interlude

Liberals: Making fun of rednecks and gays

Dems Break 9/11 Commission Promises

PS. You may link your daily best articles here, see OTA FAQ.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:10 AM | Permalink

imaginekitty remains the winner!

The correct guess, which imaginekitty made, is Natalie Maines - lead singer of the Ditsy Twits, I mean Dixie Chicks.

Yes, our countries (US and Canada alike) are fortunate to have freedom of speech; however, it would be nice if some morons waved that right.

And, with that, I'm talking about Natalie Maines' routine anti-war/anti-Bush ramblings. It all started with Maines insulting the US president while in another country:

The Dixie Chicks are drawing criticism from country music fans for remarks singer Natalie Maines made about President George W. Bush during a recent performance in London.

Maines told the audience earlier this week, “Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.”

Angry phone calls flooded Nashville radio station WKDF-FM on Thursday, some demanding a boycott of the Texas trio's music.

I mean, to say it is one thing (one very stupid and nasty thing), but to say it to another country is borderline treasonous (if not borderline, then undeniably treasonous).

Off with her head!

Lol.

And, after all the backlash and criticism from fans, the country music world, and loyal US citizens, Maines decides to apologise.

Ya, right.

It was reported that Maines made an apology in a Diane Sawyer interview that was less than sincere:

I think it came down to, it was ... that it was in a foreign country and it was that it was an off-the-cuff statement…And I think the way I said it was disrespectful. The wording I used, the way I said it, that was disrespectful…

And, she goes on to say,

People have quoted we don’t support the troops, which is the opposite of anything we have ever said. There is not a correlation between not wanting a war and not supporting the troops who are doing their job…

Freakin' moonbats.

I guess our only solace is seeing that their record sales dropped significantly and boycotts of their music were in effect.

That's excellent considering their music sucks donkey balls.

Oh ya, and when that excuse didn't work with the public, she tried for the "it was a joke" cover-up:

Maines admitted that she told a London concert audience that the group was ashamed that the President is from their home state of Texas, but added, "It was a joke and it wasn't planned.

That explains why you have that "documentary" insulting the country, as well as have taken back your pseudo-apology:

The Dixie Chicks' Natalie Maines apologized for disrespecting President Bush during a London concert in 2003. But now, she's taking it back.

"I don't feel that way anymore," she told Time magazine for its issue hitting newsstands Monday. "I don't feel he is owed any respect whatsoever."

You thought, hey, we could make some money off our anti-war/anti-Bush ramblings now that Cindy Sheehan and other loonie moonbats are squawking.

Pandering to the feeble minded, that's all it is.

What a dumbf*ck.

Heh.

Of course, this is also the knucklehead who dedicated a song to Kevin Federline upon his divorce with Britney Spears.

"I'm gonna dedicate this next song to K-Fed," Maines said at the concert, that counted the cast of NBC's "Heroes" among those in attendance.

"I was just thinking, I bet nobody's dedicated a song to him today," she added.

Perhaps this will be the next moronic couple to hit the tabloid stands.

Just watch out K-Fed, if you end up with her, you may be asking for your own demise (not that that would be a bad thing). It seems moron Maines used to cry in the shower and dream of her first hubby's death while they were married.

Cuckoo.

Anyhow, that's enough of this moron. Congrats again, imaginekitty, on maintaining the throne.

More on the moron:
Natalie Maines Is Worthless Scum
DIXIE CHICKS QUESTION YOUR PATRIOTISM
Dixie Chicks singer apologizes for Bush comment
Heart of Dixie
Natalie Maines wiki

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Posted by Samantha at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)