The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

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Posted by Samantha at 08:00 PM | Permalink

Here's a fun little game to celebrate the season with.

It's a Santa that snowboards

My score: 31599

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's Tricky

On a side note, Napoleon Dynamite sucked.

Unless I missed the point, I have to say, worst movie ever!

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

You can blame Right Wing News for this one.

I don't know whether this is a video for people with weird bulges or for dogs.

UPDATE: [ Artists' Commentary ] This video expresses the joy of exercise. My theme was a fitness video that anyone could do easily at home. While I was trying to find something that both adults and children could enjoy, I saw a poodle with its “muscle-like” hairstyle and I thought, how about a girl with muscles in the same places? I hope you will watch this during the Olympic Games, work out, and become happy in both mind and body too.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
ISG equals surrender [by Right Truth]

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Rooster Cashews has kicked imaginekitty off the throne.

That means that Rooster Cashews is correct in knowing that Gwyneth Paltrow is a moron.

Some of you may remember that I've reported on Paltrow and her pitiful choice of baby names in the past: Apple, Moses, when will it end?

Well, now she's not just a moronic baby namer - she's also a moronic US offender.

I'm talking about that backstabbing insult she made about a country that has provided her with plenty of wealth and fame.

The actress, who lives in England with musician husband Chris Martin, says British people are far more "interesting" and "civilised" than her fellow Americans.

She said: "I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilised than the Americans."

The 'Shakespeare In Love' actress also praised the British for their fascinating dinner table conversation and labelled Americans money-grabbers.

Oh, but wait, she was "misinterpreted":

Gwyneth Paltrow says that she is not an American bashing actress. The blonde Oscar winner says that whatever she said - she didn't mean it or it was misinterpreted.

And, as that article notes, it isn't the first time she dissed her native US since she basically said the same things back in January.

So, what's her excuse going to be now? Her pregnancy hormones at the time cut off the circulation to her brain last time, and the excess pregnancy weight cut off the circulation this time?

Whatever.

Of course, all this asinine commentary is coming from a woman who esteems Madonna as like a sister.

What's worse is it seems she thinks she can sing like her pseudo-sister. It's been rumoured that Paltrow is creating her own album - surely to suck as bad as every other celebrity-turned-singer album.

Yet another reason why I don't bother buying CDs anymore.

And, it has recently been reported that Gwyneth is a fatty, fatty boombalady (or however it's written).

Maybe she wasn't wearing a fat suit in the movie, Shallow Hal.

New mum Gwyneth Paltrow has reportedly started a gruelling diet in a bid to shift her baby weight.

A source close to the Oscar winning actress and wife of Coldplay's Chris Martin said: "Gwyneth is really testing her willpower with this one. She has followed a macrobiotic diet for years and has only recently relaxed the rules so she can have some dairy products. But now Dr Joshi has listed everything she can and cannot have in order to get back to her pre-baby physique -- and it's scary."

The Oscar-winner has apparently been turning to tight corsets to make her look slimmer before the results of her new eating plan kicks off.

"Gwyneth has been wearing corsets to make her appear thinner but she can't wait to bin them when the diet is finished," said the source.

Only a moron would put physical appearance over health.

But, you can't expect much from a dunderhead who spews environmental hogwash with fellow moron, Cameron Diaz, every chance she gets in between capitalising on films and blasting around in jets and SUVs.

Paltrow seems to be the epitome of contradiction, or is that multiple personalities disorder?

One minute, "oh, I love the US" and the next "the US is too weird".

Moron.

Pure and simple...

moron.

And, it gets even worse when we realise that, at times, she even seems to hate London as well:

In an interview with the US version of Marie Claire, Paltrow says "London is too dirty, customers are not treated properly, and the weather is no good".

Get a life, Paltrow.

Congrats again, Rooster Cashews

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Gwyneth Paltrow is More Wrong Than We Thought [by Conservative Cat]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

The pole and the beer.

Check out some Bud Light pole dancing.

And, I sure hope this isn't how guys shop for condoms. I mean, if it doesn't fit, do you put it back on the rack for the next person. Ew.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Also known as WTF Rooms.

Here is a hotel with 31 crazy, and I mean crazy rooms.

I'm guessing the mirror room is for some kinky fun.

And, Two Lions is pretty funny.

Here is the actual website for the hotel.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Perhaps this should go out as an anonymous email to all bosses out there.

Most Bosses To Buy Holiday Gifts For Workers

According to a new survey, 56 percent of managers will be spreading holiday cheer around the office this year by giving presents to their employees.

The recent survey by CareerBuilder.com and ShopLocal said that one-third of bosses who will purchase gifts plan to spend $10 or less per staff member; bosses expect to spend more than $25 and nearly one in 10 expect to spend more than $50.

Don't be a cheap b*st*rd this year!

Lol, kidding, of course.

There are also tips at that site for gift-giving in the office, if you require the help.

Here's another "tip" you can add to that: after buying the goodies, send it all to Sam.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Some people are taking nude protesting to a hole new level.

And, yes, I meant "hole".

Residents of a small Canadian town are fed up and they are getting naked to prove it.

People in Leader, Saskatchewan, are sick of the lousy state of their main road. In an effort to showcase their frustration to the world, residents posed in the buff with something all too familiar to their town: potholes.

The pictures are part of a special calendar designed to alert people to the plight of Leader's highway, Reuters reported.

Twelve local businesspeople posed in various positions for the calendar, revealing their birthday suits alongside some of their favorite potholes.

What kind of mind links the two, lol?

Thanks again, Jim, for sending this piece of news.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here's a little lemonade stand humour.

That reminds me of this lame Canadian tv show called Just for Laughs Gags.

Cheesy.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

My favorites are Christopher Walken and Ali G.

What is yours?

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Posted by Samantha at 01:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Finalists have been announced for the Weblog awards. Be sure to head on over there to check up on some sites and to decide who you'd like to vote on in various categories.

I'm listed in the Best Canadian Blog category, eh.

I see a lot of blogs in there that I enjoy and will be voting on; I just wish more of my blog friends were in there.

Nonetheless, good luck to all. Voting should start tomorrow.

On a side note, enjoy these videos of the 10 best Jackass skits of all time.

I know, two completely unrelated topics, but thought I'd mix it up a little and do both.

And, to throw it off balance even more, here's a non-humourous self-esteem quiz.

My tally: 93, What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have very high self-esteem. You recognize your inner value and it shows in your personal life, relationships and career/school success. You exude confidence, which is very attractive, and believe enough in yourself to pursue things whole-heartedly. Such a healthy self-esteem allows you to "be yourself", handle stress effectively and maintain an overall sense of well-being. You should value and nurture this quality; it will get you far in life. Way to go!

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Voting Begins Tomorrow! [by Radioactive Liberty]

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

They may say he isn't, but he sure is... and so is his mother.
Man Accused of Faking Retardation

For nearly 20 years -- ever since Pete Costello was 8 -- his mother has collected disability benefits on his behalf. In meetings with Social Security officials and psychologists, he appeared mentally retarded and unable to communicate. His mother insisted he couldn't read or write, shower, take care of himself or drive a car.

But now prosecutors say it was all a huge fraud, and they have video of Costello contesting a traffic ticket to prove it.

They say the mother also collected for her daughter, who she claimed also had mental retardation. That's a total of $222,000 over the course of their upbringing; but, they will unlikely be able to get that money back as it is too difficult to prove past events.

I say let them keep the money. They definitely were mental for pulling sh*t like that, lol.

Throw 'em all in jail... better yet, the nuthouse.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I take it being stuck in a cage ain't so fun for some puddy tats.

Especially this demon cat.

Wonder why the camera person wouldn't put his/her hand in there.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I got a kick out of this RED, CAPRICIOUS RED post at webkittyn warbles' place and thought you might be interested, too.

It's purely enjoyable to read... like getting a bunch of red roses, but not like putting your hand on a red stovetop.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:04 PM | Permalink

Nuclear coffee mugs

Worth the five minutes

*clap*clap*clap*

Lynching of NYC Police REALLY Gets Going

The Worst Excuse Ever

Walking on Eggshells

PS. You may link your daily best articles here, see OTA FAQ.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

With this list of offensive language.

No matter what your race or ethnic identity is, you're sure to find it insulted on that page.

It's not racism if you attack every ethnicity, though, right?

Lol.

And, hey, did you know that last Friday (December 1st) should have been Blog Against Racism Day? Ya, neither did I.

Apparently, many bloggers participated in it last year at this same time, but this year, it didn't exactly "take", did it?

Not surprising considering that it's run mostly by Liberal-supporting bloggers (here are some links, if you dare): Blog Against Racism Day: The Bush DOJ, December 1: Blog Against Racism Day, Blog against racism day.

I say "not surprising", of course, because it's just like them to have a big conniption over something and then easily drop it when another "freak out" idea comes up.

I'm sure some other, non-liberal and non-political partisan, types got involved for what they thought would be a good cause, and it sounds like it could have been one; however, with Daily a$$-Kos-ers out there participating, you know it won't be a long-running success.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

What does your driving style say about your sexual habits??

My Results:

Someone has probably accused you of taking it too fast. Maybe it's time you tapped the breaks a bit? What's the big rush? You're missing all the fun. Would it really hurt to enjoy the trip and not just rush towards the end?

I mean it, bite me.

It may or may not be true, but still, bite me.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

Below is a pile of gift ideas for just about everyone on your list.

Here's one for your arse face boss.

This one's for the friend who never seems to want to leave his room... wonder why.

And, here's one for same type of friend who's lonely at night.

This is a gift that'll boost a friend's ego. Perhaps give it to that big talker who obviously has low self-esteem and make their day.

And, this one's for your inbred farmer family members. You know, the ones you're embarrassed to admit are related to you.

And, what woman could go without this stress reliever? Sure beats those stress balls.

Here's one for the gifted turd in your life.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This article contributed by 123beta.

Japan's most recent robot, Ubiko, is meant to replace humans for various 'grunt' tasks such as welcoming clients and promoting products on site, amongst others.

An obvious attempt to reduce expenditures.

George the robot is playing hide-and-seek with scientist Alan Schultz.

Um...hiding what? And where?

[Sam's remark] Plus, I'm not really comfortable with this commentary on the bot:

For a robot to actually find a place to hide, and then hunt for its human playmate is a new level of human interaction.

And finally, Stanford scientists plan to make a robot capable of performing everyday tasks, such as unloading the dishwasher.

Woo-hoo!

Hey, let me know when a robot can drive a car, make supper, go to work for me when I'm sick or prepare my tax returns...

Submitted by 123beta.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

First of all, I have a little bit of sad news to all those who enjoy the moron of the week game. I will be ending the game next week, so December 15th will be the final moron reveal. Although there is still an abundance of morons and this game probably could go on forever... forever... forever..., I need to take a break from it. In all actuality, it had a longer run than I expected, but I kept it going because it seemed to be so popular. Alas, I must discontinue the game since I am attempting to take more time out for myself in life.

The blog will continue, don't get me wrong.

And, perhaps someone out there reading this may wish to take the game on themselves someday - you're welcomed to it! And, I would gladly promote it if you do.

Anyhow, I will hold one final Moron Of The Year Award contest in the New Year, so be sure to watch for that.

But, for now...

Congrats again goes to imaginekitty guessing correctly on the moron.

So, will imaginekitty maintain the throne for another week, or will you be the next champ?

Good luck to everyone.

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Week posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. On Friday, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess's site. Will you be the winner this week?

PS - this isn't going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
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Posted by Samantha at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

Woo hoo, I didn't come in last in the Canadian Blog Awards. I came in fourth of five.

As always, it's just great knowing that I have the support of my readers - to be nominated is reward enough.

And, congratulations to Harper-Valley who came in third place in the same category, 3rd in Best New Blog, and 1st in Best Blog Post Series.

Congrats also goes to Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy for placing third in Best Progressive Blog and Nascar Ranting and Raving Blog 3rd for Best Blog Post.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)