The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: December 10, 2006

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Posted by Samantha at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

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Final Moron Revealed #61

Moron of the Week - 61 Rosie o'Donnell
The Grand Finale and who else, but DragonLady wins the crown. That's 13 wins total for the champion of the moron game!

And, that means that Rooster Cashews is off the throne and DragonLady is on for knowing that Rosie O'Donnell is a moron.

So, here is the complete tally of winners over the history of the Moron of the Week game:

DragonLady 13
Stray Dog 4
Peace of my mind 4
imaginekitty 3
Jim 3
The Waterglass 3
Holstein Grove 2
Rooster Cashews 2
Shockingly Provincial 2
Moonbat Monitor 2
Difster 2
von 2
What the hell is wrong with you? 2
Alabama Improper 2
Blogonomicon 2
Drunken Wisdom 1
Tales of the stupid 1
Spoonfighter 1
The World According to Nick 1
Freedom Monkey House 1
Kerrigan 1
The Hand of Munger 1
Committees of Correspondence 1
C.A.Marks 1
Still Stacy 1
Skul 1
Just a Girl 1
cjg of eroticalee 1

Congratulations to you all as this was not an easy game, guessing who the black blobs were. And, thank you all for playing and for making it fun for me to watch being played, too.

So, let's get this thing started on moron Rosie O'Donnell. And, of course, where better to start than her obscure view on the war.

Rosie O'Donnell: "Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have separation of church and state."

Rosie O'Donnell: "And as a result of the [9-11] attack and the killing of 3,000 innocent people, we invaded two countries and killed innocent people ..."

O'Donnell: "We are bombing innocent people in other countries."

Ummm... ya, and they came over and bombed innocent people in your country first (as well as drove planes into buildings and other forms of attack, which you obviously are to stupid to acknowledge).

That's why it's a war, dimbulb. Someone attacked you repeatedly, so it's your responsibility to retaliate and let them know it will not be tolerated.

Duh.

As for the Christianity being as threatening as radical Islam bit, I can't even comment on how utterly moronic that is.

I'll leave it to you to roll your eyes at her.

And, she's among the many moonbats out there who call their president a war criminal for protecting their arses.

Of course, this isn't the first time O'Donnell has ragged on her country. During the 2004 get-out-the-vote rally for John Kerry, she spewed the same bologna to a nearly empty room.

I think the funniest part of that is the fact that she spoke to a room of only 38 people.

"You know, there's only like, you know, maybe 38 of us here and maybe we can just like tap a keg and put on some disco, and totally party," O'Donnell deadpanned.

Lol, that not only speaks to a lack of Democratic support, but also to the fact that O'Donnell stinks up the joint.

But, what else is new.

Rosie stinks. I mean, take the most recent idiotic thing she's done for example: Rosie insults all of China.
Real brilliant to be making such ignorant commentary on a show that you, yourself, claim is internationally acknowledged.

You may want to hold off on the insulting your viewers bit.

Moron.

Of course, we can expect that kind of ignorance from a boob (pun intended) who dug herself another hole back when she seemed to be against the values of breastfeeding.

During an interview with The View, back before she was on the cast, O'Donnell admitted that she was jealous that her partner, Kelli Carpenter, was nursing their child:

In a statement during an appearance on ABC’s the view, outspoken lesbian Rosie O’Donnell confessed that she had ordered her lesbian partner to stop breastfeeding her child because of her jealousy.

The topic came up when the moderator Meredith Vieira mentioned the recent New York protest—or “nurse-in”—which involved 200 women breastfeeding outside of ABC’s headquarters in protest against negative remarks Barbara Walters had made about breastfeeding.

“Kelly [Rosie’s partner] only nursed for like about a month,” said Rosie at the time, “and then I was very angry, because as the other mommy...with the other babies nobody nursed because they were adopted. But with this baby it was like she was the only one getting to bond. So I was like the nursing is over! I cut her off. I’m like, you’ve had your limit honey. No more!”

Geez, that's more jealous than most men seem to get over their wives' breastfeeding.

One month isn't enough to do squat: health-wise AND bonding-wise.

Plus, such a statement doesn't exactly bode well for your fight towards Gay and Lesbian adoptions. It just sparks concern towards whether two women can raise a child with his/her best interest at heart.

My suggestion: shut the heck up, O'Donnell. Your loud, obnoxious voice does nothing for society, but annoy and repulse.

That's it! I'm so done with this moron.

Congratulations DragonLady for the win and the overall win.

Be sure to check back in January when I host the 2006 Moron Of The Year awards.

Had A Little Fun

123beta had a little fun with my pic (gotta love my Lennon shades, lol), so I did one too.

And, here's one for the queen of the dead, DragonLady, who won this t-shirt for game #50 at Dead Guy on the Sidebar.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Pimped! [by 123beta]
You can bow to my greatness later [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Sexual Harrassment... 4 Year Old

You know society's taken a turn for the worse when you read this bit of news: 4 -year-old Accused of Improperly Touching Teacher.

Thanks goes to Committees of Correspondence for sending this story my way.

A four-year-old hugged his teachers aide and was put into in-school suspension, according to the father. But La Vega school administrators have a different story.

Damarcus Blackwell's four-year-old son was lining-up to get on the bus after school last month, when he was accused of rubbing his face in the chest of a female employee.

The prinicipal of La Vega Primary School sent a letter to the Blackwells that said the pre-kindergartener demonstrated "inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment."

The parent, for good reason, fought to get the accusation off the child's record and for the aide to apologise for the accusation.

Unfortunately, the administration refuses to follow Blackwell's request:

Blackwell got a response from the La Vega administration. The sexual references on the discipline referral were removed. But the thing that makes Blackwell most upset is they told him "your request for an apology by the aide and removal of all paperwork regarding this incident is denied." Now the young student's file will refer to the incident as "inappropriate physical contact." And Blackwell says he will continue to fight the district.

Nice.

Does this mean I can file a report on the 7 year old here for grabbing my boobs on occasion?

Seriously, people, it's called "curiosity".

CU-RI-OS-I-TY

... not sexual harrassment!

The only thing children are doing is exploring the world around them to learn about it, and it is our job as adults to teach them what they can and cannot do - WE DON'T REPORT THEM; WE TEACH THEM!

Boys don't have boobs - they are curious and want to know what those things are.

A 4 year old IS NOT a sexual predator!

F*cking stupid liberalistic PC bullsh*t is all it is.

As Committees of Correspondence questioned, "maybe Liberals will breed themselves out of the gene pool?"

And, I want to know when this political correctness garbage will peak and go on the decline. I'm getting sick of it.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I NEED 3000 VOTES TODAY!

Today's the last day of voting for the awards, and I need approx. 3000 votes to put me in the lead.

Think I can do it? Lol.

My category: Best Canadian Blog. Be sure to get your final votes in for other favourites, too.

THIS POST REMAINS ON TOP TODAY; PLEASE SCROLL DOWN

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Posted by Samantha at 09:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)

Moron Of The Week

Will be revealed later today.

mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Mwa-Ha-Ha-Ha!

MWA-HA-HA-HA!

That's right, seeing as it's the final one, I'm keeping you all in suspense 'til later.

But, in the meantime, here is a list of all of the winners the game has had over the past year and three months.

DragonLady
Stray Dog
Peace of my mind
imaginekitty
Jim
The Waterglass
Holstein Grove
Rooster Cashews
Shockingly Provincial
Moonbat Monitor
Difster
von
What the hell is wrong with you?
Alabama Improper
Blogonomicon
Drunken Wisdom
Tales of the stupid
Spoonfighter
The World According to Nick
Freedom Monkey House
Kerrigan
The Hand of Munger
Committees of Correspondence
C.A.Marks
Still Stacy
Skul
Just a Girl
cjg of eroticalee

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
You can bow to my greatness later [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Hate All That Viagra Spam?

Well, now there are some recipes to rid yourself of all that terrible junk.

Here are a few Spam recipes to really sink your teeth into.

I haven't had Spam (the food, if that's really what it is) since I was a kid.

Kinda glad I've forgotten how it tastes. I'm definitely not a Hawaiian.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

How Evil Are You Quiz

Oh no, I'm in trouble now. Or, perhaps the rest of society is.

How evil are you?

I didn't know Canada was a European country, lol, but then again, I didn't know Canada was a weapon either.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Angelic???? [by DragonLady's World]

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Posted by Samantha at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Pickton: The Pig Farming Pervert

Holly's Fight for Justice shares a great timeline of the serial killer, Robert "Willy" Pickton (or alleged murderer, that is).

The Pickton murder trial is considered the largest in Canadian history, and it's happening here in my own backyard, practically.

The sicko allegedly killed 27 female sex trade workers (although one has since been disallowed by the judge due to "vague wording" by police) - but, who knows how many more he actually knocked off.

His trial begins in January, so I'll say it again, "Fry, Piggy, Fry".

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Posted by Samantha at 10:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I Spent A Lot Of Time Screwing Around Today, Can You Tell?

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation. Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life... You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material. You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

I don't know, I see myself as more of a serious writer, don't you?

Your Stripper Song Is

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I�ve got no
Soul to tell"

When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

What Song Should You Strip To?

How'd they know?

And, does the following sound like me? LOL.

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge. In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead! And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in. Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You Are Beef

You're big, burly, and maybe even a little stinky. And no one's going to come between you and a good steak. And you've probably never met a vegetable you like, unless fries and ketchup count.

What Kind of Meat Are You?

Was there any doubt?

Your Blogging Type is Confident and Insightful

You've got a ton of brain power, and you leverage it into brilliant blog. Both creative and logical, you come up with amazing ideas and insights. A total perfectionist, you find yourself revising and rewriting posts a lot of the time. You blog for yourself - and you don't care how popular (or unpopular) your blog is!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Again, was there any doubt? lol

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

NEVER!

Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I don't know about the heart on the sleeve bit, but whatever.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Why?

That's the question I have for Noah who took photos of himself daily for 6 years.

I did find Marty's 30 pictures every second for 12 seconds pretty funny, though.

Heh.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Cool Advertising Ideas

Here are some ingenius advertising strategies.

They're all really good, but I particularly enjoyed the body odour one, the halogen headlights one, and the fitness company ad.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:06 PM | Permalink

Talk About Some Cheap Whores

It seems some pervert chose a stabbing over having to wear a condom to get with a Cambodian prostitute:

A Cambodian man has been stabbed by a sex worker in a brawl, after he refused her request to wear a condom, police said Friday. Suon Da, 25, was knifed twice in the abdominal area by Sa Rida, a 24-year-old sex worker, during the fight at a brothel in Battambang province Wednesday, said Koam Roeuy, a deputy police chief from the area.

Koam Roeuy said Suon Da had paid Sa Rida $1.20 to have sex with her. But after Suon Da repeatedly refused to wear a condom, Sa Rida gave up and left the room.

Suon Da chased after her, demanding his money back and slapping the woman, Koam Roeuy said. Sa Rida responded by stabbing Suon Da in the stomach, he said.

Are condoms really that uncomfortable?

This leads me to ask the question: if you had to decide between wearing a condom during sex or getting stabbed, which would you choose?

On a side note, holy cheap hookers, batman. $1.20, lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

Double Life As A Dipsh*t

I thought everyone knew that you should never start out a relationship on a lie, let alone two lies.

But, I guess this chick didn't get the memo since she got caught in her double life lying:

A married woman stole items worth tens of thousands of dollars in a string of burglaries to make her boyfriend think she had a high-paying job, authorities said.

"She told her boyfriend in Coffee County that she had a high-paying job, so all these crimes were committed in trying to keep up with the lie she told him," Warren County Sheriff's Department Capt. Tommy Myers said.

"When we told her boyfriend about what had happened, he was shocked. He was even more shocked to find out she is still married," he said.

Geez, some people will go to any extreme for a little adultery, eh.

Too bad she didn't think to tell her "boyfriend" that she lost her job or quit or something, rather than resorting to robbery to support her high-paying job story.

This one's dumb all around.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink

Jailbreak

This one's pretty different.

It's the Jailbreak game.

I got past level one, but gave up after getting busted too many times in level two.

Hey, at least I didn't drop the soap.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:06 PM | Permalink

Christmas Present Idea #8

Here's some more potty present ideas.

For the children, here's Pooper Scooper Barbie.

How morally responsible, lol.

And, for the adults in your life, perhaps they'd enjoy some celebrity buttplugs.

This isn't the first time Mel Gibson has been a pain in the a$$.

And, I wouldn't put it past Paris Hilton to use her buttplug in the next sex tape she makes.

*shudder*

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Posted by Samantha at 01:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

What A Time Of Year For This To Happen

santa chimney
Some dude wasn't exactly thinking straight when he decided to climb into his chimney.

I don't know, maybe he was trying to revive the good ol' days of chimney sweeps, or perhaps he was practising to be Santa.

A man who was locked out of his house in this Denver suburb tried to get in by sliding down the chimney early Friday, but he got stuck and had to be rescued, authorities said.

The man, whose name wasn't released, fell about 12 feet down the shaft. Authorities said he was hurt but did not elaborate on the nature and extent of his injuries.

I'm sure the main thing bruised was his ego.

I want to know what possesses people to do peculiar things like that.

I mean, wouldn't you think it more intelligent to break a window rather than risk getting stuck in a chimney (and, who knows what else could have gone wrong by attempting the chimney thing - bats, chimney collapsing, etc.)?

Duh.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:04 AM | Permalink

The Hummer Is No Longer Cool

Not to me, anyhow. But, I guess it depends on which type of Hummer we're talking about, eh.

;-D

Alright. Sure, I'd still own one if I ever became a millionaire, but it's not a cool vehicle anymore.

And, the reason: Hummer Wins First Place in Environmental Design Challenge

Environmentalism has gotten to the HumVee, too.

Gak!

The buzz around this year’s LA Auto Show has been impressive. The downtown convention centre was swamped with a large number of international and North American debuts of concepts and production cars. The event continues with the announcement of this year’s Design Challenge competition, hosted at the auto show.

This year’s theme is environmental sustainability, with teams designing a vehicle for the year 2015 that has a net environmental gain, a life expectancy of 60 months and is 100-percent recyclable. The winner was the Hummer O2, designed by GM’s West Coast Advanced Design Studio.

I mean, I liked the Hummer first of all, for it's naughty name; second, because it looks cool, and third, for the fact that it p*ssed off enviro-weenies.

But, that third reason is no longer available.

Rats.

And, actually, I'm becoming less satisfied with their look ever since they've started looking more like Jeeps.

Whoopy. I've seen Jeeps. Nothing special there.

So, it looks like I'm going to have to drool over some other vehicle in the future.

Can't wait for that 2008 Challenger to come out.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Almost Famous

Not really, but I've been linked by the Canadian Broadcasting Company, CBC radio 3.

Well, that's my spot of excitement for the day.

Thought I'd share.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Christmas Present Idea #7

Gotta love a site devoted to toilets and toilet related products.

Purchase a lovely toilet item for your loved one today.

But, if that's not up your alley, here's some Consumable Art.

My personal favourite is the yellow snow Snowman Candy Dispenser.

I'd like to get that for everyone on my list.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:01 PM | Permalink

The Gift That May Just Make Him Weep With Joy

It's the universal, and I mean universal remote.

Can they make one of these with features for women?

Please?

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Posted by Samantha at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

France 24: Commie Du Jour

This article contributed by The Conservative UAW Guy

So, the Frogs are going on-air with an international news station:

Jacques Chirac's dream of a global TV news network á la française, to counter Anglo-Saxon global media dominance, becomes reality tonight as France launches a bilingual 24-hour news service.

Those dang Anglo-Saxons! (Does that mean "Jooooooos!"?)

Of course, being the superior news network you have come to expect, C-U-G Headline News has uncovered mucho information about the new "all frogs all the time" network (France 24).

Here we have a picture of the station's new transmitter tower, surreptitiously taken by ace reporter, American patriot, and gun nut, jimmyb:

hitler in paris

Additionally, here is a leaked memo containing possible French News Tag-Lines:

Like MSNBC, only smellier.

Watch us! We hate America almost as much at the American MSN and universities!!

All the Leftism that's fit to air.

Now with more condescension and snooty looks!

Don't hit us, we give!

If you can find news reports that sound any gayer, watch them.

We can hire Melissa Theuriau, and you can't.

Melissa Theuriau

After some intense research, we have uncovered these Fun Facts about France 24:

It smokes.

John Kerry, a major shareholder, will christen France 24 by breaking a bottle of over-rated, over-priced wine on it. He will then slander American troops.
(Go to college kids or you'll end up dead on a beach in Normandy!)

The resulting crash of glass will send 3/4 of the population running.
Alert level: Cower (sniveling optional).

It's called France 24 because the French government is hoping to steal some ratings from curious "24" fans. Jack Bauer will probably punch them in the face later.

There are plans for a new French alternative life-style show called "Cheesy-Poofs".

It has a competitively priced subscription fee, and is totally free for Germans and angry Muslims.

A plan is already in place to appease, and then surrender to, the al-Jazeer Network.

It has a little white flag waving in the bottom left-hand corner.

AccuFire 3000 Doppler Unrest-Radar - Gives hourly updates for the latest information on burning cars and buildings, as well as up-to-the-minute info on roving gangs of rioting Muslim youths.

The Sharia Hour of Power Show!

Guest op-eds by Pepe LePew. (Heh. Le cool.)

First week: 20 minute op-ed piece on why soap control/registration is imperative to national safety. (Of course, we all know this will lead to soap confiscation over there...)

Coming attractions:
30 week series on pre-emptive surrendering.
30 minute true French crime show with Inspector Cleuseau.
30 second show on French military victories.
3 second show on how to be polite.
0.3 second show on bathing.

Look for the new show France's Most Wanted: Featuring John Kerry and Jerry Lewis.

When signing off, instead of waving goodbye with one hand like the stupid Americans, they will sign off by raising both hands. Very high, and very slowly...

Looks like a win-win, folks.
I hope this report was insightful for you.
Just doing my part to culturefy the masses.
I feel so Euro now.

Diversitudiness, thy name is CUG.

Article contributed by The Conservative UAW Guy

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Posted by Samantha at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Intro To Moron Of The Week #61

Welcome to the final episode of Moron of the Week.

Earlier in the new year, there will be a Moron Of The Year contest, but for now, this is it. So, be sure to get your guesses in while you can.

I'm sure I'll still be writing about morons now and then - because there are just so many - but it will no longer be a guessing game. And, again, I wouldn't mind if someone took this game and used it for themselves. I wouldn't mind seeing it succeed into the future.

Back to the finale. Congrats goes to Rooster Cashews for kicking imaginekitty off the throne and guessing correctly on the moron.

So, will Rooster Cashews maintain the throne for another week, or will you be the next champ?

Good luck to everyone.

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Week posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. On Friday, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess's site. Will you be the winner this week?

PS - this isn't going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (17)