The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsMoron Revealed #60
Rooster Cashews has kicked imaginekitty off the throne.
That means that Rooster Cashews is correct in knowing that Gwyneth Paltrow is a moron.
Some of you may remember that I've reported on Paltrow and her pitiful choice of baby names in the past: Apple, Moses, when will it end?
Well, now she's not just a moronic baby namer - she's also a moronic US offender.
I'm talking about that backstabbing insult she made about a country that has provided her with plenty of wealth and fame.
The actress, who lives in England with musician husband Chris Martin, says British people are far more "interesting" and "civilised" than her fellow Americans.So, hand back the money if you're so bitter about it, you idiot.She said: "I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilised than the Americans."
The 'Shakespeare In Love' actress also praised the British for their fascinating dinner table conversation and labelled Americans money-grabbers.
Oh, but wait, she was "misinterpreted":
Gwyneth Paltrow says that she is not an American bashing actress. The blonde Oscar winner says that whatever she said - she didn't mean it or it was misinterpreted.Uh, sure, she didn't mean to say that her country sucks compared to another.
And, as that article notes, it isn't the first time she dissed her native US since she basically said the same things back in January.
So, what's her excuse going to be now? Her pregnancy hormones at the time cut off the circulation to her brain last time, and the excess pregnancy weight cut off the circulation this time?
Whatever.
Of course, all this asinine commentary is coming from a woman who esteems Madonna as like a sister.
What's worse is it seems she thinks she can sing like her pseudo-sister. It's been rumoured that Paltrow is creating her own album - surely to suck as bad as every other celebrity-turned-singer album.
Yet another reason why I don't bother buying CDs anymore.
And, it has recently been reported that Gwyneth is a fatty, fatty boombalady (or however it's written).
Maybe she wasn't wearing a fat suit in the movie, Shallow Hal.
New mum Gwyneth Paltrow has reportedly started a gruelling diet in a bid to shift her baby weight.Whatever. Kill yourself on your own time, dumbnuts.A source close to the Oscar winning actress and wife of Coldplay's Chris Martin said: "Gwyneth is really testing her willpower with this one. She has followed a macrobiotic diet for years and has only recently relaxed the rules so she can have some dairy products. But now Dr Joshi has listed everything she can and cannot have in order to get back to her pre-baby physique -- and it's scary."
The Oscar-winner has apparently been turning to tight corsets to make her look slimmer before the results of her new eating plan kicks off.
"Gwyneth has been wearing corsets to make her appear thinner but she can't wait to bin them when the diet is finished," said the source.
Only a moron would put physical appearance over health.
But, you can't expect much from a dunderhead who spews environmental hogwash with fellow moron, Cameron Diaz, every chance she gets in between capitalising on films and blasting around in jets and SUVs.
Paltrow seems to be the epitome of contradiction, or is that multiple personalities disorder?
One minute, "oh, I love the US" and the next "the US is too weird".
Moron.
Pure and simple...
moron.
And, it gets even worse when we realise that, at times, she even seems to hate London as well:
In an interview with the US version of Marie Claire, Paltrow says "London is too dirty, customers are not treated properly, and the weather is no good".I think she's just a flippin' complainer... with a possible multiple personalities issue.
Get a life, Paltrow.
Congrats again, Rooster Cashews
Comments
Her turkey neck was a dead giveaway. Samantha, I really appreciate your site and will be sorry to see this feature go away. Thanks for doing it as long as you have.
Posted by: K in Dallas | December 8, 2006 07:11 AM
Lol.
Thanks, I'm glad it was fun for people and congrats on your win this week.
There's one more left, next week will be the final one, then the Moron of the year will start in January, so be sure to look for that when the time comes.
I've really appreciated how much interest people have had in the game.
Posted by: Sam | December 8, 2006 07:29 AM
Okay, that's a, uh, "great" pic of a crack whore, but where's the pic of Gwyneth Paltrow?
Posted by: Jason![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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December 8, 2006 07:46 AM
I thoguht that was Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas.
And didn't the english pretty much invade everybody because they thought they owned everything?
Posted by: cubicle.reverend | December 8, 2006 07:51 AM
Jason - Crack whore, Paltrow, what's the difference again?
Lol.
cubicle.reverend - yes, they invaded, but they also "civilised" everyone, too, lol.
Posted by: Sam | December 8, 2006 08:48 AM
Man this story makes me angry. Hope she never comes back to the US...
Posted by: seb | December 8, 2006 09:48 AM
She is a real moron - IDIOT du jour! Did anyone hear her with that FAKE "English Accent" -- I almost peed on myself I laughed so hare. Let England keep her! She does not even qualify as a "Thomas Paine." Ad least Paine had intelligence to back him up -- she has nothing more than "HOLLYWEIRD" fame and a some "BUCKS" -- a real loser.
Posted by: Layla | December 8, 2006 10:48 AM
Hmm, I don't know. You sure that's not Justin Timberlake?? LMAO
Posted by: DragonLady | December 8, 2006 07:51 PM
Wow. I don't read a lot of hollywood trash, so this was news to me. So sad since I love some of the movies she has been in and happen to really like Coldplay. Why can't people just be nice?
I guess they really are ALL wierdos in hollywood.
Posted by: sprittibee | December 9, 2006 08:40 PM
I still want to know what a gwyneth is. Is it animal, vegetable or mineral? Can it be used to un-clog a toilet? Is it perhaps what is clogging the toilet? Beats me, just sounds like something that needs to be cleaned up.
Posted by: Skul | December 10, 2006 06:29 AM