The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Thanks again to Jim for more funny stuff.

In 2002, Jeffrey Klein and Brett Birdwell, both 17 at the time, trespassed onto a railroad yard in Lancaster, Pa., and climbed atop a boxcar to see what the view was like, but were severely burned by a 12,500-volt line on the roof and thus sued Amtrak and Norfolk Southern railroads for not having done enough to prevent them from trespassing. In October, a federal jury awarded the two men a total of about $12 million in compensatory damages plus $12 million in punitive damages.[MSNBC-AP, 10-27-06]

Duh.

Are judges really that stupid?

A 41-year-old engineer in suburban Toronto has accumulated, and worn, about 800 pairs of sports socks over 15 years (half of them off the feet of professional athletes), according to a lengthy November profile in Canada's National Post, which did not reveal his name. The worst part of his hobby, he said (besides having to keep it secret from his wife), is that he is often contacted by foot and sock fetishists, which he denies that he is, preferring to think of himself as sort of a "custodian of history," wrote the Post. [National Post (Toronto), 11-11-06]

I don't know about you, but that's not exactly something I'd be boasting about to the national newspaper.

In a deposition, Ennis, Texas, physician Aniruddha Chitale admitted that semen that patient Sherry Simpson found on her face after a 2004 colonoscopy was his and thus later pleaded guilty to sexual assault. However, in his deposition (according to a report by Dallas' WFAA-TV), Chitale insisted that the act that produced the semen was "unintentional." (Simpson is now suing Ennis Regional Medical Center for having tolerated Chitale's behavior.) [WFAA-TV (Dallas), 9-30-06]

Second of all - LOL!

How the h*ll does one defend "unintentional" facial jizz on a patient?

That poor woman, though. It's bad enough dealing with a colonoscopy, but to find cum on your face afterwards, ugh!

Perhaps the clinic could use this to their advantage. They could promote it: Every butt scope recipient receives free facial lotion.