The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns'Twas the night before Christmas Revisited
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House
Pelosi was a stirring, with Murtha the louse;
The Dems were asking to hang George without care,
In hopes the troops would soon be back from over there;
While the Dems have been known to be way off their meds,
The voters took to replacing a few Republican talking heads;
The voters fell into the nastiest of traps,
With a choice between loonies or pork belly flaps;
With pork belly spending getting fatter and fatter,
The voters didn’t know what to do with the matter;
The voters had enough of the Republican trash,
But will their decision end up giving a rash;
Now you’d think with such a devastating blow,
The Republicans would eat some of their crow.
You might even guess they’d have something to fear,
That their jobs would be gone in some other year;
But Rumsfeld was gone as George threw him out quick,
Enough to make some voters overly sick.
Just when some thought Republicans would own some of the blame,
In the end the conservative base will get more of the same;
Well 2008 is going to give them a fixin',
Their heads in their arse so they’ll get another good lick’en;
The Republicans still have more room for a fall,
And next time with Hillary in charge of it all;
Now the Democrats have a bigger piece of the pie,
That has to be said with an unfortunate sigh;
And worse yet still, it will stay that way too,
So long as the Republicans hold on to their poo;
So more of John Kerry the tall Heinz aloof,
And more of Ted Kennedy the old fat goof;
Principles will be lacking and narrowly found,
Where conservative ideas aren’t around;
Republican leaders you best seek some input,
From your base or you’ll see something afoot;
Republicans best start sending illegals on back,
And make sure the fence building stays upon track;
Fight hard to put originalists upon the judiciary,
As whom the Democrats want will no doubt be scary;
Don’t act like you’ve been abducted by a liberal UFO,
The base wants to see some serious get-up-and-go;
Keep John McCain from kicking the base in the teeth,
You might want to tie him up in some sort of sheathe;
The base doesn’t want a House full of nervous Nellies,
Nor does the base want their leaders stuffing their potbellies;
Don’t treat tax payer money like a trough for yourself,
Getting kickbacks or cars or even a new mantelshelf;
Start thinking like Reagan-his thoughts in your head,
And the base can go back to fearing Democrats instead;
The Republicans need to get back to their work,
Before the base replaces them with some other jerk;
You can be sure the voters won’t be holding their nose,
And vote for a Republican who smells less than a rose;
So next time the base feels another dismissal,
The Republican Party will be sent to an abyssal;
So for now the government has turned away from the right,
But the hope is the end of that will soon be in sight.
