The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: STUNT COCK CASTING CALL

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Stunt Cock Ya, you read that correct.

Warning: the following link contains adult content. Viewer discretion is advised.

It looks like you, or someone you know, could be the next BIG thing.

An online adult shopping centre, LoveHoney, is hosting a casting call for all male exhibitionists, or any men who are proud of their "package".

If you make the "cut", you may be the next "member" to show your "cock" (oh wait, that last word didn't need an emphasis) to the online world.

They won't say what this is all about, but they do let you know that it has nothing to do with actual stunt cocks ("A 'stunt cock' is also the guy who supplies surplus semen during the making of a porn movie.").

Intriguing, isn't it?

Here's what you'll need:

An erect penis (for no longer than two minutes)
A small amount of dexterity
The ability to follow written instructions
A digital camera
An assistant (though you could do it on your own)
A cloth to clean up afterwards

So, if you're an "early riser", then get out your "gravy maker" and work that "joystick" for this contest, and perhaps you could be the next "diamond cutter" in the rough. Perhaps you're "hardware" is that "hidden treasure" we're all looking for.

Yup, get out your "mayonnaise pistol" or your "six shooter", or even your "super soaker", and begin dancing around the "maypole" because you might be the next "real deal".

Or, if you have that special musical talent, whip out your "trombone", "tuba" or "trouser flute", and play us all a neat little tune.

I just hope you're not the one to get the "shaft".

K, I'm done.

May 2008

Comments

Sounds to me that somebody is just looking for free armature porn without having to pay for it.

I'd try out, but I have no way to film through a microscope. :P

Posted by: MacBros | January 17, 2007 09:20 AM

MacBros - are you sure that's the reason? I thought it would be opposite - because you couldn't fit it all in the picture frame.

Posted by: Sam | January 17, 2007 10:10 AM

Well, Sam should've gotten her fill of penis through 2010.

Posted by: Jason | January 17, 2007 10:56 AM

Er, uh... I meant her fill of penis euphemisms. Yeah. That's it.

Posted by: Jason | January 17, 2007 10:57 AM

Ya, I'm no where near my cap for 2010. Bring 'em on!

Lol.

Posted by: Sam | January 17, 2007 01:23 PM

Well Sam, I didn't want to brag because you know what they say about guys that do right?

Posted by: MacBros | January 17, 2007 02:03 PM

I have a PhD* in that area. HMmmm wonder if I should apply?
At my age it's that contract stipulation about "must be erect" that could be a problem though.
BTW, laughed so hard I had to change my Depends twice today -- see what you do to a guy Ms. Burns!

(*PhD=pretty huge dick)

Posted by: Larry | January 17, 2007 02:06 PM

Lol, Larry. I've always been attracted to men with Ph.D's, thought it was their intelligence, but now I know otherwise.

Posted by: Sam | January 17, 2007 08:35 PM

Yeah, I don't brag, either.

I let my wife do that for me. Har!

Posted by: Jason | January 18, 2007 06:58 AM