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This article contributed by 123beta.
I guess there really is a website for everything:
Alibinetwork.com provides you with discreet alibi's and excuses.
Need an alibi for work? Having an affair?
Are you unemployed, but would like everyone to think you make six figures?
Are you just a sneaky little creep? Then this site is for you!
And it only costs... $75.00 a year. Wow! What a bargain :)
Welcome to the 21st century...
Article contributed by 123beta.
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Termites [by The Florida Masochist]
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Conservapedia [by Jon Swift]
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This article contributed by Risemoon of Right Celebrity.
Watch this Ninja impress his girl. HA!
Article contributed by Risemoon of Right Celebrity.
Sam adds: Gotta love that wacky British humour, lol.
This article contributed by 123beta.
More proof that Hollywood is freakin' nuts...and thinks we'll pay money to watch just about anything.
Who in their right mind would pay money to view the Milli Vanilli story?
Here's a quick summation of that majestic career: Two untalented hacks somehow get recording contract then fool the public with a lip-synced Grammy performance, as a result has to give their Grammy Award back, then one member gets jail time for robbery and dies of drug over-dose.
Oh yeah, really *good* stuff.
I'd rather watch grass grow... or nurse a cold... or...
Article contributed by 123beta.
Sam adds: Oh great, and we all know that news like this will bring that famously cr*ptacular song, Girl You Know It's True, back to the radio stations.
UGH!
This article was posted by the Cubicle Reverend:
Having spent the better part of a decade volunteering with youth ministries I am always interested in reading as many articles on the subject as I can. Most are pretty tame, safe, little puff peaces that really don't mean much of anything. Once in a blue moon someone comes up with something fascinating or controversial. Some orginization called The Religious Institute (I've never heard of them) have come out with an open letter to get churches to finally start talking about sexuality with our kids. Because sexuality is healthy and good in all stages of life.... Maybe my feelings on the matter are antiquated, but I still believe in the virtue of waiting til marriage to have sex. They don't really bring that subject up at all in the letter. Oddly enough, it is an idea that has become less popular in many churches in the past few years. I know of at least one youth pastor carries condoms with them for the simple reason that kids are going to have sex anyway so we might as well make sure they are protected. No wonder kids are confused or have bad views about sexuality. I am curious to see what the people who receive this letter will do in reaction. Some will cry it is an outrage. Others will just nod their heads in agreement and promptly move it to their recycle bin. Whatever conversation we might have will be silenced.
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I know I've been a little slack on the blogging, and so has Butch at 123beta, but I never thought anyone would figure out why.
Leave it to Debbie at Right Truth to use some excellent Private Investigator skills to track us down.
After doing some exhaustive research this is what she found...
May your Valentine's Day be full of Whips, Chains, and Squeegees!
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Happy Valentine's Day [by 123beta]
This one's pretty self-explanatory, well... for most of us, anyhow.
Gotta love newbies and their stupid questions.
I'm so glad I don't have a job in technical support.
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Tech Support [by rightlinx.com]
This article contributed by McCain of RightPundits.
Ha ha! This hilarious video of Spiders on Drugs has been around all month, but I’ve never watched it just because the title sounded boring. How am I, a mere Blogger, qualified to judge science? Lindsay Lohan on booze videos just sounded more entertaining. But nooooooo, you gotta see it. You just gotta!
Article contributed by RightPundits.
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Thanks goes to Jim for these news bits.
At least 30 Texas death-row inmates have pages on dating Web sites, according to a November Associated Press report, and the murderers usually describe themselves in cuddly terms. Wrote convicted cop-killer Randy Halprin, "I think I'm a pretty funny guy. I have a wacked (sic) sense of humor. I can be a big kid at heart. I'm a hopeless (and I mean hopeless) romatic (sic)." [Amarillo Globe News-AP, 11-11-06]Go ahead ladies, cuddle a cop killer today! Sounds like their bear hugs could squeeze the life right outta ya.
I find it kinda funny that Halprin misspelled the word "wacky" and wrote "wacked". How fitting.
However, also in November, Calvin Bennett, 26, a suspect in two Arkansas murders, was traced by police to Rothschild, Wis., by the personal ad he had placed on a dating Web site, describing himself as shy and giving his ideal evening as "a nice romantic dinner with soft music, followed by a romantic walk or a carriage ride." [Minneapolis Star Tribune-AP, 11-20-06]He left out the most romantic part about taking you home to a lovely trail of blood strewn on the floor, leading you into his bedroom where he's lighted some of your favourite scented candles and has decapitated his third known victim... and guess who's lucky #4.
Marshall Byers, 28, was arrested in Everett, Wash., in December, and charged with the attempted murder of his estranged wife's boyfriend (who was treated for five knife wounds). According to prosecutors, Byers was surprised at the "attempted" charge. Allegedly, he told a detective, "What? I thought I stuck him like a pig. What do you mean, he's alive?" [Seattle Post-Intelligencer-AP, 12-22-06]I say give him a murder charge and drop the attempted - he didn't want it anyhow, so give the man what he wants.
Also Should Have Kept His Mouth Shut: Jeremy Lyons, 20, was arrested in Hanover Township, Pa., in October for an alleged vandalism spree, bashing car windows with a baseball bat. A local TV station had carried a story of the arrest of another person, and Lyons for some reason called the station and, laughing, told them they had the wrong man. He was arrested when the call was traced. [WNEP-TV (Moosic, Pa.), 10-24-06]Well, I guess if there has to be criminals in this world, let's hope they're all dumb ones like these.
This article contributed by 123beta.
A Dutch gym is now offering a 'clothes optional' day. Oh yeah, sign me up!
Note to self: Remember, it's rude to stare!
My guess is that there will be five times as many males to show-up as females.
Wanna place a bet?
Article contributed by 123beta.
Sam adds: What about naked Monday thru Saturday?
And, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't exactly be too excited working out next to someone whose arse is engulfing the entire bicycle seat, or watching butt cheeks flapping while they jog on the treadmill, or how about being the one spotting the dude who's doing the leg press.
You might actually catch a glimps of some orifices you had hoped you'd never see in your lifetime.
Ugh.
Thanks goes to Roger for this hilarious finds.
Forget f*cking like rabbits, more like screwing like Sootie.
I don't know about you, but for some reason, I got that one AC/DC song stuck in my head right now.
Now, that's what I call some hot sex. I guess there really is a time and a place for everything; and apparently, cooking and oral sex don't mix.
Won't stop me from trying, however.
Lol.
And, one last one: Buzzing undies.
I gotta find me a pair of those!
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The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
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This article contributed by 123beta.
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere):
1. BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
then leaves.
3. CUBE FARM:
An office filled with cubicles.
7. MOUSE POTATO:
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
4. STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
5. SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic
strip is worn away from extensive use.
6. XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
7. IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find
yourself unable to stop watching them.
8. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.
9. 404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.
10. OHNOSECOND:
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake.)
Bonus word:
11. CROP DUSTING:
Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
Feel free to add to this um, list...
Article contributed by 123beta.
PS from Sam - HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY 123beta. It was on the 26th, so I hope you don't mind a belated Happy! Keep listening out for that knock on the door; I guess I have to locate your home first, lol. *HUGS*
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