The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

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Posted by Samantha at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It seems Sheryl "a$$-wipe" Crow has broken a cardinal rule about adopting babies: she got one from within the USA.

Sheryl's reps haven't released any new information, except to say the baby was born in the United States. Sheryl announced on her website that she'll be taking time off her touring schedule to enjoy some "private family time."

I feel sorry for the baby, though. I mean, that kid's gotta learn to live using only one sheet while his mommy probably wipes her arse with the whole roll.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:02 AM | Permalink

My throat's a little hoarse.

It seems we may have something to worry about now that oral sex may lead to throat cancer.

Human papillomavirus (HPV), which can be transmitted during oral sex, is the main cause of oropharyngeal (throat) cancer, researchers found. The study is the first to prove the link.

Researchers compared 100 men and women who were recently diagnosed with oral cancer with 200 similar people without the disease.

They found that participants who reported having oral sex -- fellatio or cunnilingus -- with six or more partners were at the highest risk (8.6 times more) of develping throat cancer.

Lol.

Kidding, of course. I'm innocent, I tells ya.

But, for all those sitting on the edge of their seats right now, don't fret. It seems there is little likelihood of actually getting it and there is help to protect against the HPV strains.

*phew*

Screw on, folks, screw on.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)