The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsParis's Potty Problems And Other Painful Paris Poop
Oh, I'm not getting totally sick and tired of the name Paris, are you?
Yet another reason to dislike France, eh, coming up with a name like that.
Blech!
Let's begin, if we must. It seems that after going in and out of prison this past little while, poor Paris Hilton has become scared to take a dookie on the dumper.
Paris Hilton is so petrified of being photographed on the toilet in jail she is refusing to eat or drink.Ya, I'm sure that's why she won't eat or drink. Like it has nothing to do with keeping up an anorexic-looking figure while in the slammer. Perhaps she's trying to maintain her figure in the hopes of getting a date.
But, rest assured, that chicklet will never be anyone's b*tch, despite her frail appearance. I don't know about you, but she just strikes me as the type to be the aggressor while behind bars - the one to do the b*tchslapping and clawing, not the one receiving. And, with her system all backed up from refusing to sit on the royal throne, I'm sure she's ripe with irritation and frustration (if not constipation) enough to slap the bajebus out of anyone in her way.
Oh ya, and let's not forget the anger she must be feeling towards her talent agency since it dropped her recently.
Sounds like another person we know who got the boot for being a useless role model.
And, I'm sure that right about now, Paris has a bit of resentment towards her friend, Nicole Richie. I mean, at least Nicole could squeeze herself through those prison bars to make her escape.
Fat ol' Paris could never do that!
Anyhow, by now, I'm sure you realise that I'm being facetious about this whole fiasco. I have to be, because In my opinion, this whole story is just a ruse. All of a sudden, this publicly known weird and wild celebrity moron is making changes in her life for the better? As a result of her vacation in prison?
I don't think so.
I wouldn't doubt for a second that it was set up from the get-go - drinking, car crashes, drunk driving, smashy smashy. I'm thinking Hilton may be tired of her wild and crazy party lifestyle persona and the only way she could think to change it (with the aid of family and agents, of course, because we all know Paris can't think on her own) without having the public forget about her completely, was to have an epiphany in prison.
How blasé.
Couldn't they have come up with something more unique? It's like a tv movie of the week, or something.
*yawn*
Anyhow, I'm done with this, but here's the spoof video for you if you haven't already seen it.
Comments
Well I don't know what she thinks there's left to see…she's been showing the whole world her "business" since she was a kid anyway.
There's nothing left to the imagination anyway.
What's left, eh?
Posted by: Mark Shipley | June 14, 2007 10:13 AM
Hi Sam! It's been awhile, sorry for not popping in more often but I am always so busy! Hope all is great with you and I like you new pic in the header. You go girl!
As for Paris---UGH! What can I say except that is one huge waste of a human being. There has to be more to us than being just a shallow shell-but Paris has made a career out of shallow.
Posted by: Layla | June 14, 2007 02:17 PM
I hear you ten fold Sam!
The only sad thing about Paris is that she is such a sheltered little piece of dung is that she probably will not learn anything from her "jail" time.
She needs to be incarcerated with the real prisoners. She needs a severe dose of realism
Posted by: Ole Blue | June 16, 2007 01:31 PM
We can only hope that if Paris herself doesn't learn anything, that the unfortunate legions of little girls who adore her will see there is a less glamourous side to the whole shameful episode.
My first time here, SB... great blog!
Posted by: Jayne | June 17, 2007 04:13 PM
Welcome Jayne
Posted by: Sam | June 17, 2007 11:04 PM