The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

It's fun for me to write on different crazies out there. The insane things other people do can be quite funny. But I thought what the hell, why don't I write ten crazy things about me. So here goes!

1. One time I thought I was dying. I was taking a shower and saw all these spots on the bottom of my feet that looked like bruises. I kept trying to figure out what I had done or if my shoes caused it. So I went and asked my husband if it was normal to have bruises all over the bottom of my feet (like we already know it's not). My husband reminded me I had colored my hair the day before and that the color had dripped all over the bathroom floor, which I had cleaned up by the way. Okay so I was relieved, but like duh! How could I have missed that one--or better yet forgot that it was "hair color?"

2. I am a perfectionist by nature and will do something over until I believe I have it right or better still perfect.

3. I love to laugh. I make up zany remarks when I am talking to people that come off the cuff a lot easier than it does for me trying to figure out what to write that you all will think is funny. So I am not trying. But I did decide to just talk to you all instead. I am zany!

4. One time I was in the super market-okay this is embarrassing-but I know it has had to happen to everyone ad least once in their lives. I passed a silent fart while I was waiting in line. Okay I was relieved it was silent until I noticed it stunk. OMG! I pretended I forgot something, which more than likely gave the clue to all it was me, and went down the nearest isle pretending to look for something I forgot. Yeah I know that is gross, but what the heck it really did happen to me.

5. I love finding old things and turning them into new treasures. Or like someone will throw out a sewing machine and I will see it, take it home if it is in good shape, test it to see if it works, and if it does, then I store it with all my other finds and have my yearly yard sale of others garbage turned my treasures. I've made good money doing it. Maybe you all would like trying it. It is a lot of fun.

6. My favorite colors are red, maroon, green, and hunter green. I know they are all in the same color family, but thats me.

7. If I could celebrate Christmas everyday I would. I have been in love with Christmas since I could remember. Thanksgiving follows second.

8. One time I was shopping in the mall about ten years ago and I ran into a girl I knew in high school. But she hated me when we were in high school and threatened back then to cut up my pretty face and kill me. So when this chick came up to me in the mall and said, "Hi, Layla Elizabeth?" I pretended I did not know who she was. When she proceeded to tell me I looked just like a girl in high school I casually listened as if I were amused, then politely said to her, "How interesting, I am sorry to disappoint you, but I am not Layla Elizabeth." She then apologized and said it was a case of mistaken identity but was just so stunned how much I looked like her. Heh! Would you admit you were who you are if the person recognizing you threatened to cut up your pretty face and kill you even though it was back in high school? I don't know, maybe you would, but not me. No way!

9. Talking about high school I was not allowed to graduate with my class because me and a bunch of other girls, who also were not allowed to graduate with our class, ditched a day of school a week before graduation to go to the beach. Now that was a real drag and why to this day I hate Catholic schools. Nothing against Catholics mind you, and I even like nuns, but back in the day those nuns did not have a life-hmmm...I really don't think they have one today either. Do you?

10. Last but not least, but the end of the 10 until I come up with my next 10 for you is the fact that I am a computer geek. I love being a wannabee techie. I have rebuilt and refurbished computers not for money, just for fun! Well, I am not sure that is how a girl wants to have fun all the time, but it is how I want to have fun sometimes!

That's it until next time. I hope you are enjoying crazy me - I am!

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Layla Elizabeth at 09:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Can you tell the difference between a person and a large toy beaver with two oversized front teeth?

I hope so. Because this lady created an uproar in Germany, had the police summoned who ended up surrounding a van, and for what? Nothing.

Okay, so it was dark outside and maybe she really couldn't see. But how about taking a second look before sounding the alarm and calling in the authorities?

Armed police went into action in the German city of Wuppertal after a woman reported seeing a masked criminal -- but having rushed to the scene, they were surprised to find not a crook, but a large stuffed toy.

The woman was returning late at night to her car in an indoor car park when she saw the suspected brigand through the window of a parked van, police said Thursday.

Though she later admitted to only catching a glimpse in the darkness, she was sufficiently alarmed to alert the authorities.

Armed officers arrived in three cars and surrounded the van. What they found was a large toy beaver, strapped into the passenger seat.

A police spokesman said he struggled to see how the toy, which has two oversized front teeth, could have been mistaken for a person. (source)

I'm struggling too over this one. Hmmm, even being color blind does not fly. So I won't try to figure this one out. Chalk it up to mental illness - yah think?

All I can say about this one is duh!

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Layla Elizabeth at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

There has been a lot of news insanity of late. Hillary is ticked because the Pentagon did not stop, drop, and roll when she wanted classified information regarding an Iraq pullout. Then there are all the unending polls - Hillary tops Obama, and Edwards. Of course then you must know that Giuliani tops McCain, Thompson, and Romney. The lovely polls that are wrong half the time have the election won by Hillary beating out Giuliani in 2008.

Wouldn't it be nice if the media did not know something - just once? But the media knows it all and Fox News has become the biggest culprit all the while claiming exemption because they are "fair and balanced." So much for fair and balanced, I mean if you are fair and balanced that means - that says - you are capitulating with the enemies of western civilization.

There is no longer one media outlet that can be completely trusted and Fox News has blown the trust of many Americans. How many more blond haired - blue eyed bimbos report to us our news before we ask are they all cloned?

Via Media Bias Basics:

The Liberal Media Exposed (PDF Report): Formatted, easy-to-print pages detailing the key results of nearly two dozen surveys about media bias. The report also includes quotes from top journalists denying a liberal media bias, plus comments from journalists acknowledging the problem. Updated May 2007.

How the Media Vote. Surveys of journalists’ self-reported voting habits show them backing the Democratic candidate in every presidential election since 1964, including landslide losers George McGovern, Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis. In 2004, a poll conducted by the University of Connecticut found journalists backed John Kerry over George W. Bush by a greater than two-to-one margin. See Section.

Journalists’ Political Views. Compared to their audiences, journalists are far more likely to say they are Democrats or liberals, and they espouse liberal positions on a wide variety of issues. A 2004 poll by the Pew Research Center for The People & The Press found five times more journalists described themselves as “liberal” as said they were “conservative.” See Section.

How the Public Views the Media. In increasing numbers, the viewing audiences recognize the media’s liberal tilt. Gallup polls have consistently found that three times as many see the media as “too liberal” as see a media that is “too conservative.” A 2005 survey conducted for the American Journalism Review found nearly two-thirds of the public disagreed with the statement, “The news media try to report the news without bias,” and 42 percent of adults disagreed strongly. See Section.

Admissions of Liberal Bias. A number of journalists have admitted that the majority of their brethren approach the news from a liberal angle. During the 2004 presidential campaign, for example, Newsweek’s Evan Thomas predicted that sympathetic media coverage would boost Kerry’s vote by “maybe 15 points,” which he later revised to five points. In 2005, ex-CBS News President Van Gordon Sauter confessed he stopped watching his old network: “The unremitting liberal orientation finally became too much for me.” See Section

Denials of Liberal Bias. Many journalists continue to deny the liberal bias that taints their profession. During the height of CBS’s forged memo scandal during the 2004 campaign, Dan Rather insisted that the problem wasn’t his bias, it was his anybody who criticized him. “People who are so passionately partisan politically or ideologically committed basically say, ‘Because he won’t report it our way, we’re going to hang something bad around his neck and choke him with it, check him out of existence if we can, if not make him feel great pain,’” Rather told USA Today in September 2004. “They know that I’m fiercely independent and that’s what drives them up a wall.” See Section.

Evidence of Bias in News Coverage. The Media Research Center continuously reports on instances of the liberal bias in the mainstream media. Daily CyberAlerts offer a regular roundup of the latest instances of biased reporting, while our NewsBusters blog allows Web users to post their own reactions. Media Reality Check fax reports showcase important stories that the news media have distorted or ignored, and several times each year the MRC publishes Special Reports offering in-depth documentation of the media’s bias on specific issues.

The insanity marches on.

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Layla Elizabeth at 07:42 PM | Permalink

That's right, you think you have heard it all - WRONG! Wrong again! How about your thoughts on "Death & Ice Cream?" Do you even have thoughts on death and ice cream?

Personally I am not too concerned. I figure by the time I am dead ice cream won't matter anymore.

While we are on the subject of food I thought this was interesting. Bags of uneaten fast food helped police bust a couple of counterfeiters.

Fast food busts counterfeiting ring:

An officer who pulled over a car in January noticed food from several different fast-food restaurants and a large amount of cash, federal prosecutors said.

The officer went back to the restaurants and found that people matching descriptions of those in the car had paid for the food with fake $100 bills, authorities said.

A total of $6,000 in counterfeit bills was eventually found in the car, prosecutors said.

Michele Ann Reynolds, a 35-year-old passenger in the car, pleaded guilty Wednesday to possession of counterfeit money. The driver, Henry Lee Orr, 45, also has pleaded guilty to counterfeiting and is awaiting sentencing.

Well ad least they weren't hungry when they got busted. Talk about dumb.

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Layla Elizabeth at 12:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Here is my mug shot for all of you wondering what does this Layla gal look like?

Now look, I am smart enough to know my looks might grab yah, but they won't keep yah!

So unto some funny stuff to come shortly......

The funny stuff is what I hope keeps yah!

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Layla Elizabeth at 11:30 AM | Permalink

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Clinton Plays the-Hurt Feelings Card [by Conservative Cat]
Murtha’s Mail. It’s Not Pretty [by Pirate's Cove]
Barack Obama Supports Sex Education for Kindergart [by Blue Star Chronicles]
Peeing [by Adeline and Hazel]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Drugs and the Never-ending War [by Planck's Constant]
The Difference Between Conservatives And Liberals [by 123beta]
Democrats Refuse to Take Responsibility [by Adam's Blog]
America promises 1 million dollars to Mexico and Central America [by Right Truth]
Carnival of Fair Tax Supporters IV [by Blog for Cox: The Official John Cox Campaign Blog]
Will the Blogosphere Defend Our Military the Same [by Blue Star Chronicles]
Patton Has His Say About the Global War on Terror [by Blue Star Chronicles]

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hi everyone. I am Layla Gonzalez. Some of you know me, some of you never heard of me. Some of you probably are thinking who the hell cares who this "Layla Gonzalez" is!

Well, you should care, because I am honored to be taking over Sam's blog while she is away on her hiatus. But don't cry yet!

For those of you readers that do not know who I am here is the scoop. I am a usually serious - quick on the draw - in your face political blogger, writer, and analyst. I am affiliated with the Pajamas Media Network Bloggers. I wish I could tell you I am a biggie like Michelle Malkin, but I cannot. I am just a humble blogger that loves to write, set some wrongs - right and have been fortunate get to know some of the best and brightest bloggers on the Internet. Sam being one of them.

When Sam said she wanted a blog takeover I could not help but offer to do so. There have been so many times at my humble abode I wanted to say things, write things, be funny as hell and joke, but that is not The HILL Chronicles. It would of been out of place.

The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns gives me an outlet and venue to express my humorous side. I can say things without worrying I will be scrutinized because "that is not what your blog is about, why are doing that here?" Thanks to Sam's trust and faith in me I will be able to hopefully entertain you, make you laugh, make you think, but what I really wish is that I can be almost as good as Sam to keep you coming back.

So don't cry yet and give me chance. I mean it can't be that bad, or could it? Hmmmm.....now that is a scary thought!

If you are interested in getting to know a little bit about me and my serious side you can hop over to my site here and check it out. If you are not into that - cool, come back here because I will be around. Sam is counting on me!

Here's to getting to know you all and having some fun and laughs together. I truly am looking forward to this.

Cheers!
Layla

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
What the [by The HILL Chronicles]

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Layla Elizabeth at 07:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
State Sponsors of Jihadism: Learning the Hard Way [by Committees of Correspondence]
Vets for Freedom Continues Marching On The Hill [by Committees of Correspondence]
July 19,1969 Is A Day Ted Kennedy Would Like Us To Forget…38 Years Later, We Remember Mary Jo [by Right Voices]
From the Silly News Desk [by The Florida Masochist]
Global Warming Today: Hey You! Stop Eating Steak [by Pirate's Cove]
New Shocking “Hate Crime!” [by Freedom Folks]
Breastfeed all you want [by Planck's Constant]
Enough already [by Potbelly Stove]
The Congressional Follies Podcast [by Adam's Blog]

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Samantha at 03:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Britain contemptuously buries Winston Churchill [by Tel-Chai Nation]
From the Silly News Desk [by The Florida Masochist]
How to get a Muslim's goat - sex with animals [by Planck's Constant]
Breaking News: Toxicology Results in for Chris Ben [by Adeline and Hazel]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
DEPORT THEM NOW [by Right Voices]
Losing For Dummies [by Committees of Correspondence]

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Samantha at 12:34 AM | Permalink

As I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been able to blog much these days. And, rather than taking it up when I do have time to write once in a blue moon, I've decided to stop altogether.

I am going to make this an open invitation, though, to anyone who would like to blog on this site full time. It doesn't pay - in fact it costs me more to run the site than for what I get out of it - so this won't be a paid gig. But, if you want to take over my site and gain the readership I have, then drop me a line and I may be able to get you going on that.

I will keep this site open for the OTA, as well. Therefore, there will be an open trackback article posted daily and throughout the weekend as long as it is of use to people. I hope, if nothing else, that this site can remain helpful for this purpose.

I've had an unbelievable time blogging, and I've made a heck of a lot of awesome friends on here. I'll miss my readers more than I'll miss my writing, that's for sure. But, I just can't get back to it with everything that's going on in my life presently. Who knows, you may see me around in the future kicking some celeb's butt or better yet, some half-witted, enviro-weenie's arse; but for now, I have to go.

Take care, all!

Please consider this an open trackback article.
Trackbacking info: Showcase your best work; attract new readers (linking this article in return of course). Do NOT link your open trackback post here. Use Linkfest Haven Deluxe instead. To the right, you will find OTA members who are doing open trackbacks for the day.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
More On Drug Dealer In Border Agents Case [by Pirate's Cove]
Al Gore and the Running of the Bulls [by Planck's Constant]
Good Night Sam [by 123beta]
Does the Media Have Decency? [by Adam's Blog]
Samantha Burns: No longer ranting (possibly still crazy) [by The Meatriarchy]

Digg This! • Add to del.icio.us • Email this

Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)