The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

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Posted by Samantha at 04:51 PM | Permalink

Well, if you aren't, but you know someone who is, this may be the perrr...rrrr...fect gift for them.

It's the Hello Kitty personal vibrator. Oh wait, my mistake, it's a "shoulder massager".

Once up[on] a time Japanese schoolgirls discovered that their super-cute Hello Kitty Shoulder Massagers could be used for more than massaging their shoulders!

You can even get one in a keychain verrr...rrr...sion.

As they say, it's an "essential gift for any Hello Kitty fan", so make sure you supply your 3 year old niece with one for Christmas.

Lol.

And, you can collect all your favourite colours! One for each horny day of the week.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Wedding Ring Deflects Robber's Bullet

Apparently, an antique shop owner, Donnie Register, was saved by his wedding ring after he was shot at by a robber.

Police reported that two men walked into Register's shop at The Antique Market in Jackson, Miss., and asked to see a coin collection.

One of the men pulled a gun, police said.

The owner threw his hand up just in time for the bullet to hit his wedding band, thus saving his life.

So, there ya go, fellas. Not only can marriage help you live longer, but it can also save your life.

Who knew.

And, on the flip side of the coin (get it? *Boo *Hiss), some widow may get rich over the death of her hubby. In this news bit, Japanese courts have ruled for a widow who's husband was worked to death at the Toyota Motor Corp. The man died after putting in more than 106 hours of overtime in one month.

Evidently, the company claimed that the man only logged 45 hours of overtime, but the court ruled otherwise.

The employee, who was working at a Toyota factory in central Japan, died of irregular heartbeat in February 2002 after passing out in the factory around 4 a.m.

And, I thought 1 or 2 hours of overtime sucked.

Remind me to flip my boss off next time he asks me to watch the kids for a bit longer.

Lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

At least, those are the words of Ole Blue The Heretic in a meme, and I'm sure most of you concur.

So, here's the meme I was tagged with and as always, I'm not tagging others, but if you choose to do this on your own, let me know and I'll go check it out.

· When tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you.
· Then post the rules before your list, and list eight random things about yourself.
· At the end of the post you must tag and link to eight other people.

1. At the moment, I'm struggling with finding an occupation that utilizes my skills and wills. If blogging were a job, I'd love to go to work every day; unfortunately, it doesn't pay my bills.

2. I'd like to try my hand at acting/improv/or some form of performance, regardless of how much most celebrities sicken me.

3. I bought a drum set even though I shouldn't have and couldn't really afford it, but I've been missing playing the drums for over 15 years and couldn't take it anymore. It's great to wail on them as a way to take out my frustrations and to give me peace of mind.

4. I wish cars would revert back to the good ol' days when they burned gas big time and looked smokin' hot! Nothing beats the old Dodge Charger, Challenger, Malibu, Camaro, Firebird, Roadrunner, Barracuda, GTO, Nova, Pinto (oops, did I say Pinto?).

5. I took up knitting recently. What was I thinking? It is definitely not me. I made something that Mr.Big looked at and called an "Elf Hat". I'm that bad at it; I have no frickin' clue what I'm doing.

6. I hope Santa brings me a great job opportunity for Christmas. That, and a Jag.

7. It's taken me two days to come up with 6 random thoughts. Now that I'm on the 7th, I'm stumped more than ever. One more thought to go. Come on brain, you can do it! Oh ya, 7 is one of my "lucky" numbers - heck I was born on a 7, must be lucky for me.

8. Duh... Uh... My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Ya, I've completely lost my ability to think randomly. How about you? Got 8 of them in ya?

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Posted by Samantha at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)