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Robert Pickton guilty on 6 counts of second-degree murder
...he's been convicted now of six counts of second-degree murder and will get six mandatory life sentences....Previous related entries:
This has been quite an interesting week and also a sad week while I was away. The rescuers have yet to reach the trapped miners in Utah. Three rescuers died and another six were injured.
My prayers are with the families in Utah for both the trapped miners and the rescuers. I cannot imagine what they are experiencing. Only God knows if they are still alive, and if they are, for how much longer they can hold on - if at all. My heart breaks for all involved - what a sad, sad situation.
I read this week that the so-called Palestinians are once again trying to force more Christians out of Gaza. Several weeks ago you may recall that I wrote on how these thugs kidnapped a Christian woman and forced her to convert to Islam. I am sure they would have killed her had she not complied with their force and brutality.
On a very interesting note I was at the pharmacy today and met a Coptic Christian woman. Apparently she was subbing for today only at CVS as their pharmacist. She is originally from Egypt.
Those of you that read here frequently know I lived in Egypt for several years. During the course of our conversing, mostly in English, we talked about her hometown of Alexandria, Egypt, which I stayed in for several days on vacation while living in Egypt. It is a beautiful city on the Mediterranean Sea. The sunsets are a site to behold.
As the conversation progressed we touched on the fact that there have been many outbreaks of violence in Alexandria regarding the jailed Egyptian blogger, Kareem, whom I have written on in the past. She readily agreed that of late things were looking grim in her hometown and actually admitted to me that this is why she and so many others from her native country have come to America to live. That is saying a lot about the state of Egypt, its lack of freedom, and the danger that lurks causing Egyptians to flee their own country.
There is still more insanity continuing regarding illegal immigration. You know what? I am truly at a point where I just do not care anymore. The elected people on The HILL are not going to do anything about this problem - they do not care because they do not see it as affecting them - and it does not affect them. Unfortunately for us it is affecting our lives in the jobs we are hired for or lose - because you either speak Spanish or better learn, because you will be left behind.
Though this problem of illegals will not go away - we can ad least demand that if you are in this country have enough respect for the country that you broke in to and stole from to learn English.
As an American I find it disgustingly hypocritical that we bend over backwards to make sure the Hispanic/Latino populous is understood and can understand in their native tongue - yet forty years ago this would have been unheard of. In fact, in my fathers time, when he immigrated here to the United States he was told to learn English, he was required to take American History classes taught by ICE, and adapt to the American lifestyle. Also, he was told he must sign a contract agreeing to adhere to the afore mentioned.
Not today - not anymore. Now we all must learn Spanish, okay - I have no real problem with that - BUT - the Hispanic/Latino counterparts had better learn English. That is my final word on it.
At the weeks end and going into a new week I am wishing all my dear readers the best that life has to offer you and may God continue to bless each and every one of you. Thank you for reading The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns and thank you for continuing to grace me with your comments.
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http://animus.mechanus.org/?p=60 [by Animus Ex Machina]
If you have not heard about "fire in the hole" then let me explain it to you. This is an Internet fueled prank that teens are engaging in. Police are looking for the culprits in Westmoreland County Pennsylvania.
Basically this is a done via drive-through's at Subway, Wendy's, and other fast food chains. The teen orders their food, then when they proceed to the take-out window they throw a drink, sometimes laced with hot pepper, and throw the drink into the unsuspecting employee yelling "fire in the hole!"
Police in Westmoreland County say they're still looking for the people responsible for an Internet-fueled prank known as "fire in the hole."Police say two more incidents have occurred, both at the Taco Bell in Norwin Hills shopping plaza, since a drive-through worker at a nearby Subway restaurant was targeted on July 31st.
The prank involves people who throw drinks at clerks who work at the drive-through windows, and yell "fire in the hole." Police say the pranks are usually recorded on camera phones or other devices and uploaded onto video-sharing sites like YouTube.
Police in North Huntingdon Township have not charged anyone in the attacks at this point.
More "fire-in-the-hole" attacks have been reported in North Huntingdon, police said.The latest incident happened Tuesday at the drive-through of a Taco Bell in the Norwin Hills shopping center, according to police.
Police said there is video footage that shows a teenager ordering a soda, taking it from the fast-food worker, yelling "fire in the hole" and throwing it back in her face.
It is completely reprehensible that YouTube has no morals and standards by hosting such sick videos. Furthermore, our youth has become more depraved as time goes on because of not only what they are exposed to, but what parents are not doing - parenting their child - not in all cases, but many.
Though I am sure there are many good families and parents that do their best for their children - the sub-culture of corrupted youth is a huge influence on our children. This is not just your average one time prank.
As a matter of fact, this so-called prank is not funny in the least and has caused countless embarrassment and discomfort to the victims. What sort of mindset affords one to even think for one minute that this prank is funny?
I must say that I am finding less good in our youth and much wrong with the parents of many that have given up, because our society promotes immorality and living for the moment.
This is a no win situation for our young children, teens, and adults. It is time adults send a strong message that this not only will not be tolerated any longer, but that severe punishment will befall those that have no respect for the rule of the law.
This behavior is akin to lawlessness. It must be confronted and stopped. Contact your local youth groups and police departments and ask what you can do within your own community to reach out to the youth.
Not all parents have given up, but enough have or have not parented that we can see such a decline in teen behavior to the point it is merciless.
When a nation loses its youth to immorality - a nation falls - as is the U.S. slowly falling. These are sad days and we must all step up to the plate to help save our youth and our nation.
Listening to Fox News yesterday I was struck by a report and interview done by Julie Banderas. Banderas reported that many states, but just recently in Maine, a bill was passed that would hold parents completely responsible for their teens alcohol consumption. In particular, if the drinking was done in the teens home under parental knowledge, however, lack of that knowledge does not allow the parent off the hook.
I do not advocate teen drinking, but in all honesty I drank as a teen with my peers and I would venture to say most of us did. I realize there is always the exception, but for impact, I am not discussing the exception, but the average teen that will drink now and then.
I believe if any adult knowingly contributes to teen drinking, that yes, they should be held responsible. Having said that, if a teen sneaks into the parents liquor cabinet be it locked or unlocked without parental knowledge beforehand, then that parent should not be held liable. That is just wrong. Parents cannot be expected to know all things and be all places all the time. It is just physically and mentally impossible to do that and to expect such is ludicrous.
What I find most offensive about this bill is that it is "big brother" coming into your home and legislating once again how you should raise your child and the consequences thereof if you do not comply.
Even more troubling is the fact that in California schools, and many around the nation following their example allow sexual education and orientation to be taught.
Allow me to be clear on this matter. This article is not about bashing gays and lesbians, whom are good people, and many happen to be friends of mine. It is also not about sex. Sex is a wonderful and beautiful gift to humankind for all to enjoy.
My point is that "big brother" has no right trumping the wishes of parents not wanting their child to be exposed to sexual education and or sexual orientation regarding alternate lifestyles.
I am of the mind set of many, including many gays and lesbians, that sex education and the sexual orientation is something private that should be kept such. Most people do agree that it is the parents responsibility to educate their child regarding sex and sexuality - how they deem fit, not our schools.
Of course we all realize that parents have been overridden on this issue and many other issues such as child pornography. The Supreme Court ruled some years back that child pornography was within the guidelines of the Constitution and did not violate freedom of expression.
It behooves me to think how some laws do not protect our children or their innocence - yet other laws are passed that will penalize a parent if their child is caught drinking in their home and or if something were to happen as a direct result of that drinking.
In other words, "big brother" empowers parents to police their children when it comes to drinking. But when it comes to child safety - protecting a child from the exploitation of pornography - that all of a sudden becomes the right of the individual who takes such pictures - allowing them to do so under our Constitution.
Do you see the crap fed to us by "big brother?" Do you see the dichotomy of it all? It is absurd to think that in one breath parents should be held responsible for their teens drinking and in that same vein a parent has no rights and or input into what is being taught to their child in public schools - in particular sexual education and sexual orientation.
Beginning next week there will be a seven day tour that Banderas reported on where a preacher who is teaching teens in his church the evils of pornography - teams up with a pornography film maker to discuss the issue and its effects on our youth and society in general.
The thought behind the tour is that pornography is infiltrating our homes and schools at the rate fast food has hit our nation over the last forty years. There is no sanctity left in marriage, there is no respect for men and or women, their is no allure, no mystery, just raw - unadulterated pornography and it is corrupting our youth and our society. It has ruined many a lives and destroyed countless marriages.
I realize that reporting on these and other issues and singing to the choir do not make these issues go away and or necessarily change. But one thing is definitely so in this nation - should enough people polarize against an issue, any issue, then we see the shakers and movers jump up into action.
How long are we going to tolerate "big brother" coming into our homes and schools and telling us how we should and or should not be raising our children?
Since when could "morality" ever be legislated?
There are some things yo'mama didn't tell you. My mom didn't tell me much. Her mantra was, "you will find out when you grow up." I sure did!
What didn't yo'mama tell you?
Make mine with pepperoni, bacon, and pineapples.
It seems a brewer in Chicago has created a special new drink, pizza beer.
Yes, pizza-flavoured beer.
His pizza beer started as a brewing experiment. He added tomatoes, oregano, garlic and basil to one batch and called the result Mamma Mia Pizza Beer.What's next? Nacho beer, chips and dip beer, Cheetoh's beer?
Man, hockey season would be a blast with all that, eh.
The only problem is that those beer guts will definitely be getting bigger if this becomes mainstream, that's for sure.
Oh well, bring it on! I'll just work out harder in the off-season, lol.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Monday [by Conservative Cat]
... and what it means to me.
That is, aside from providing me with a little more safety and security while flying.
In case you haven't heard, Canada just came out with a new 'No Fly' list of names as an anti-terrorism strategy.
CSIS and the RCMP have compiled the Canadian list, which is designed to keep terror suspects off commercial flights in this country.The criteria involved in the list seems alright, but it may mean I can no longer fly.
I mean, just look at the checklist of criteria for whom cannot fly:
1. A person who is or has been involved in a terrorist group,Oh great, already I'm in the hot seat with my anti-PETA organisation, PERV.
2. A person who has been convicted of life-threatening crimes against aviationDoes that Nerf dart that I shot up into the air count? It really hurt my friend when it came down and poked him in the forehead. Or, perhaps I'll get the boot as a result of that BB Gun I once shot at a bird.
3. A person who has been convicted of one or more serious offences who may attack an air carrierNo comment.
Clearly, I'm not too concerned about my name being on the list, and I think the wackjobs who are freaking out about this new list are over-exaggerating (what's new)... or are possibly guilty.
Heck, it's much better than any pre-9/11 plan we've had - which is NONE!
You know, I always took joy in getting a Happy Meal from McD's when I was a kid because the toys inside were so fun to get. But, now that I'm older, the thrill is gone.
Or..., it was.
It seems McD's is offering a new kind of satisfaction as some granny found a condom in her granddaughter's Happy Meal.
I don't want to know what she did with it.
Ew.
Spokeswoman Joanna Redfern-Hardisty said because of its popularity, the previous happy meal gift had sold out at the outlet and prepackaged sports bags were substituted as children's gifts.I wonder if they then ran out of sports bags, so they replaced those with the scroat coats and love gloves.
(I'm going to have to start eating McDonalds again)
Na, I still can't stomach it.
Aw, they're so lovely and furry and snuggly and something-y.
Blech!
This is how much I love them....
The cow: IT tastes great on a bun with ketchup and even great grilled and served with peppercorn sauce.
The fish: it is great feeling the tug of IT, WHICH is on my hook as I reel IT into my boat. And, it is also wonderful gutting, cleaning, and frying IT up.
The (fill-in-the-blank): ah, h*ll... they're all good.
No, I haven't lost it. I'm just poking a little fun at PETA after they sent a complaint letter, telling journalists to stop referring to animals as "it" and "which".
Apparently, they would prefer to be called "he", "she", and "who" ('cause animals are just so astute, eh).
PETA dispatched a letter to Norm Goldstein, editor of The Associated Press Stylebook, suggesting that it is time to revise the book’s language guidelines—which currently characterize animals as inanimate objects—and bring the references in line with 21st century attitudes.Ya, animals have feelings too, you know.
Morons.
They're dinner. Plain and simple. Dinner.
Check out Malkin's article for more, and if you love eating chicken or just plain old hate PETA and all those wackos, head on over to the KFC Cruelty site and poke a little fun at PETA with the sign generator.
Here's mine:
To learn more about PERV, here are the previous PERV posts.
Thankfully, I can say that I wouldn't have won $25,000 from this contest since I've never had a "clog story".
It seems the Scott toilet paper company hosted a contest recently to share some worst toilet clog story.
The winner was Jim Holeva and you can read his story and others' here: Share your cloggiest moment.
Here's just a sampling of the weird stories sent in:
"An elderly woman confesses to a flight attendant that she dropped her teeth in the toilet, then emerges from the bathroom with a blue grin."Well, who needs to wash them off... toilets are clean, right?
"A bridesmaid sneakily tries on the bride’s gown, only to flush the train down the toilet, leaving the dress soaked and stained in blue chemical."Two words: Dead Meat!
A young woman clogs the toilet, slips on the overflowing water and bumps her head moments before her first date arrives.Let me guess, no second date.
So, do you have any worst clog stories to share? That is, if it's not too embarrassing for you, lol.
There may be another unsightly trend on the rise as a company is trying to cure baby baldness by bringing out a line of wigs for infants.
How pitiful does one have to be...?
"At BabyToupee, we don't take ourselves or our products too seriously. In fact, BabyToupees are just the first of many fun products designed to give that special baby a little extra personality and to ensure that parents retain theirs... along with a sense of humour."Ya, who wants to bet that celebrities won't be seeing this as a joke, but instead, a new trendy statement that will do nothing, but embarrass their kids and provide them with a reason to seek therapy later in their lives?
Here's the twisted site: BabyToupee.
And, I thought most people loved to see cute little babies with peach fuzz heads.
Man, that is so tacky.
Previous/Related: Dog F*cking Wigs
PLEASE CONSIDER THIS AN OPEN THREAD.
Well, we all have reason to cheer today as the Mustang Ranch whorehouse gets to keep its name.
The infamous Mustang Ranch brothel has been cleared to operate under its famous name, 18 months after it reopened for business at a new location.Apparently, the whole thing began after the government put up the brothel for auction on eBay, which was seized from David Burgess's uncle-in-law, Joe Conforte:A federal judge ruled that the exclusive owner of the Mustang Ranch trademark is Lance Gilman, who bought the gaudy pink stucco buildings that once housed the bordello in 2003 and moved them a short distance next to his Wild Horse Adult Resort & Spa east of Reno.
U.S. District Judge Edward Reed Jr.'s decision Friday went against rival brothel owners David and Ingrid Burgess, who sued Gilman over the trademark to the best-known little whorehouse in the West in January 2004.
In his ruling, Reed said Gilman assumed ownership of the trademark to the state's first legal brothel when he bought the buildings on eBay from the government for $145,000 in 2003.So, it sounds like the most famous little whorehouse in the world remains alive, but in a new Reno location.The government seized the Mustang Ranch in 1999 after guilty verdicts against its parent companies and manager in a federal fraud and racketeering trial.
I guess that means now, you can get screwed at the slots and with the sluts in Reno.
Ya, like you couldn't before, lol.
Okay, we don't have one here, but I'd like to shop there after this story.
Group says "fake" fur on coat at Macy's is real
The Humane Society of the United States said a $237.99 Sean John Hooded Snorkel Jacket for sale on Macy's Web site was described as having an "imitation rabbit fur collar."I don't know how one confuses raccoon dog fur with fake rabbit, but I suppose it's possible.But the group said when it purchased the coat, the label read "Made in China" and "genuine raccoon fur." The group said it is testing the fur to see if it is from a raccoon dog, a type of dog raised in China whose fur resembles that of a raccoon.
And, who cares, really.
I just hope the dogs were put to good use and enjoyed as a hearty dinner afterwards.
No, I'm not one to eat dogs, seeing as I like them as pets and all, but if people eat them, then that's their prerogative.
The Humane Society also told Macy's to stop selling furs altogether, which I consider completely moronic. Who cares if I want to wear fake fur.
Frick, it's not even made with animals (not that I'd care), so they can just back the heck off.
It seems that the publisher of the OJ Simpson book, If I Did It got a Christmas canning.
Popular publisher, Judith Regan bit the big one with HarperCollins after she went ahead with that ludicrous Simpson book.
Just what does media giant Rupert Murdoch get his top book publisher, Judith Regan, for Christmas?And, I'd have to say, well deserved.Apparently, a permanent vacation.
Regan, who recently made headlines for planning, then pulling, O.J. Simpson's quasi-confession, "If I Did It," was fired Friday by HarperCollins, a subsidiary of Murdoch's News Corp. Word broke during the company's holiday party.
I'm sure Murdoch et. al. have had a lot of guff over the book from the families affected, as well as from the public. So, Regan's Christmas canning was likely just a slight little payback.
Merry F*#@ing Christmas!
You know society's taken a turn for the worse when you read this bit of news: 4 -year-old Accused of Improperly Touching Teacher.
Thanks goes to Committees of Correspondence for sending this story my way.
A four-year-old hugged his teachers aide and was put into in-school suspension, according to the father. But La Vega school administrators have a different story.The parent, for good reason, fought to get the accusation off the child's record and for the aide to apologise for the accusation.Damarcus Blackwell's four-year-old son was lining-up to get on the bus after school last month, when he was accused of rubbing his face in the chest of a female employee.
The prinicipal of La Vega Primary School sent a letter to the Blackwells that said the pre-kindergartener demonstrated "inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment."
Unfortunately, the administration refuses to follow Blackwell's request:
Blackwell got a response from the La Vega administration. The sexual references on the discipline referral were removed. But the thing that makes Blackwell most upset is they told him "your request for an apology by the aide and removal of all paperwork regarding this incident is denied." Now the young student's file will refer to the incident as "inappropriate physical contact." And Blackwell says he will continue to fight the district.Nice.
Does this mean I can file a report on the 7 year old here for grabbing my boobs on occasion?
Seriously, people, it's called "curiosity".
CU-RI-OS-I-TY
... not sexual harrassment!
The only thing children are doing is exploring the world around them to learn about it, and it is our job as adults to teach them what they can and cannot do - WE DON'T REPORT THEM; WE TEACH THEM!
Boys don't have boobs - they are curious and want to know what those things are.
A 4 year old IS NOT a sexual predator!
F*cking stupid liberalistic PC bullsh*t is all it is.
As Committees of Correspondence questioned, "maybe Liberals will breed themselves out of the gene pool?"
And, I want to know when this political correctness garbage will peak and go on the decline. I'm getting sick of it.
I thought everyone knew that you should never start out a relationship on a lie, let alone two lies.
But, I guess this chick didn't get the memo since she got caught in her double life lying:
A married woman stole items worth tens of thousands of dollars in a string of burglaries to make her boyfriend think she had a high-paying job, authorities said.Geez, some people will go to any extreme for a little adultery, eh."She told her boyfriend in Coffee County that she had a high-paying job, so all these crimes were committed in trying to keep up with the lie she told him," Warren County Sheriff's Department Capt. Tommy Myers said.
"When we told her boyfriend about what had happened, he was shocked. He was even more shocked to find out she is still married," he said.
Too bad she didn't think to tell her "boyfriend" that she lost her job or quit or something, rather than resorting to robbery to support her high-paying job story.
This one's dumb all around.
Some dude wasn't exactly thinking straight when he decided to climb into his chimney.
I don't know, maybe he was trying to revive the good ol' days of chimney sweeps, or perhaps he was practising to be Santa.
A man who was locked out of his house in this Denver suburb tried to get in by sliding down the chimney early Friday, but he got stuck and had to be rescued, authorities said.I'm sure the main thing bruised was his ego.The man, whose name wasn't released, fell about 12 feet down the shaft. Authorities said he was hurt but did not elaborate on the nature and extent of his injuries.
I want to know what possesses people to do peculiar things like that.
I mean, wouldn't you think it more intelligent to break a window rather than risk getting stuck in a chimney (and, who knows what else could have gone wrong by attempting the chimney thing - bats, chimney collapsing, etc.)?
Duh.
Perhaps this should go out as an anonymous email to all bosses out there.
Most Bosses To Buy Holiday Gifts For Workers
According to a new survey, 56 percent of managers will be spreading holiday cheer around the office this year by giving presents to their employees.You hear that, MR.BIG?The recent survey by CareerBuilder.com and ShopLocal said that one-third of bosses who will purchase gifts plan to spend $10 or less per staff member; bosses expect to spend more than $25 and nearly one in 10 expect to spend more than $50.
Don't be a cheap b*st*rd this year!
Lol, kidding, of course.
There are also tips at that site for gift-giving in the office, if you require the help.
Here's another "tip" you can add to that: after buying the goodies, send it all to Sam.
Some people are taking nude protesting to a hole new level.
And, yes, I meant "hole".
Residents of a small Canadian town are fed up and they are getting naked to prove it.So, what the heck possessed people to think, "gee, I'd really like to get rid of these darn potholes. Hmmm... how can I do that? I know, make a nude calendar."People in Leader, Saskatchewan, are sick of the lousy state of their main road. In an effort to showcase their frustration to the world, residents posed in the buff with something all too familiar to their town: potholes.
The pictures are part of a special calendar designed to alert people to the plight of Leader's highway, Reuters reported.
Twelve local businesspeople posed in various positions for the calendar, revealing their birthday suits alongside some of their favorite potholes.
What kind of mind links the two, lol?
Thanks again, Jim, for sending this piece of news.
They may say he isn't, but he sure is... and so is his mother.
Man Accused of Faking Retardation
For nearly 20 years -- ever since Pete Costello was 8 -- his mother has collected disability benefits on his behalf. In meetings with Social Security officials and psychologists, he appeared mentally retarded and unable to communicate. His mother insisted he couldn't read or write, shower, take care of himself or drive a car.I'm sure this isn't the first case like this, but it's pathetic nonetheless.But now prosecutors say it was all a huge fraud, and they have video of Costello contesting a traffic ticket to prove it.
They say the mother also collected for her daughter, who she claimed also had mental retardation. That's a total of $222,000 over the course of their upbringing; but, they will unlikely be able to get that money back as it is too difficult to prove past events.
I say let them keep the money. They definitely were mental for pulling sh*t like that, lol.
Throw 'em all in jail... better yet, the nuthouse.
As a live-in nanny, short of actually being sick, I really have no excuses I can use to get out of work.
Kinda hard to tell my boss, MR.BIG (also my techie for those unaware), that a raging bull is setting to charge outside my suite door and I can't get out to work.
But, for those who can use various reasons to ditch work, here is a list of the weirdest stories I've heard in a while:
1) Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.I think for some of those, the people were asking to get fired.
2) A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.
3) Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
4) Employee called from his cell phone, said he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and no one was around to let him out.
5) Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.
6) Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.
7) One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.
8) Employee's mother was in jail.
9) A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.
10) Employee had bad hiccups.
11) Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.
12) Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.
13) Employee was hit by a bus while walking.
14) Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.
15) Employee was sad.
I guess I could actually use #5 with all the snow we have here right now.
Lol.
So, have you ever given a bizarre reason for skipping out?
Let us hear it.
I just saw the commercial for the 2006 Billboard Music Awards and got a mini laugh out of it.
Apparently, they're trying to sell the show based on the fact that Janet Jackson will be performing live on it.
They're saying something like, "you never know what's going to happen", referring, of course, to her breast exposure at that football game.
Well, I've got something to say about that...
Whoopy.
We've already seen it. We can see it right now. Again and again.
It's been done. She's old news.
And, I mean old.
The only way it could be topped is with full nudity, and that's something I don't think anyone should be subjected to.
Oh ya, and don't give me that bologna that it was an accident. Nobody puts on pasties without planning to expose them.
I mean nativity.
Hat Tip: 123beta for this news about preposterous PETA .
It seems PETA did something stupid recently - surprise, surprise - as they've mistakenly targeted an Alaska church nativity scene.
The Rev. Jason Armstrong was confused by an e-mail this week from PETA, which admonished him for subjecting animals "to cruel treatment and danger," by forcing them into roles in the church's annual manger scene.A PETA spokesperson whined about how real nativity animals are often mistreated, slaughtered, and some end up getting loose and hit by cars."We've never had live animals, so I just figured this was some spam thing," Armstrong said. "It's rough enough on us people standing out there in the cold. So we're definitely not using animals."
Jackie Vergerio, PETA's captive animals in entertainment specialist, said her organization tracks churches nationwide that use real animals in "living nativity scenes."
I say, mmm... roadkill, gurgle.
Shut the f*ck up PETA. Meat is here on this planet to eat, and if you don't like it, eat your d*mn veggies and shut up.
(ignore the fact that I just said that while being the PERV President)
But, leave it to PETA to confuse people dressed as manger animals for real animals.
Duh.
They're probably just thanking their lucky stars that they didn't blow up the church without substantial proof of some "violation" (na, I'm sure those ignoramuses don't care either way).
Apparently, there are some really nerdy people out there - perhaps as nerdy as Trekkies.
Sad, but true.
These people are Star Wars fanatics who want their beliefs to be acknowledged as a religion by the UN.
They also want today's International Day for Tolerance renamed Interstellar Day of Tolerance.You know, as lame as that is, if it came down to two choices, I'd believe in Star Wars before I believed in Scientology.Umada and Yunyun said: "For the last ten years the United Nations has marked the International Day of Tolerance. While we support this important work, we feel the UN needs to move with the times.
"Like the UN, the Jedi Knights are peacekeepers and we feel we have the basic right to express our religion through wearing our robes, and to be recognised by the national and international community.
Lol.
The "religion" has two names: it can be called either Star Wars or Jedi Knight.
But, I think they should just lump all movie- and tv-based religions into one category and call them all the religion of the nerds. I mean, there have to be some dorks out there who have pulled religious Star Trek values out of their a$$, right?
And, there's also the worship of Matrixism.
Okay, you can stop rolling your eyes now.
But, if you want to see how other religions compare to the Star Wars religion, check out this article: The Force Is With...Everyone
Those are words I never thought I'd see together.
It looks like greenpeace is up to their usual shenanigans as they introduce a Blame Canada video.
The goal of this fraudulent South Park story is to brainwash the youth into thinking trawling in Canada and Spain is wrong.
They've taken on Mel Gibson, Saddam Hussein, Satan and Jesus.I'd be so p*ssed if I was Trey Parker or Matt Stone.Now the potty-mouthed kids from South Park are featured in an online advertisement - and their target is the Canadian government and its opposition to a ban on bottom trawling on the high seas. Greenpeace posted a video spoof online starring Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman, who slam Canada's stance on deep-sea dragging just as a six-day round of talks on sustainable fisheries began at the United Nations.
I mean, I'm pretty certain that they aren't exactly the biggest fans of enviro-weenies. I'm kinda crossing my fingers that they retaliate in a most humourous way.
Kids, if you're reading this, Greenpeace blows... but hopefully you already knew that.
Here's another reason why gaining a professorship is good, and perhaps another reason why I should head back to school for my Ph.D.
Professors win right to toke up at work
The use of medical marijuana has given two Toronto professors the right to something that many students could only dream of – access to specially ventilated rooms where they can indulge in peace.*Cough, cough* yaaa, yaaa, I have a "medical condition", too.The two, at the esteemed University of Toronto and at York University to the north of the city, suffer from chronic medical conditions that some doctors say can be eased by smoking marijuana. They are among nearly 1500 Canadians who have won the right to use the drug for health reasons.
*cough*
Leave it to us good ol' Canadians to find a way to make drug possession legal in school.
I'm just shocked it didn't happen here in BC (British Columbia: pot capital of the world).
And, in other news, I think I may have found a way to pay for my education....
It looks like things will be getting up, I mean looking up for some men out there since lap dances are legal again in Seattle.
The rules, which were struck down by last week's vote, included a requirement that strippers stay at least 4 feet away from customers.I wonder if Seattle is populated by men mostly.
I mean, I'm sure not too many women would care enough to support lap dancing. Well, the strippers would, but I highly doubt other women would care too much.
Oh, and me. I's gotta pay for muh lurnin' somehow.
Eat your heart out PETA, KFC isn't going away anytime soon. In fact, quite the opposite as just yesterday, Colonel Sanders got a makeover.
It wasn't much of a makeover, they just added a red apron to the image, and I think the new image is slightly dorky with that apron, but it's enough to make me happy knowing that it's probably killing PETA right about now.
I'm sure they're plotting their next strategy as we speak, trying to incorporate a red apron into their lame protests.
And, it seems KFC is taking things a step further by ensuring they'll be the fast food of choice for alien life forms: KFC Advertises To Extraterrestrials
The KFC Corp. on Tuesday launched a rebranding campaign with an 87,500 square-foot image of Colonel Sanders in the Nevada desert which the company says makes Kentucky Fried Chicken the world's first brand visible from space.They may be "cuckoo for cocoa puffs", but their chicken's great and they p*ss off PETA."If there are extraterrestrials in outer space, KFC wants to become their restaurant of choice," KFC President Gregg Dedrick said in a statement.[more]
What more do we need?
UPDATE: Committees of Correspondence has more on the topic in his article, The Great Brand Space Race. I wonder how McDonald's plans to top that, too.
Well, when you're naked and the police are after you, you've got to hide your weapon somewhere.
Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum
Passers-by called officers about 7:50 a.m. to report that a naked man was lying on a tree stump beside the Ohlone Greenway path, exposing himself and masturbating.Those wacky Sheehans.Police saw 33-year-old John Sheehan and arrested him on suspicion of indecent exposure.
Officers led him to the nearest street, the 2000 block of Kearney Avenue. Before putting Sheehan in the back of his car, Sgt. Paul Keith asked him if he had anything on him that police should know about.
Sheehan replied that he had hidden a screwdriver in his anal cavity, Horgan said.
That's at least two of them now, that I know of, who have something stuck up their a$$.
I suspect that this guy was not mentally disturbed until Cindy came along. Nowadays, he's probably just plain old mortified that he shares the same last name.
Poor fella.
This has got to be the creepiest haunted house ever.
It seems some teen "punks" wandered into a construction house and came across the Halloween hanging:
When the teens entered the home, they saw what looked like bags hanging from the rafters in the unfinished basement, they shot some BB guns and threw chunks of lumber at it, according to the sheriff's department.I hope this isn't going to turn into some yearly ritual for nuts, or something.
Then they left and came back with a flashlight to discover it was the body of a man hanging from the rafters.
Halloween is creepy enough for some without having to encounter real dead bodies.
Last year, it was a woman dangling in a tree and this year, a guy hanging from the rafters.
I just wonder if the latest incident was enough to scare those kids straight.
It seems underwear wasn't mandatory for our firefighters here before now:
A Canadian city under pressure for alleged sexual harassment within its fire department has ordered firefighters to wear only boxer-style underwear.Seeing as I live in close proximity to the firehalls in question, I volunteer myself to be chief underwear inspector.Richmond, British Columbia will spend C$16,000 ($14,200) to buy six pairs of underwear for each firefighter in a bid to make firehalls in the suburb of Vancouver more gender neutral, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.
Somebody's gotta do it.
And, seeing how this is one of the very few times that I can expose a little male booty for my readers out there, here's the 2006 Firefighter's calendar.
And, here are the ones for next year:
Many of us know about that saying, "the one with the most toys wins", but it's a little ridiculous when those material "toys" become panties and mannequins.
It seems some twisted 23 year old elected to steal women's underwear from dorms.
"Police said that Pascal Lucas, who is an accountant, was arrested on Saturday after being caught breaking into an apartment.I think the dude was just honouring the true meaning of 'panty raid'. And, what's with labeling which apartments they came from?A Marquette graduate, Lucas allegedly had lived in the building and had possession a master key, which is how authorities think he gained access to the apartments, WISC-TV reported.
Officers said that they searched Lucas' home and found plastic bags full of stolen panties all sorted by apartment number."
Was his next step to stalk those women based on their underwear size and proximity, or something?
What I find most odd about this is that it's normal. Panty fetishism is apparently pretty common. Perhaps someone reading this may be sniffing or wearing women's panties at this very moment.
But, what's more disturbing than that 23 year old with his panty thefts is the sock fetish.
Now that's a foul fetish.
I just hope it's not a fetish for dirty socks.
Ew.
And, in other funky fixations, it seems some weirdo keeps getting busted for stealing mannequins.
"Dotson had been out of prison for less than a week when he was caught. His erotic pursuit of mannequins over the past 13 years has led to at least six convictions for breaking and entering and a stint in prison, police said.What he does with them afterwards, I don't want to know."He told his parole officer he was going to buy a mannequin so he didn't have to do these break-ins anymore," said Detective Brendan Moore said. "Apparently that didn't work out."
Cross posted at 123beta's place.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Material Seduction [by 123beta]
Thanks once more goes to Shock and Blog for this enticing news.
Apparently, one Canadian university is heating up for winter with a sex education course:
An undergraduate program at Canada's august University of Toronto offers discussions on flogging, restraint, and role-play, as well as an arts course called "Queerly Canadian." But teachers and students insist it's a serious academic program that isn't simply about sex.Lol, "sexy sex sex"."We'll talk about whips and chains in a political, social, cultural, religious context of sexuality and how that sexuality affects those institutions."
I guess us Canadians are just trying to raise our sex quota for the year seeing as we 'went down' pretty low compared to other countries a few years ago.
Darn it, now where am I going to get the money to go back to school?
Heck, I've got a feeling I'd make for a good prof. of that course. Forget spending the money on the course, I should be getting paid to teach it.
Although... I'm not an expert. I still have plenty of room for learning.
Ya, I don't think I should teach it; I'd probably skip all that sociological mumbo-jumbo and move right into the kinky, perverse stuff. Get right to the meat of the discussions.
But, what I don't get is why they keep saying, "it's not what you think it is".
I mean, we all know academia is dry and asexual inside the classrooms, no matter what the topic at hand is, but what would be so wrong about teaching adult sex education at universities?
I know a lot of people out there who could use a course like that... unfortunately.
You know what, I bet if they made prostitution and other sex trades legal, they could get away with teaching an adult sex ed. course.
Heck, you could probably earn a degree as a professional sexual deviant.
Then, I could really sign my name...
Dr. Samantha Burns, ph.d.
Professor of Doing The Nasty
It seems that bras and non-revealing clothing may be a must in the future at big houses everywhere.
The new jail visitor dress code in Evansville, Indiana states,
Revealing tops are out and bras are now a must for women visiting prisoners at the Vanderburgh County Jail. Jail officials imposed a new dress code policy after several incidents in which women visiting the jail exposed themselves to male prisoners.The new policy, posted at the jail's front desk, states that women cannot wear halter tops, sleeveless dresses and shirts, see-through garments, revealing dresses, and shorts cut higher than 2 inches above the knee.
Spandex and "extremely tight fitting" jeans or pants also are frowned upon.
They can no longer show cleavage to attract a jail date.
Ya right, as if prisoners care; they're just as happy with a hole in the wall or another inmate dropping the soap.
The code also mentions,
"Adult female visitors, as well as females who would have need of a bra, shall be required to wear a bra," the draft policy also states.How are they going to use discretion in determine who requires a bra and who doesn't?
Measure them?
Uh huh, this is probably just a way for security to feel up the visitors.
Looks like urinating in US schools is a whole different problem from peeing in Norwegian ones.
In the states, the issue is that a classroom trash can was used as a toilet during a lockdown drill:
On Tuesday, Frandino gave the Charlestowne Academy students permission to use the trash can. When a girl used the bathroom, other girls held up jackets to shield the view while other students stood on the opposite wall with their backs turned, school district spokesman Jerry Adams said. Boys also did the same for the boy.And, they're supposed to p*ss and sh*t in their pants because you can't find a better way to ensure the students' safety?"It's not acceptable," associate superintendent Patricia Yandle told the newspaper.
Duh.
Besides, it was just a drill, you morons. As if the school administration couldn't bend the rules and allow the teacher to take the kids to the bathroom in such an instance to save the kids the embarrassment.
And, in a real situation, hello... that's when you revert to extremes like peeing in a trash can.
Yes, perhaps the teacher was a little hasty considering the lockdown only lasted an hour and was only a drill, but he did have the sense to contact administration to ask them what he should do. I'm not sure what their response was, but the whole problem could have been avoided by just taking the kids to the can, for gosh sakes.
And, if the teacher were to tell the kids that they had to hold it in and wait for the drill to be over, the next thing you know he'd be sued for allowing the children's bladders to burst, or sued for embarrassing the kids who peed in their pants in front of their peers.
Whatever.
You just can't win.
Can we get this idea up in Canada, please?
If we could, I'd reconsider teaching as a career, lol.
Lawmaker's in Wisconsin call to arm school staff:
A state lawmaker, worried about a recent string of deadly school shootings, suggests arming teachers, principals and other school personnel as a safety measure and a deterrent.Screw political correctness. Start putting smart a$$ kids in their place.It might not be politically correct, but it has worked effectively in other countries, Republican Rep. Frank Lasee said yesterday.
I'm afraid, though, that some jacka$$ teachers would abuse the idea whenever some punk student p*sses them off.
Unfortunately.
But, then again, perhaps there'd be a lot less punk a$$ kids lipping off their elders if instructors brandished weaponry.
What a conundrum!
There may be another unsightly trend on the rise as a company is trying to cure baby baldness by bringing out a line of wigs for infants.
How pitiful does one have to be...?
"At BabyToupee, we don't take ourselves or our products too seriously. In fact, BabyToupees are just the first of many fun products designed to give that special baby a little extra personality and to ensure that parents retain theirs... along with a sense of humour."Ya, who wants to bet that celebrities won't be seeing this as a joke, but instead, a new trendy statement that will do nothing, but embarrass their kids and provide them with a reason to seek therapy later in their lives?
Here's the twisted site: BabyToupee.
And, I thought most people loved to see cute little babies with peach fuzz heads.
Man, that is so tacky.
Previous/Related: Dog F*cking Wigs
It seems a teacher was developing a special lesson plan of her own when she sent obscene stickers home to parents.
Okay, she claims it was an accident and that she didn't realise what was really on the stickers when she printed them off the computer, but still, how does one misinterpret sex positions in the alphabet?
The font depicts male and female stick figures contorting into sexual positions resembling letters of the alphabet.I guess she should just be glad she didn't send home numbers - there'd be a lot of 6 and 9's in that pack.
Previous/Related: It's A Blogosphere Sextravaganza!
And, here's the proof.
It seems some pot plants have been found by a local deputy at a retirement home in Arizona.
A Yavapai County sheriff's deputy patrolling a senior housing development outside Prescott Wednesday spotted a 5-foot-tall marijuana plant growing between two residents' driveways.Uh huh.Deputy Justin Dwyer got out, identified the plant and interviewed the residents, spokeswoman Susan Quayle said. They told the deputy they thought the plant was "just an attractive weed, and they had been watering it because it looked so nice."
Quayle said it appeared the plant was growing wild and probably sprouted from a stray seed. Dwyer told the homeowners he would have to confiscate it and asked them to call deputies if more were found.
Sure there granny, we believe you. A pretty weed, eh.
I'll say.
No, not me. It's not going to be one of those stories.
This one's about a store clerk who decided to use a tactic similar to those who "out" cheque bouncers by taping bad cheques to the cash register.
Instead, this sex store clerk "outed" a sex toy suspect by posting a photo of the sex toy thief on his shop window.
The Erox Lifestyle Centre, on the corner of Vivian and Cuba streets, has caught the eye of passers-by for not the usual reasons after staff put up the photo. A security footage photo features a man who allegedly put the $109.95 sex aid under his hoodie and left the shop without paying. A note above the photo says: "When will he pay for the penis pump he stole?"Lol, sweet.
Now, the man's not only suspected of being a petty criminal, but he's also suspected of having a puny penis.
And, it seems the website contains a few of those suspect photos, as well.
Here's the link to that treasure, although may be NSFW on the top bar of that page: Rogues Gallery at EroxAdult.com.
Anyhow, if the guy would have only participated in this sport instead (scroll down), then perhaps he wouldn't be considered a criminal to this day.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Me Robot [by Planck's Constant]
Here are some more wacky news finds, care of Jim.
At commencement this year at Gallatin High School in Nashville, Tenn., the principal had the valedictorian arrested for trying to make a speech that was reserved for the senior class president.[WTVF-TV (Nashville), 5-24-06]
The b*st*rd! How dare he try to steal someone else's thunder. Oh, the shame, the horror of it all. Won't somebody please think of the children?
The Buffalo (N.Y.) News reported skyrocketing absentee rates at local high schools this spring because of a new district policy that the lowest possible semester grade would be 50, even for those missing every class (meaning that a grade as low as 80 for one semester could be averaged with a no-show 50 to reach the minimum-passing grade of 65). [Buffalo News, 6-9-06]
I would have insisted my parents move to Buffalo if they did this while I was in high school. Woo hoo, skipping school and still passing - what could be better?
Duh. Talk about making a mockery of the education system.
More than 70 children got separated from their parents during the Taste of Chicago festival on June 30, but one 6-year-old boy was still unclaimed as of July 7, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, citing a police spokesperson. The boy was eventually turned over to the state Department of Children and Family Services, which found that his family had a spotty record of supporting him even before the festival. [Chicago Sun-Times, 7-8-06]
Hmmm... now where did I put that child of mine?
Hey, we're missing Johnny, where's Johnny? Oh well, he'll show up somewhere.
So, why is it again that we can't enforce a child-bearing application form to parents?
A former police official and current aggressive, respected Wellington, New Zealand, litigator, Rob Moodie, 67, said in July that he is tired of the old-boy network of male lawyers and judges, and that henceforth he will show his disdain by dressing in women's clothes in court. The worse the "corruption" he senses, the frillier will be his outfits, said the married father of three, who also said he happens to like women's clothes, but that it took the pervasive male courthouse culture to bring that into the open. Moodie said already he has enjoyed giving "a flash of lace at the urinal" but said he would keep his trademark moustache. [The Dominion Post (Wellington), 7-25-06]
Some people will use any excuse to go cross-dressing.
I don't know if I'd want him representing me, however. Don't know about you, but he doesn't seem like someone I'd take seriously.
Thanks Jim.
You heard me, I said dog wigs!
Apparently, this is one woman's dream job... supplying wigs to canines.
The wig maker, who has worked with stars such as Jackie Gleason, Judy Garland and Marisa Tomei, is now designing hairpieces for dogs -- braids, curls, and extensions that can be dyed, highlighted and styled to order for pampered pets.The creator states that the wigs are "good for any dog that wants to feel sexy."
Ya, 'cause my dogs always suffered with the belief that they weren't sexy enough.
What's next?
Doggy tummy tucks?
Tail implants?
Puppy penis pumps?
Oh, and surprise, surprise, she hasn't sold any yet.
I guess Paris Hilton hasn't heard that she can now decorate her living, furry accessories.
It's only a matter of time before this becomes some f*cked up celebrity fad.
What was that saying... stupid is as stupid does?
Well, these French men are about as stupid as they come.
Spanish police have arrested four Frenchmen for jumping in front of cars on a busy road so that they could film them and post the footage on the Internet, the newspaper El Pais said Tuesday.Believe me when I say I would not stop for dumb f*cks like that.The four jokers took turns to leap in front of cars, forcing the drivers to swerve or brake sharply and putting themselves and other vehicles in danger, town hall officials in Alicante were quoted as saying on the El Pais Web site.
Their intention was to film the reaction of drivers, on the road between Benidorm to La Nucia, and post them on the Web, the officials said.
So, which do you think they'll win first: the Darwin Awards for being stupid and dead, or will they acquire Web fame?
My vote's on the former.
But, you know, those dweebs won't be alone in their apparent quest for fame and death because it seems this is becoming quite an idiotic trend:
Relatively rare in Spain, a youth craze known as “happy slapping? took off in Britain last year, in which groups of teenagers slapped or mugged strangers while filming the victims’ reaction on camera phones. The images were then sent to friends or posted on Web sites.I don't know about you, but there are just some things I won't do to gain 10 seconds of notoriety. Like, uh, tempt fate and pretty much ask for my own funeral.
Knobs.
Some f-ing sick a$$ of a teacher in Australia is in hot water recently after allegedly making leud comments and having sex with one of his students.
The teacher, 39, is believed to have made numerous text messages to the 15 year old teen, suggesting that he intended to do it again.
Text messages found by police from Hayes to the girl show his desire to have sex with her againYes, disgusting, and another thing about this story that's repulsive is the mother's role in the whole situation.He tells her "U looked very 'do-able' this morning in 105".
Another says, "Smile. Uniform. Hint of CLEAVAGE!"
A message sent before the event says "Sexydreams my sexy horny schoolgirl xxx".
In another, he describes ejaculating on himself and says "I wish I could kiss you".
The girl told police her mother disapproved of her contact with the teacher.I'm afraid that just doesn't cut it for me when it comes to mothering."Mum had met Mr Hayes at a Year 10 VCE information night so when she found out I was MSN chatting with him she said that it wasn't appropriate," the girl's police statement says.
If you don't approve of something your child is doing, then stop them from doing it as best you can. Don't just say, "I don't think that's a good idea" and leave it alone.
Take the d*mn computer away if you can't get the kid to stop.
Geesh.
Do anything; just don't play ignorant.
It seems some idiot thief thought a great robbery would include wearing women's panties on his head as a mask.
A man in Prairie Village, Kan., was videotaped wearing women's underwear over his face as a mask during the robbery of a popular candy store, according to a Local 6 News report.But, I don't know what's dumber: the fact that he wore the undie mask or that he robbed a frickin' candy store.Surveillance video from Laura's Little Chocolates showed the burglar breaking into a door and then opening a cash register.
Ya, it's still the ginch, but robbing a candy shop is pretty lame too.
After the panty-wearing man grabbed some cash, he was then videotaped stealing about 8 pounds of chocolate pecan fudge from the business.Hey, at least he was smart enough not to wear a g-string.Police were surpised by the man's mask.
That would kinda ruin the element of concealment, eh.
I just wonder if the ones he wore were new or used.
No, wait, scratch that. I don't want to know.
Sure pelicans are really cool birds, what with their ability to mix cement in their mouths and all.
And, isn't it so neat how they can capture a whole mouthful of water and fish, and just chug it all down.
Apparently, though, not all pelicans are shining beacons of light amongst the bird population.
Take, for instance, Crash, the female pelican, who decided to get blitzed out of her gourd off of domoic algae, then stagger above the streets until she came crashing down into an SUV windshield.
But, as drunk and rowdy as the throttle jockey can get, ol' Crash decided it was time to head into rehab. Clean up her act. Perhaps... perhaps change her ways and improve her life.
Okay, actually she went into rehab to fix her pouch and a broken foot, but you get the point.
Anyhow, Crash did get fixed up.
She's a purdy ol' gal now, and she's been released into the wild once more.
We have only to wait and see the outcome of her life-altering decision: will she fly or will she flounder in a sea full of sinful temptations?
You go girl. You go.
It seems some nutjob of a stripper has skipped her court appearance for illegal possession of human remains.
The stripper kept a severed hand and some skulls in her house, and apparently she even named the hand "Freddy".
Leipow, Kay's former roommate, said the hand was a gift from a medical student who liked her dancing. Kay's mother told The Star-Ledger of Newark she believed the skulls were bought from a mail order catalog.Her roommate is also charged with psycho acts after he allegedly held up their other roommate with guns and knives and threatened her life.
To avoid court, the roommate also threatened to end his life by way of hammercide:
Kay was charged last week after someone called police and reported that McDonough was suicidal and threatening to kill himself with a hammer.Just how does one kill oneself with a hammer?
Bonk!
I mean, isn't it impossible to continue beating yourself repetitively enough to get the job done?
Nonetheless, I guess I should be thanking these two wackos for reminding me why I should never get myself a roommate.
It seems that when you are in Vegas, just about anything goes.
And, by "goes", I really mean "goes".
As it stands, a person is literally able to urinate, defecate, or vomit in public because an ordinance in Las Vegas banning "immodest, improper or indecent behavior" does not include the leakage of bodily wastes.
"You want to urinate anywhere you want in the city, feel free to do it," Mayor Oscar Goodman told the newspaper in disgust. "My understanding is there won't be any criminal prosecution."However, until a new ordinance is drafted, the city is considering labelling the urination under the "'filthy fluids' law originally intended to ban oil dumping as a stopgap measure".
So, be warned all you Vegas partiers out there. Get your p*ssing and puking in before it's too late.
In other defecating news, it seems there is an uprising in San Diego after the city installed a pontoon potty that floats in the city's reservoir:
The S.S. Relief -- a hut-type, two-seat outhouse on a floating platform -- was anchored about 70 yards from the shore so boaters could answer nature's call without having to dock.Residents are complaining that it is an eyesore, and they would like the city to remove the Poo-Poo Pontoon.
In addition to the obvious "aesthetic abomination," the reservoir residents cite the fact that the loo is floating in the drinking water of thousands of San Diego residents. What if it tips, they ask.However, the city argues that the 'floatie' is stable and that it would take a Category 5 hurricane to tip the structure.
That, to me, is one sturdy, turdy station.
Apparently, a 21 year old doofus insulted the judicial system in the US when he falsified retarded information on his jury duty form.
He wrote that he was on heroin and that he had killed a person:
Ratliffe filled out a questionnaire form for potential jurors and professed to having a "bad jonesin' for heroin." When asked if he had ever fired a weapon, he wrote, "Yes. I killed someone with it, of course. Right."The kid (because he certainly doesn't deserve to be called a "man") stated that he lied to get out of the jury pool in a death penalty case.
Ratliffe doesn't believe in the death penalty and wanted to be excused from the trial, said his attorney, Scott Weisman.What a dumb idiot.
You know, if he would have just waited it out and filled out the form correctly, he probably wouldn't have even been selected in the first place because he was so young.
But, what I also think is stupid, is that the judge dismissed the kid's charges against him, and added,
"He didn't try to defend his responses, and he lied under oath and he was insubordinate," said Lynch, who ultimately removed Ratliffe from the jury pool and dismissed the charges against him. "You do not make a mockery of the process."So... what did the kid learn again?
That if you lie to the courts and are insubordinate, you can get away with anything?
The kid got exactly what he wanted; he got out of jury duty, and all he had to pay for that was a night in a local jail.
Boo hoo.
Talk about rough justice!
Tar and feather him, that's what I say (a process that once befell those who were considered insufficiently patriotic). Sounds appropriate, don't it?
Some open trackbacks: third world county, The Dumb Ox, imaginekitty, Conservative Cat
It seems Stanislaus County in Patterson, California has a little bird flipper on their hands.
Little 4 year old, Matthew Burgos, apparently fingered a crowd at the county Apricot festival, and now he's being stripped of his Mr. Apricot crown.
Good grief, he's frickin' 4 YEARS OLD!
He probably doesn't even know what the f*ck he did; he's just imitating an action he saw some adult do. And, they're going to take a crown away from a frickin' 4 year old for doing something insignificant like that.
Imbeciles.
They deserved being flipped off, lol.
Lol, I don't know about you, but something about a gang leader wearing a pink jumpsuit and fluorescent red wig doesn't exactly strike fear into me.
Apparently, New Orleans roughnecks come in the form of a flamboyant transvestite gang that wanders the streets and looks for the finest fashion to raid.
“They’re fearless,? said Ogle. “Once they see something they like they won’t stop until they have it. They don’t care, they’ll go to jail. It’s really gotten bad. You know it’s ridiculous when everyone on the block knows who they are.?Geez, people, I'm sure there is a very simple strategy to disband this "motley" crew.
Like, say, get a bunch of women to start flirting with/hitting on the drag queens.
That ought to make them run away... and fast!
Some open trackbacks: Common Folk Using Common Sense, Freedom Watch, Tor's Rants, imaginekitty, Conservative Cat, Blue Star Chronicles
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
TUESDAY'S BEST OPEN POST [by Freedom Watch]
A man tried to prove to his girlfriend that marriage is a good thing, worthy of the risks involved.
He tried to prove it by running through the streets naked:
A marriage-minded man ran naked through his neighborhood, trying to show his hesitant girlfriend that taking risks is important.But, the guy somehow ended up losing his persuasive argument when he nearly got his a$$ shot off:
The man responded that taking risks is an important part of life and, to prove his point, jumped out of a first-floor window and ran naked across the street.If you're at all like me, you're probably wondering how stupid this guy was for running around naked, or perhaps how dumb the gunman was for shooting without legal cause, using a concealed weapon.Before he could return, he spotted a couple walking and hid in some bushes to avoid them. A 28-year-old man noticed the bushes rustling and bare feet underneath, then drew a .40-caliber handgun and ordered the naked man out, police said.
The naked suitor ran away, but the armed man gave chase and threatened to shoot, police said. The gunman fired a shot and the naked man fell to the ground, suffering minor injuries.
And, if you read the title, you may be wondering what I meant by it all.
This sort of thing wouldn't happen in Canada, not because we are completely rational and would never do something so idiotic as run out of a window naked onto the street.
No, we'd do that for sure.
Nightly, if possible.
No, this thing wouldn't happen in Canada because we don't carry handguns.
A hunting rifle's the only way to go up here.
And another thing, when we take aim - what with all our bears and beasties - we shoot to kill and rarely ever nick 'em.
A naked targets, though, that had to be fun. I would have aimed for his "wee", lol.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
NOT A HAPPY CAMPER TODAY [by Freedom Watch]
I'm getting to like this Home Depot business, not for the shopping (h*ll no, I'll tell you about that one later), but for the ridiculous stories they come out with.
I've written in the past about Home Depot's "man glued to a toilet" story.
This time it's drugs found in a cabinet:
Drugs have been discovered in cabinets purchased at Home Depot stores in Massachusetts five times in the past week.I'd say, if this is a prank, it's a pretty expensive one, but I'm sure it isn't. But, if it was a place for someone to hide/transport their pot temporarily, they got screwed, lol.In the latest case, police said a contractor in Southwick found 40 pounds of marijuana and 3 kilograms of cocaine inside a bathroom cabinet he was installing.
It was estimated that the stash was worth $250,000.
I wonder how many cabinets full of the stuff weren't reported, heh heh.
I can imagine the investigation now:
Officer comes to the door: "Sir, in our investigation, I noticed you bought a cabinet from the local Home Depot. Did you find anything unusual about your package?"Dude: "Whoa, dude, did you know your head's, like, purple, man?"
Officer: "Sir, I'll need you to come with me."
Dude: "Whoa, I'm floating, dude. Gnarly. You gotta try this stuff, man. It's the sh*t!"
Officer: "Sir, just come with me."
... or was that wee pee?
Yes, now you have the (mis)fortune of watching Pee Wee's Playhouse again as it returns to the Cartoon Network.
And, while we're on the topic, you can visit Pee Wee's Playhouse online. Visit it every day, I do... not.
Hey, didn't that guy wack off in a theatre?
Heh.
If this is the funniest joke in the world, then that's pretty sad.
Apparently, there was an online study done five years ago to research which was the funniest joke on earth.
This happened to be the winning joke:
Two hunters are out in the woods in New Jersey when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.No, this is not the funniest, if you ask me.The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps 'My friend is dead! What can I do?' The operator says: 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says 'OK, now what?'
If you know jokes at all, or "get" them in any way, then you know this one's not so great simply because you know the punchline before you even get to it.
I don't know about you, but I saw that ending coming a mile away, and that makes for a pretty lame joke.
When you see it coming, it's just not laughable.
At least, not for me, it isn't.
Now, this... this is funny. I just wish I had a video or audio of it:
Monty Python's: The Funniest Joke in the World.
But, if you want some Monty Python audio to other stuff, go here.
Here's more on the study.
There are so many things a parent can do to be the world's perfect parent.
One of those things would have to be leaving your kid at a Chuck E. Cheese overnight.
Sure, society tells us that it's bad to leave kids accidentally and that you should always know where your children are at all times, but come on, this is Chuck E. Cheese we're talking about.
A 6-year-old Florida boy who was accidentally left behind by his family after they celebrated his birthday at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant will temporarily remain in state custody.Aw, seriously.
What kid wouldn't want to be left there overnight?
Heck, the state should be giving these parents an award, not taking the child into custody.
You know, if I remember correctly, I went to a Chuck E. Cheese once.
I repeat, once!
Linked to Plancks Constant, imaginekitty, Freedom Watch, Common Folk Using Common Sense
Here are some more teachers in the news.
Somehow, this 44 year year old teacher managed to allegedly have sex with a 16 year old while on a field trip.
And, she's not even going to be charged with statutory rape because the kid just turned 16.
Everyone seems to be getting in on this disgusting fad as another teacher, Shanikka Campbell, turned herself in for having a sexual relationship with a 16 year old.
What's with the number 16? Age of consent a turn on or something?
This one has to do with an alleged dumba$$ drunk teacher who showed up for work sloshed.
I guess that's one way to deal with those little sh*ts.
But, he did a stupid drunken thing by touching the butt and thigh of one 13 year old student and made sexual comments to another 13 year old.
Ew, creepy old man alert.
And, lastly (for this article, anyhow), there's the teacher, Bonnie Sue Davis, who has been accused of having sex with a 14 year old special education student.
She was also allegedly caught in bed with two boys by one of the boys' mother.
Geez, let her go if she has that much ingenuity. Handcuffed Woman Drives Off In Cruiser
A woman waiting to be booked into the county jail drove off in the arresting officer's police cruiser, still wearing handcuffs, then bailed out and made a run for freedom.That's funny, this story is so interesting that the news forgot to report what she was arrested for in the first place.
Seriously, that deserves some credit, lol.
Well, now you can for a simple fee.
It has been reported that
"the women in the industry take pride in their jobs and often get "sexually excited" by their own dirty work."Shouldn't that read the women, men with girlish voices, and grannies with youthful voices?
Oh sure, they claim that phone sex operators aren't
"really bored old hags who file their nails while talking filthy."... but we all know the truth.
Even the elderly, ugly, and possibly the manly can be aroused by dirty talk, you know.
I'm sure I'll still be going strong by 90... not that you needed to know that or anything.
But, they say it's not the easiest job in the world.
Sure, it's nothing as simple as brain surgery or rocket science. That's a chimp's work.
A good phone sexer has to be open-minded about some strange requests. For instance, Austin [a phone sex operator] knows a man who likes to pretend he's shrinking her down to two inches in height for sex.For those who aren't aware, this is a real fetish called microphilia.
And, if you can handle a little oddness, this Not Safe For Work website shows you just what the fetish is all about.
But, you know, after researching it, I've found that Canadians aren't that shy when it comes to phone sex.
More than one-third of Canadians (36 per cent) admitted to having intimate phone conversations with a close friend or partner.My apologies, Samantha is not available for comment.
;-D
Mark McGovern, the man who got p*ss a$$ drunk, literally on a flight to Washington has been sentenced to 7 months in prison for his actions.
Last November, McGovern caused the airline flight to be diverted after he began peeing in the aisle and lighting a cigarette.
Maybe the alarm clock incident in the airport scared the p*ss out of him.
Oh. Oh, ya. That was 2 separate incidents.
Actually, McGovern is believed to have been drunk at the time of his interuption since he has been told to head to alcohol rehab after his sentencing.
The alarm clock incident, on the other hand (get it... hand, like hands of a clock... hoo boy, that was bad) happened in China.
An alarm clock that went off in an airline passenger's bag caused panic at an airport in the Chinese city of Guangzhou.Lol, the owner was allowed to board as long as she promised that it wouldn't go off again.The alarm went off just as the luggage passed through an X-ray machine, causing passengers and airport staff at Baiyun International Airport to scatter, China Daily reported Tuesday.
Hey, at least she didn't have to promise that she'd stop time before boarding.
Ya, I don't know about you, but that's one place I wouldn't be dozing off in.
Man falls asleep in coffin at funeral home.
Transient, or not, I'm sure the guy could have found a better place to take a snooze.
Heck, I'd sleep on the ground before I risked it in a funeral home coffin.
But, perhaps the guy realised he was out of luck after trying to get a decent nap at a Mall of America store that sells naps by the minute.
Yes, apparently, some joker thought they could run a business selling naps in the mall for 70 cents per minute.
The store only stayed in business for 6 months.
No sh*t, eh.
But, the fool who started the store isn't giving up so easily. He's going to try to pawn off his idea in a snooty upscale neighbourhood in Minneapolis.
I don't know about you, but I don't see too many Upchucks, I mean Starbucks drinkers heading on over to napland for a little shuteye.
Dude, they're wired from their trendy coffee, they aren't likely to require a quick catnap.
Okay, let's just say I don't think this business owner is the brightest star in the sky.
Okay, not really, but it has become the most popular Hollyweird fad since Scientology and the South Beach Diet.
Apparently, the Da Vinci Code isn't just a movie, and it isn't just a book, it's also a potential Hollywood fad religion.
Opus Dei is perfect. Thanks to the fervor over “The Da Vinci Code,?, this close-knit Catholic movement is the only fringe religious group that is also a household name.The author of the article believes that the religion has 3 things that make it perfect for celebrity worship: visibility (everyone and their dog knows about the frickin' movie, hence the religion), exclusivity (there are presently only 3000 Opus Dei members), and controversy ("because Opus Dei is so strict, a celebrity practitioner is allowed nearly limitless finger-wagging opportunities").
And, I must add my own here.
The Da Vinci Code has one more thing that trumps Scientology and other pseudo-religious movements: a dietary regimen.
Ya, it has a d*mned diet... so to speak.
Now you can be a trendy renaissance goddess, or god, simply by following the Da Vinci Code Diet.
The diet is based on the principles of the traditional Mediterranean diet, meaning it is replete with whole grains, protein, and fresh fruits and vegetables.Uh... sounds pretty close to the standard 5 basic food groups to me.
And people are making money off this?
But, all in all, I think I have to see the movie (prefer to rent if I must) simply because Syed Soharwardy is against it.
You know, the freak in Canada who had a conniption over the Danish cartoon publication in the Western Standard.
Bah, what am I saying, even then I won't waste my money.
Nothing beats a Friday than one with a little RCMP gay lovin'.
I really can't top Shock and Blog's wording on this story, so I'm really persuading you to go there and read it for yourself.
But, I said I'd give it a shot at making the funny with this story, so here goes. I apologise now to those whom I offend - all merely in good fun even if it is a little raunchy and in bad taste.
On a Friday night in Yarmouth this June, Const. Jason Tree and Const. David Connors will don their scarlet dress uniforms, stand before family, friends and co-workers and wed in the first same-sex marriage in the RCMP’s storied history.Well, it was only a matter of time, I guess.
But, you know, the RCMP is going to have to stop serving and protecting since they apparently are doing more servicing and injecting.
Boo, ouch, that one sucked.
Okay, here's more.
Hey, at least they have the handcuffs. Perhaps the romance started with a little handcuff teasing in the locker room.
Okay, that one wasn't so bad.
Here they come to save the gays!
Ya, that was just stupid.
But, I guess these mounties can stop riding horses. I mean, they've got each other for that now.
Now, here's where it gets really bad...
Will this dynamic duo have new duties while on the force?
Will they be responsible for catching new criminals?
Perhaps they can catch the arse bandits or investigate sh*tstabbings.
See, told you this would be bad. Can't say I didn't warn you.
But, seriously, go check out Shock and Blog, who was funny, much cleaner than mine, and has the link to the full article.
This man loves to give, especially to women on his desk.
The manager of a charitable fundraising enterprise in Davenport has been fired for alleged financial mismanagement, drug use and having sex with a woman on his desk.Apparently, the man, Chris T. Coppinger, was fired after he was caught with $1000 in cash and cheques in his office, as well as a condom and a jar of urine.
To make matters worse, it was alleged that while he was in the building, he would smoke pot, drink, have porn on his computer, have sex with someone on his desk, and he ordered a 15 year old co-worker to piss in a jar.
How does one get to such a position in life (although not an extremely high one) when they're clearly not deserving it?
Plus, how freaky was this guy to keep a jar of a 15 year old girl's urine?
He sounds like he has more than just one screw loose.
But, what I want to know is why this guy hasn't been thrown in jail for keeping a kid's piddle in his office? Or, at least toss him into a mental institution.
I just hope that jar wasn't used to quench his thirst.
Ew.
[more]
(I apologise, my scheduled items didn't publish when they were supposed to and my technical igor, MR.BIG, dropped the ball on posting it for me... at least these are my excuses and I'm sticking to it)
Now, back to This Guy's Loaded
Or, at least his diaper bag is.
Apparently, a man thought it would be a good idea to go for a leisurely stroll with a teenager and a baby while he did his drug dealing.
"About nine grams of marijuana were confiscated from Matthew Rowand, 22, of Albert Lea, and about 71 grams were confiscated from a baby bag being held by the juvenile female. The charges carry a maximum penalty of 25 years in prison and a $35,000 fine."Well, with a baby and a minor involved, I'd say the guy deserves at least that.
Ha ha.
So, let's take votes, was this the teen girl's father, boyfriend, or pimp?
My vote's on boyfriend due to the leisurely stroll together with their lovely "crack" baby and its pot filled diaper bag.
How sweet.
Really makes you have faith in society's future, eh.
It seems some Georgian woman gains an overflow of pleasure from her odd hobby: she collects outhouses.
Janie Peel, I'm sure, is stinkin' happy when she comes across an outhouse for the collection she has in her backyard.
Her newest addition is a 2 seater toilet that took 3 men to lift it.
Peel's words of wisdom on the matter...
"It has a lot of character. You have to wonder about the conversations that might have taken place in there."Well, I don't know about you, but it's not everyday that I make pleasantries with the person in the potty next to me.
"Ya, weather's pretty cr*ppy today, isn't it?"
No, thanks. I'd prefer to mind my own business while doing my business.
Previous/Related:
Gallery of outhouses
Man stuck in stall
It seems a robber in London has been jailed for 4 years after he was convicted of attempted poop snatching.
A year ago, the robber tried to rob a lady by knife point, but was forced to flee without his "prize" because the bag he was after contained dog feces.
That was probably the sh*ttiest bungled robbery of his life.
The mugger-drug addict, David Carlisle, was told by the woman that the bag she had was full of her pet's poop, so "he fled empty-handed".
What I'd like to know is why she would say anything to the guy.
I'd gladly give him the cr*p, and then I'd be the one with the last laugh as he reaches in for his loot, only to come out with a hand full of poop.
Another classic poop caper.
Well, I can't start my return off without a weird toilet story, so here goes.
What I want to know is if there's a toilet seat glue bandit going around or something because this is at least the third time I've heard a story like this.
A man got his butt glued to a toilet seat in a Walmart bathroom.
"The man had gone into the bathroom and sat down," she said. "He was banging on the wall when the employee came in."I remember writing about something like this last year with a man glued to a Home Depot display toilet.
And, I've read about the same sort of thing at a Denny's restaurant in the same town as the Walmart incident.
Hey, at least the guy in the Denny's was in the right place at the right time. I mean, you know how that food goes right through ya, lol.
Perhaps there's a new product out there called Bum Bond, Gluteus Glue, or perhaps Posterior Paste that's intriguing punks to pull a stupid stunt like that.
Anyhow, if they caught the criminal "mastermind" behind the behind bondage, what would they charge him with? Serial Butt Assault with the intent to adhere?
What frickin' thrill is it, anyhow, for this nutjob (assuming it's the same person) to go around putting glue on toilet seats?
Hyuck, hyuck, someone's going to get stuck.
Whatever.
Now this is a big stink I could back up.
It seems a couple near Cincinnati are protesting the government's decision that disallowed them to put up a 6 ft tall fence around their backyard because of what seems to be wishy-washy laws.
Their retaliation to the decision led them to put up a large display of toilets, toilet brushes, and several appalling ornaments around their backyard.
Here is their website with plenty of description and photos of the home.
Ugh, look at that backyard, eh. That's just awful. Please, give them their d*mn fence already.
So, with all the toilets at their protest, I wonder if there will be lots of squatters, too.
You know, I would like to make a contribution to the cause. I'm sure my protest "movement" could get the government to change their minds.
Just let me eat some beans first.
I get a lot of hits for this article, but I don't think it's exactly what they're looking for when they come to this blog. So, I thought I'd bring it to the front and really tick some people off, lol.
Okay, you people want some Canadian news?
Lol, here goes.
It seems a Canadian millionaire bachelor decided to leave all his money upon his death to his cat named Red.
David Harper, reclusive owner of $1.3 million, worked much of his life as a gardener in public service.
What will happen with kitty and the money?
"The United Church of Canada will administer the funds, in accordance with Harper's will, and be responsible for the three-year-old cat's care, feeding and veterinarian bills for the rest of its life, the newspaper reported."
Okay, if that's what a gardener makes, I'm switching jobs.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Vacation Stuff [by 123beta]
Yes, the man who used himself as target practise while teaching a class about gun safety is back in the news.
Lee Paige was the laughing stock of the internet a while back (written about with video link here), and he is now upset about it. He's trying to sue the DEA who he says leaked the video.
The lawsuit complaint says that he "is the target of jokes, derision, ridicule, and disparaging comments."
Well, I should hope so. He made an a$$ of himself.
Dude, you were not being very safe for performing a safety lesson. You know, boo hoo if people are laughing because you acted the fool.
How about getting a backbone and laugh along with them for your stupidity?
If nothing else, this is a worldwide lesson that you taught us about not being idiots around weapons.
You've served your purpose.
You go now.
Walmart is apparently suing a website for selling t-shirts with the logo WAL*OCAUST and a smiley face on it, claiming that the image is a warped version of their own.
The website owner's opinion, however, is that this is a matter of free speech.
The guy states he's made a total of $5.10 off the t-shirt sales.
Woo hoo, Walmart. Feel like a tough guy now? Tryin' to take down a site worth 5 bucks.
Whatever.
Quite frankly, I don't see the resemblance, and even if I did, I don't see what's wrong with it.
What? Does Walmart own the rights to the "Wal" or to the smiley face symbol?
If so, yahoo'd better watch out with their smileys or they could be next for frick sakes.
Personally, I don't even find the t-shirt logo amusing to bother freaking out about it like Walmart did. What the genocide of human life has to do with low prices is beyond me.
Even the site's explanation sounds retarded to me, so whatever.
Here's the site: www.walocaust.com.
And, on to more amusing Walmart fun, check out Tramp's Riverbank for some really excellent things to do when you're bored at Walmart.
One of my favourites: "Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme," but they're all good, so really, I can't decide.
You are searching for hooters, huh? Naughty naughty! I've decided to be nice to my readers and I've found a non-scam site where you can view your "needs". Just follow the link link here. Now back to the article...
Apparently, Hooters is not just about tits, I mean food.
It seems that a former Hooters assistant manager, Jarman Gray, is considering a lawsuit after being fired for complaining about a corporate trainer who was encouraging staff to perform sexual favours for higher tips.
It all started when a visiting training manager came to Gray's restaurant and told waitresses,
"you are the ones with the pussies and you are in control because of that. If you need the exrta money, go ahead and suck a dick or fuck a customer if the money is right".Those must be the cheapest prostitutes around if they'll do it for tips, lol.
Ick.
Hooters must really be hard up for cash if they're resorting to the sex trade.
And, although his complaint sounds appropriate, the manager was fired for confronting the corporate head about the issue, and was told by the franchisee,
"I'm top dog, you don't call corporate. You no longer have a job here".I guess you can't expect them to have morality all of a sudden. Look at what they're selling...
here's a hint, it's not about the food.
(as if you didn't know)
It's young love... literally.
Recently, a school teacher, Pamela Rogers, who was behind bars for 6 months for having sex with a 13 year old (released early for good behaviour), has been arrested again for violating her probation by communicating with the victim.
What, so are you saying she didn't meet anyone special while she was locked up?
I guess her "good behaviour" only applies to inside the prison.
What I don't get is women like her and
Debra Lafave makin' it with juveniles when they don't look like mud, they could actually get sex with just about any adult guy (and probably some gals), anytime they wanted.
Unless, of course, they liked the boys for their intelligent minds. Intelligent, that is, compared to their own minds.
But, there are some student rapists out there who perhaps wouldn't get as good a chance with grown men, at least, not by the looks of it. Like Rachel L. Holt, who was charged with having sex with a 13 year old 28 times. Or, Tori Lynn Woods who's serving 8 years for sleeping with 4 students under 16 years old.
So, why go for a little one who has no experience? Perhaps, it's the thrill of breaking the law; perhaps it's because they're not all there in the mind.
Plus, how are these obviously dense people getting jobs as teachers? And, isn't there some sort of course on what not to do as a teacher?
Something like, Don't Sleep With Your Student 101 or How To Refrain From Boinking Junior 101.
All I can say is Blech!
For more information, this article attempts to explain the f*cked up fad.
What not to do with 600 kids:
It seems a Texas elementary school was recently faced with 600 students and not a single working toilet in the whole school.Well, that's the sh*ts.
And, while plumbers worked on the situation, the teachers ended up busing the kids in shifts to nearby schools, allowing the kids to use their bathrooms, then they headed back to the school.
Uhhh... why not just call it a day?
What not to do as a teacher:
It seems that in New York, a teacher has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child after giving the student a wedgieNow that's discipline!
My parents got the strap. I got a talkin' to.
And, this generation gets melvined.
Finally, what not to do - EVER:
"A teacher who kept a 40-mm artillery shell on his desk as a paperweight blew off part of his hand when he apparently used the ammunition to try to squash a bug"I can picture it now...
buzzzzzzz...
Buzzzzzzz....
(guy picks up ammo)
Smash.
KABOOM!
buzzzzzzz.... buzzzzz...
Crap.
Thanks to MacStansbury.org for this link and for implying that he's suggesting something, even though he wasn't suggesting anything (it'll make sense in a bit).
It seems Playboy is featuring pictures of women from a Canadian university, McGill.
McGill university is known for its party life, hence the Playboy porno magazine has named it one of the top schools for partying.
Well, looks like I went to the wrong university.
Mine was all dull and educationy.
And, McGill has recently been in Canadian news for a hazing incident using a broomstick and a butt (I'll let you make the connection).
And, a university spokesperson stated,
"If we have a reputation as a party school, it's because the media is giving us one."Ya, I don't think so. The hazing happened long before the media ever cared about you.
Anyhow, MacStansbury.org sent me the link with the statement,
"it's Canadian. that would be the only reason I'm sending it to you.Uh huh, sure. You know, I might have contemplated it years ago when I first started university, but my school was definately not a party school.just...because you're Canadian.
not implying anything.
just so we're clear."
A polar opposite, rather.
But, all this porn talk has got my mind rolling. Playboy could do a hot blogger's issue.
Ya, most of us have too much self-respect to pose in one of those - thinking our minds are more valuable/significant than the physical - but, with the right amount of money, I'm sure Playboy could sway a few bloggers to pose.
Just a thought.
This is one of those "now why didn't I think of that" articles.
At least, for some people it will be.
It seems there have been some wealthy New Yorkers getting noticed in the headlines for advertising rent-free occupancies for women who will exchange sexual favours.
Some ads include,
"Take care of my needs and live rent free"and
"all I'm looking for is an attractive, playful, and submissive woman who is uninhibited to my proposal... substituting rent for sexual encounters".
A deputy warned, though, that this is comparable, and perhaps exactly like prostitution.
"It is illegal to trade or solicit sex for monetary consideration or other consideration."
Talk about wiping out the need for a relationship or marriage.
I guess they get what they want for the short term, eh, as long as it's not chlamydia, AIDS, or the like.
I can't imagine that being a long term living arrangement, or else they'd call it marriage.
Whatever.
Want your name in lights? How 'bout your face?
Now you can be the star of McDonalds as they've started a casting call to find some faces to put on their products.
Yes, you can have that McDonalds look (and, I don't mean the greasy, pimply look you typically get from their food) by going to globalcasting.com and submitting your picture along with a story that captures that 'I'm lovin' it' essence.
Apparently, the offer's available to over 100 countries and about 25 winners will be selected.
Some marketing strategy, eh.
But, if you're going to do this, make sure you let us know so that we can make fun of you. I mean, support you in any way possible.
Thinking about this, I'm quite surprised they're doing this campaign because they're known for changing their slogan so frequently. I figured they were already overdue for a new slogan change, but instead they're running the same old one.
Perhaps they're running out of ideas.
Now, I'll just be waiting for them to run out of business.
Ya, I'm not quite a fan of their McBarfy meals.
It seems the lawmakers in Illinois are pushing things a bit closer to legalising solicited sex.
The law is intended to give hookers the ability to sue the pimps and johns who attack them.
The state Senate approved the bill Thursday. It now goes to the Illinois House, which has OK'd similar legislation in the past.Well, perhaps if their goal is to bust more pimps than usual, then they should consider other ways of nabbing them.The measure's backers note that pimps are largely out of the reach of the law. About 3,200 hookers were arrested in Chicago last year. But supporters of the legislation say the number of pimps busted each year is around 30 or less.
It's not like too bloody many hookers are going to sue their own pimps unless they get a heck of a lot of money out of it, and even then it's questionable.
I mean, how many women are going to risk their lives suing their pimp? Sure, she'd get some money out of him, but he's gonna send some people after her to beat her in retaliation.
Duh.
Not only that, but most hookers have such low self-esteem and are so hopped up on drugs that they think they deserve the beating or will take the abuse just to score some junk.
Seriously, I only see this law working for those few hookers who are planning on escaping that lifestyle.
If they win the lawsuit, they'll take the money and run... if they're wise enough to.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Legal Hookers? [by Freedom Watch]
I guess Hooter's Air isn't the breast airline out there. 
Hooters Airlines in Myrtle Beach is stopping regularly scheduled air service.They must have sagging assets in the company if it's failing.The airline said it will stop its public charter flights April 17 and will run only private charters out of Winston-Salem, N.C.
President Mark Peterson said Hooters Air will serve large groups such as sports teams and tour groups.
Peterson said some of the airline's 350 workers will be laid off in Winston-Salem. About five workers in Myrtle Beach are being laid off.
I wonder if they'll go bust completely, or if they'll be able to push up sales and business again.
Perhaps they need some sort of financial augmentation surgery to increase their size.
Alright, alright, I'm done. I'm off to do my favourite pastimes: to play the bongos, swim in the pool with my flotation devices, and let the (blouse) bunnies romp around in the backyard. Just thought I'd use this space to headlight, I mean highlight this article.
Okay, I'm really done now. Besides, I have to go check if my melons are fresh. And... fluff my pillows.
K, that's really it. Lol.
Yup, Lottie loves her beer.
The 3 year old cow has been surviving off ale that her owner has been feeding her ever since he learned that Lottie was dying as a result of a stomach blockage.
Perhaps he just thought the beer would help ease the pain?
Who knows what he was thinking.
Well, the vet suggested he try using brewer's yeast since no drugs were able to cure the blockagage, so I suppose that's how it all started.
So, there you have it. If you have a sick Betsy that you know is having stomach blockage, I guess you get her wasted.
I just hope you don't try taking advantage of her afterwards.
Ya, I can just see it now. People all over the world will be using this knowledge to bring their favourite bovine out drinking with them at the local tavern.
Have you ever had one of those days when you just can't pull yourself away from the tv?
Well, this guy was attempting to pull alright - I'm sure he was yanking away - but it wasn't away from the tv that he was yanking - it was to porno.
It probably started with just a little porn, you know, a little something to spice up the boudoir. And then, it became a little more and a little more, until one day the guy said, "screw it, I'll just spend the rest of my days watching smut".
But, all the while, a storm was brewing in his wife, just fermenting away, until she'd just had enough and had to do something about it.
"That's it," I'm sure she said. "I'm calling the police."
And, she did.
You see, a German woman had phoned the police in utter frustration.
She told the dispatcher that there was an emergency in her home, and when police arrived, what they found was a pacing, disgruntled woman and a man sitting in front of the idiot box watching a blue movie.
The woman even stated that she'd tried luring him away from the tube with 'the real thing', but he wouldn't budge.
I guess the German woman's lederhosen just wasn't cutting it.
Of course, the police walked away from the scene with only the advice of seeking counselling, but I wonder what the charges would have been, if there were a charge for such a thing.
I don't know, perhaps they could have arrested him on possible charges of using a lubrication reserved for automotive use only.
In other concupiscent news, which I've titled Porn To Run.
A woman watched some porn with her children, aged 8 and up.
Okay, she didn't actually intend to watch the porno with them; it just sort of happened when the $34 Apex DVD player they bought from Walmart started playing some "waa waa wika wika" instead of the Bambi 2 movie they were hoping to watch.
I guesss that's just what you get when you buy a cheap dvd player - cheap tawdry sex.
Looks like New York will be charging people for use of some public toilets.
Oh sure, you'll be able to take a dump in a public place, but at what cost?
Well, I guess 25 cents by the looks of it.
The city will be incorporating at least 20 new pay potties into their streetscape. The toilets are made to look space age-like, kinda like an elevator.
Just remember to stay on the first floor and don't push the button for the basement, lol.
The best part of this news is that 25 cents buys you 15 minutes of potty time, and a recorded warning let's you know when it's time to leave.
Three minutes after the warning, the door opens.
heh, heh, heh
Who wants to bet that some punks will go around disabling the things so that the doors will open ahead of time or the warning recording won't sound off?
There'll be a lot of full moons in New York city if that can be accomplished.
Apparently, an 81 year old man almost got himself into some hot water when he wrote an article for a magazine. Although what he said in the article was clearly a joke, a local bank and the police didn't see it as such.
What else is new, right?
It all started when Frank Hainsworth wrote a jestful letter to a magazine in response to an article called The Bulletin, written by a convicted armed robber.
The joke was obvious, at least, to those of us who have a brain: he wrote that he wanted to rob a bank before he died "because they have always robbed me".
Ya, isn't that the truth.
That should be the typical response by anyone with common sense, but clearly both the bank and the police lacked sense in this situation. You see, the bank phoned the police worried that this was a serious threat, then the police went to the man's home to investigate and determine whether the man owned a gun or not.
Okay, yes, the police would be required to follow up on the situation, but really now. They could have been a little more casual than sending the elite armed robbery unit after him, considering the nonchalance of the letter.
It seems to me like this guy was almost found guilty before a crime was even committed.
Like, hello people, a joke.
Remember when humour used to exist in society. How lame are our lives when we can't even grasp the humour in a man's commentary.
Duh.
I don't know. Perhaps we need to publicly educate children on what common sense is and how it's used, so that they won't grow up as stupid as these people seemed to be behaving.
Or, how about we supply kids with lessons in humour - like a comprehension and response sort of thing?
Lighten up folks, for f*ck sakes.
People these days seem to be throwing a lot of unusual things at cops: legs, biscuits at police dogs, etc.
But, this is, in fact, the most unusual I've ever heard of.
"Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody."Ya, I think this dude might just qualify for some electro-shock therapy.
I dunno, just a hunch.
But, I guess he doesn't have to worry about his girlfriend who he had a falling out with prior to the incident, as I'm sure she doesn't want to be seen with him anymore.
I mean, I can't speak for her or anything, but I don't think I'd be all that interested in a nutzo who just had his penis stitched back on after he cut it off.
But, whatever, the world takes all kinds, even lunatics who lop off their own jewels and hurl them at the coppers. I just wonder what it was like being the police at the moment. Hmmm... dodge the flying d*ck or dodge the knives?
I think I'd take my chances with the knives, lol.
I guess the good thing about this whole adventure is that the doctor said that severed penises are uncommon.
Well, that's a relief.
I'm certainly glad to hear this isn't a common practise among men who get in a tiff with their partners.
Okay, fellas, I'll let you off the hook - you can stop squirming now. The article's over.
It seems a teacher decided to take a bite out of an admirable profession when she allegedly chomped on her student's back.
Talk about finding a new technique to discourage misbehaviour.
Caroline Kolb pleaded not guilty to 4th degree aggravated assault after she had an altercation with a 14 year old student who wouldn't spit out a piece of candy.
The teacher argued with the student over the candy, called the kid into the hall, then they struggled over the student's books,
"he fell and hit his head and she apparently started biting him on his left upper shoulder."Although the teacher plead not guilty, her termination letter stated that she admitted to finding fabric in her mouth during the incident.
Unless, of course, she chews on fabric as a hobby, I guess.
Duh.
As a result of the incident, Kolb has been fired for insubordination and conduct unbecoming a teacher.
Sounds to me like the teacher got about as juvenile as the student did that day, eh.
Perhaps she thought she'd get her 'just desserts' by eating a bit of her student.
Next thing you know, teachers will be required to wear one of these.
Looks like three f*cktards have been caught in relation to those 9 church fires in Alabama.
It's been speculated by many that this was possibly race related or denomination related, some even went so far as to say it was gay liberal related or atheist related, but the pathetic college kids say it was none of that. They claim it was merely a joke that got out of hand.
Some joke.
The 'tards were caught by regular detective work as officers matched tire tread from the scene to the truck tires of one of the losers.
I guess the best part of this story is that they can face up to five years in prison for each church burned.
If the judge were really nasty, they could end up laughing about that "joke" for 45 years behind bars.
I gotta say, it is making me smirk. But, it's not the joke I'm laughing at; I'm laughing at those rejects and their stupidity.
And, if you think I'm being to harsh on them, consider this: it took time and money to hire 100 ATF investigators - from specialty agents to forensic experts - working on the cases to come up with as much evidence as they possibly could to get these guys.
Meanwhile, 9 congregations are displaced.
Now, apparently, two of the guys are aspiring actors, but after this idiocy, I suspect they'll be perspiring inmates as they fear dropping the soap.
For more news on those flamers and their moronic acts, this website is full of it.
Start clenching those buttocks, boys.
Ladies, what's worse than some slimy drunk pinching your butt at the bar?
How about an apparition that you can't even slap back?
Apparently, a pub has a little perverted ghost going around rubbing up against women's bottoms. With the help of a medium, they say it's the spirit of a former chef.
Or, at least that's what the new owners of the pub would like us to believe.
Ya right.
I don't smell a 'fake out' just to get customer, no.
New owners, need business, make up legend to get customers.
Sounds pretty obvious as a hoax, don't you think?
Do people even care about this sh*t anymore? I hear stories like this so often that it's hardly believed to be anything other than a way of making money.
What they really need is a Pac Man to free their pub of the nasty spook.
Anyhow, if you're into that ghastly, I mean ghostly stuff, then here's a link you might be interested in: Angels & Ghosts.
I’ve been given the privilege of reading and reviewing blogger, Todd A.’s first novel Being Good. Below is my take on it, and I recommend it to all interested readers.
The beginning of any novel will generally give you an immediate impression of how it was written and if you’ll enjoy reading it. The beginning of Being Good gave me the impression that I would thoroughly be entertained reading it, and it succeeded explicitly.
The first page alone draws you in directly by enabling you to relate to the main character, Slav O Se. From a dairy-style, first person perspective, you learn about the life – trials, tribulations, errors, and successes – of a man in his late 20’s indulging in women, struggling with a repulsive headmaster/boss (Thistletwat, or something like that *smiles*), and being tormented by a slightly expanding waistline.
Although it can be tough at time, this is all good for Slav. Trust me; it’s got to be. The only question now is, is he good or bad? Let’s just say Slav’s story is not for the faint of heart, but it is rather compelling and alluring in a slightly naughty way.
And, let’s not forget Slav’s ‘motto’,
“If there’s one thing I won’t abide, it’s buttfucking.?That’s right, this novel is crude and hilarious - all in one shot.
Just the way I like it, and I’m sure you will too.
It’s certainly not your typical, dry novel that you had to read in school. Being Good is definitely up-to-date, and it is a read that many, if not all bloggers, readers of blogs, and heck, anybody would love.
Further, although it was a thrill for me - and would be for many women - to see into the life and mind of a man in his late 20’s, it is even more of a thrill for me to explain that this book would likely appeal to the male readers out there.
I’m saying this because I know there are not an awful lot of novels written with the male reader in mind, and this novel has all the appeal of the male mentality with a touch of raw salaciousness (look it up).
Like Slav himself, Being Good will charm the pants off you.
A North American Patriot is wondering if drinking young boys' urine is some sort of crime.
I'm assuming the information is not for her personal use.
Actually, it has to do with an article about a man who drinks the urine of adolescents. How the man does this is by going into a public washroom, shutting off the water valve of the toilet, putting a cup in the bottom of the child-level urinal, and waiting. After a boy uses the urinal, the man picks up the cup and drinks from it.
Altogether now, Eeeewwww!
The man claims it makes him feel closer to the boys, and he thinks it is a little like drinking from the fountain of youth.
In response to the question at hand and although the article doesn't say, I think the guy was put in jail for violating his parole sentence since he's also a registered sex offender, and a father called the police on him for looking at his son strangely. Which means, it's probably okay to drink urine, but really, really weird in our society, and probably worth a trip to the funny farm.
But, I can't say for sure if it is okay to drink another person's urine without their approval as I really don't know the laws on it. For some reason, the thought's never passed my mind for me to care.
Does anyone know the legality of it all?
One commenter at her site stated that 100 million Chinese people drink about an ounce of their own urine per day because it has vitamins and nutrients (I believe the facts are closer to 3 million people), but as he also stated, and I concur that this is probably not the reason why that "pervert" is going around drinking boys' urine.
FYI - urine drinking is not just a Chinese phenomenon as urine therapy has been reported in Japan, India, and my guess is that it has occurred in other places of the world and throughout history at one point or another.
There is also a term for it called Uropathy.
I guess we can all look forward to the day they open up urine cafés.
I don't know about you, but I think I'll stick to coffee, 2 sugars, 2 creams.
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Linked to: third world county, freedom watch, rhymes with right, diane's stuff, stuck on stupid, outside the beltway, conservative cat, adam's blog
No, this is not about someone who got a little over rambunctious with the TP at their last "sitting".
This is about a man who allegedly killed his roommate in a dispute over toilet paper.
A Florida man took a sledgehammer and claw hammer to his roommate and left the guy nearly unidentifiable after an argument about a lack of toilet paper in the house.
Ya, I've been about that mad, too, when I'm stuck on the can and there's no toilet paper within reach.
Okay, maybe not THAT mad, but you get the point.
The alleged killer denied the incident at first, but confessed after questioning.
I don't know, but I sense that there may be more to the issue than mere TP. Like, perhaps, a major chemical imbalance in the dumbnut's brain or something.
A fight over TP is one thing, but a death?
Spend a frickin' buck, buddy, and get your own TP if it bugs you that much
Or better yet, MOVE, you f*cknut.
Brother, could you spare a roll?
What is it with the jocularity of the Canadian government?
All these weird traditions and witty humour up on Parliament Hill and anywhere they make a speech.
The BC finance minister kept with tradition by wearing a new pair of shoes while announcing the latest budget.
The problem is that her shoes happened to be $600 Guccis, not exactly the image most Canadians want portrayed by their budget-conscious finance ministers.
The minister thought it would be funny to wear the $600 shoes along with her string pearls and stated,
"I believe strongly in infrastructure investment; my shoes are amortized over 20 years."Ha, ha.
Whoo boy, *wipes tears*, those politicians can be funny.
As a result of her attempt at a one-liner, she's taking the heat now for being seen as an eccentric, spendthrifty politician. But, as her defense, she claims that she wore 15 year old shoes at the last budget update and that the jacket she was wearing this time was from back when the mini-skirt was popular.
So, basically what she's saying is that she generally has poor taste in clothing. But, at least her pearls and Guccis make up for it.
Frankly, I couldn't care less, but this does make for a slightly humorous article. And, being a gal, I enjoyed writing this simply because it's a l story about a girl and her Guccis.
It seems the web slinger, Spiderman's spidey sense was tingling to steal something recently.
A man walked into a comic book store wearing a spiderman mask, used a hammer to shatter a glass display case, and stole several issues of valuable comic books.
Among the stolen were Fantastic Four #1, X-Men #1, and Amazing Fantasy #15, valued around $2500 per issue.
Guess he's not such a friendly, neighbourhood Spiderman afterall.
I guess we'll have to change some of those Spiderman theme lyrics:
In the chill of the nightWe're going to have to change that last line to "He escapes just in time".
At the scene of the crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time
Funniest part of this one is that
"employees thought nothing of a customer dressed in partial costume."At least, it's an everyday occurrence in the world of dork.
I guess once the guy's caught, his little kissy-kiss scene will be behind bars with Bubba.
A man in Pennsylvania was caught microwaving his penis at a local convenience store.
Police were called to investigate a case where a man walked into the convenience store and asked the clerk to microwave something he had wrapped in a paper towel. When it was done heating, the clerk went to pick the package up out of the nuclear-wave oven (as I call it) and apparently, a penis fell out.
The man quickly grabbed his package up off the ground and ran out of the store, leaving some bloody gauze behind.
Okay, it wasn't really the guy's penis, it was a fake one.
It was later determined by police that the case was not just a hoax, but a scam.
It seems the man was acting on behalf of his female companion who needed a urine sample to pass her job's drug test. The man apparently filled the dildo with his own urine and had it microwaved to body temperature as part of the scam.
The police plan to charge the couple, but they aren't sure what the charges will be yet.
May I suggest they be charged with "faking it"? Or, perhaps with "dropping the ball(s)"?
What's really funny is lostinlimaohio's take on it. She states,
"I just have to wonder where she was going to hide "device" because, you know, it's not like they let you take a purse or anything into the stall with you, and I can't imagine it fitting into her pocket.... so just where would she stick it???"I just don't want to know.
I really don't.
Further, if they did get the item in to pass as the sample, wouldn't they question the testosterone in the sample? I'm no medic or anything, but I would think that male urine is quite different from female urine.
What I'd like to know about the case is what was with the bloody gauze?
Hat Tip: lostinlimaohio for this news tidit.
This is a warning to all those considering fornication with another species.
Jeffrey S. Haynes was recently told by the courts that he might have to be registered as a sex offender if he is found guilty of sodomy with a sheep.
Haynes is upset by the ruling because he believes his act had nothing to do with child molestation or vulnerable adults; however, the prosecutor stated that with Haynes' criminal background, he is not to be trusted.
A year ago, Haynes was caught on the owner of the animal's property and the sheep was injured.
It is claimed that his act represents one who is sexually perverted should be registered on the sex offender's list.
Perhaps the guy would have been better off with Dolly.
So, what's your opinion on it? Should he be registered as a sex offender or should that only come if he were to assault a human?
I think he need psychiatric treatment, personally.
I mean, this behaviour is nothing new and it doesn't exactly mean that he will offend with humans, but it is messed up and it needs to be dealt with.
Paul Kim has definately made a name for himself at Cypress Bay High School in Florida.
It seems the 17 year old had 500 roses delivered to almost every one of his female classmates for Valentine's Day.
Either this kid is going to have to schedule dates from here 'til his high school graduation or he will become the laughing stock of the entire school.
I highly doubt the chicks will poke fun of him, though. Unless, of course, they're ignorant, which oftentimes, teens are.
Nonetheless, Kim's decision was based on his belief that most girls would probably not get anything for Valentine's Day and since it was a special day to him, he thought it should be a special day for them as well.
The roses cost the boy $900, which he had been saving up for since December.
Kim probably would have gotten roses for all of his classmates, but his calculation was slightly off as there are more than 600 females in the junior class.
I say, with such a bold gesture and warm heart, Kim should be recognised for his act and some local florists should donate a rose to each of the remaining girls who missed out.
I think that with the amount he put in, that's the least they could do.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Floral and hearty [by dustbury.com]
And, I don't mean cigarettes.
Apparently, a judge has declared that mooning is a legitimate form of communication, regardless of its crassness.
Forget the finger, it's mooning time.
The lawyer for the case stated that the man was just expressing his disapproval towards one of the homeowner's association board members in his neighbourhood.
The man was found guilty the first time around for indecent exposure, but the verdict was reversed upon appeal.
The judge added at the appeal that the man may have been found guilty if the trials were about the man "being a jerk".
So, I guess that since they consider mooning rude, but not illegal, that Maryland may end up with a permanent full moon soon.
Going postal all over again.
I thought the days of playing shoot 'em up at the post office were gone, but I guess not.
6 dead and one wounded were found in a Santa Barbara mail processing plant, and it is believed that an ex-postal employee was responsible as she took the lives of current employees, then committed suicide.
So, what was this... the woman's way of commemorating the 1986 shootings? Like a 20 year memorial service or something?
It's sick and messed up.
And, I thought we were beyond that insane fad by now as we haven't seen anything like it since 1997 (at least, that's what wikipedia tells us).
Let's hope this isn't a trend for the year.
What would you do to see your name in lights? Or, perhaps the question is, what wouldn't you do?
For Chuck Lamb, he's willing to die.
This dead dork can be found at deadbodyguy.com where you will see plenty of images of Lamb posing dead in various circumstances.
For instance, he's been spotted "dead" at the bottom of the stairs, dangling from a ceiling fan, lying in a bowl of soup, jammed under the garage door, etc.
If you haven't already been there, it's worth a look as a time waster.
Lamb initially put up the site to get noticed by Hollyweird, but thought he was too old to really make it. He tried anyhow.
Well, weird begets weird, and it worked.
He, apparently, has been offered a movie role. Plus, he is expected to play his dead role on the red carpet of the Los Angeles Film Festival as actors tread over him.
So, I suppose he's meeting his goal in life. He'll soon see his name in lights.
Chuck Lamb: proving to the world that you're never too old to fake it in Hollywood.
Some perverted sicko (at least that's my opinion of it) allegedly decided to pleasure himself in the "Junior Miss" section of a Rogersville Goody's store.
Apparently, a female customer saw the man in his self-serve sex act and phoned the police. When the police caught the guy, he stated that he didn't know he had been seen and he didn't know he was in the "Junior Miss" section. He thought he was in the women's section.
It seems the guy went into the store for that purpose and that purpose only. He was not there to shop, according to the report.
He was arrested for indecent exposure, and apparently, this was not his first time diddling with his woohoo..
Just for your information, men, this is NOT a way to occupy your time while your partner shops for clothes.
I sure like how he claims he thought he was in the women's section and not the kids' section. Like that's SO much better.
You know, the least he could have done was buy something after he jerked off to the store's products.
Nutjob.
Robert Pickton goes on trial today.
This was the largest investigation, hence will be the largest court trial in Canadian history.
For those unaware, Pickton is a pig farmer in British Columbia, Canada who is facing 27 murder charges, all of which for the deaths of women. This accounts for less than half the women missing in the area he allegedly targeted.
In 2002, Pickton's pig farm in Port Coquitlam, BC was raided by police and underwent a nearly 2 year search for bodies and body parts on the farm.
It is believed that Pickton fed some of the body parts to his pigs.
The women, primarily prostitutes, were believed to be lured to the Pickton farm between the years 1995-2001. It is said that Pickton and his brother registered a charity called Piggy Palace Good Times Society, which was supposed to hold numerous types of events; however, many of these events turned out to be merely drunken barn raves that featured "entertainment" in the form of using prostitutes.
If convicted, Pickton will surpass Clifford Olson as Canada's worst serial killer. (more...)
All I have to say is fry piggy, fry.
UPDATE: Pickton pled not guilty (figures), so let the games begin. He pled not guilty on 26 charges, but on the 27th, he fell silent and the court pled not guilty for him
A man in Oregon attempted to flee from a state trooper by throwing his prosthetic legs at the copper.
I wonder how he thought he was going to get away without anything to run with.
The trooper stopped the man for driving in the wrong direction on the highway. The man smelled of alcohol, so the officer asked the man to step out of the vehicle.
What'd he say? Get out of the vehicle and put your legs up!
After the man attempted to flee from the cop, he turned and threw his false legs at the officer. One missed him and the other hit him in the chest.
The guy definately made some stupid mistakes because he was arrested for driving under the influence, reckless driving, resisting arrest, attempted assault on an officer, and bail was set to $45,000.
I don't know. Perhaps he thought he was getting a leg up on the situation by throwing the things at the cop.
I'll tell you this, though. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.
It seems a millionaire left $1.1 million to the federal government upon her death.
Margaret Taylor's will stated that her fortune was to be put towards paying off the national debt.
I don't know why, but this one initial warmed the cockles of my heart.
Although I doubt the payment will do anything truly significant, considering the size of the debt, it does sound like a thoughtful effort.
It's too bad millionaires don't have it in them to do this all the time: dead or alive.
It would be nice to see celebs, sports stars, and self-made millionaires invest more into the country that keeps them safe and well fed.
I know the cost of living is greater for the wealthy and we can't expect them to live modestly with all that cash flowing through their hands, but they could do more for their country than anyone else, if they chose to.
But, who am I to say anything? I'm certainly not in their shoes to know any better.
Don't say I didn't warn you people in the States about the impending invasion of Canada.
We've just launched our newest subtle attack on the country.
And, it's a messy one.
I'll bet you thought it would stop at Fabio, but no, our Canada goose mission extends further as we pummel Oakland picnic-goers with poop.
How it all began was we coerced Oakland into taking a few of our missionaries (the geese) into refuge about 20 years ago, and since then, the soldiers have been trained to reproduce in quantities of about 200 with about 2,000 more soldiers arriving each summer, causing a poop fiasco.
This many Canadian geese produce a ton of feces each day.
Seeing as Canada doesn't have real weapons, we figure these poop bombs make up for it. Oakland is merely our trial city, but wherever geese may roam, you can suspect they are up to something sinister.
They are our spies as you know.
And, we've noticed that you've attempted to diffuse the foul situation by taking various measures - be it using grass that the geese won't eat, distasteful chemicals, or fencing off areas. You've even began hiring firms such as Goosebusters and Wild Goose Chase, which uses dogs to chase away the birds.
But, let me assure you that these are all feeble attempts.
You cannot dissolve our mission.
We shall provail.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
They Hide Among Us: Canadians! [by Sense of Soot]
For once, it's not me.
(kidding)
First, we start with a study of drinking on the job. It is reported that 7% of workers drink on the job or just before they start work, and of those 7%, the majority are single men in jobs like management, sales, the media, and restaurant workers.
I guess that's one way to get through the day at work. I just wonder how many of those cases means alcoholism or just a casual/social drink. Or, perhaps a drink with clients to "seal the deal", etc.
This is why I don't care for polls too much - because they don't say enough about the situations to know the truth.
Another case of alcohol can be found in court. Literally.
A man who was facing charges for evading a railway fare and for drinking at the station brought his own case of beer bottles to his court trial in a plastic bag.
In my opinion, this man clearly displayed alcoholism when he was found with alcohol, and smelled drunk, in two separate instances. Further, the man admitted to being an alcoholic and claimed he wanted to seek help for his substance abuse.
Either that or it was a really good plot for getting out of prison as his case had been deferred.
That's what I'm going to do, go on a drunken rampage, then bring some booze to court so that I can get out of my punishment.
Now on to more 'sobering' news.
In Japan, a driver was afraid of a police drinking-driving checkpoint, so he plowed right through the stop. After the man ran the stop, he was found in an embankment with his car upside down.
Although the man claimed that he had been drinking and drove through the roadblock because he was afraid to take a breathalizer (breath-test), the police declared that the man was, in fact, sober.
That story doesn't really need a comment. It's weird enough on its own.
I mean really, that's almost as lame as stuffing a free newspaper under your jacket and thinking you're getting away with something.
I could see PETA getting up in arms about this one.
Moonbat Monitor writes about a mouse who got its tail lit on fire after a man was burning it amongst the leaves in his yard. The mouse was terrorizing the man in his home, so the man took the mouse out to the pile of leaves, dropped it in there, and set the leaves on fire.
The mouse retaliated by running from out of the pile with its tail ablaze and into the man's house where it began setting fire to the place and its contents.
Everything was destroyed, but no one was hurt.
Well... no one got hurt, but the mouse - as PETA would cry.
I'm thinking the man would have been better off had he taken the mouse to the nearest laboratory for some animal testing. See, those pests ARE good for nothing, but for testing on and annoying home owners.
UPDATE: The man who started the fire now says that the story was a fabrication and that the mouse was actually dead before being tossed into the leaves, but I don't know if I believe that. Perhaps PETA has threatened the poor guy's life, and he has been reduced to a lie for the sake of personal protection.
See, f*ckards don’t just live in the States, they come from Canada too.
Woman suing city over loss of her catYup, the coyotes are running rampant around here.
Raccoons maybe, but coyotes, uhhhh... no.
What was the universal symbol for cuckoo again?
I'm sure by now most have heard of that 2 headed albino rat snake named We, but did you know you could bid on it at Ebay?
Starting bid is $150,000 US. But, remember, you're paying to feed one animal, twice, lol.
I guess you can just be glad it has two front ends and not two rear ends.
I can't help writing about this sort of topic when these news items keep heading my way. Plus, I think it's frickin' funny.
Jacksonville has been a few toilets short of a full load recently as there has been a rash of toilet thefts in the city.
In one month, a total of 4 toilets have been stolen in two separate incidents. And, both were taken from women's washrooms.
I sure hope that's not some sort of weird new fetish out there.
They say that the toilets stolen weren't in use at the time, which I think is a good thing. Ew!
Just imagine, though, if the thieves get caught, they will be known for the rest of their lives as the Potty Pillagers.
What kind of theft is that anyhow? Is some plumber on a rampage or something?
I just hope they don't try to steal the Big Johns out there. A lot of butts could be sad to see that go.
It seems a truck driver was arrested in Iowa for allegedly chucking urine-filled bottles into people's back yards.
The trucker is said to have admitted that it was a long time hobby of his to fill detergent-sized bottles with his urine and then throw them over fence as he passed by.
The man was charged with littering and harassment.
If this is what he gives people for Christmas, I'd hate to know what he delivers for Valentine's Day.
Most people send chocolates... but with this guy's unique choice of presents, I wouldn't be surprised if those people got some other brown goodies left on their lawns.
Some college kid was apparently jailed for having condoms in her luggage.
Of course, the condoms were filled with a white substance, which later turned out to be flour, but she seemed to think that she had a lawsuit over the whole incident.
The girl told authorities that the flour-filled condoms were some sort of stress-relief dorm project.
This weirdo better not get a dime, in my opinion. Suing people for doing their job to protect society is pathetic enough, but what the heck kind of stress balls are those?
Sounds perverse to me, but then again, my mind is never far from the gutter.
Sure they're for relieving stress, but probably not for squeezing between the hand. Maybe for squeezing somewhere else, but I'm not going there.
Ack, this whole story is stressing me out, I'm off to get myself some de-stresser balls.
How embarrassing it must be knowing that for the rest of your life you'll be referred to as the cop who was chased by a tractor.
After responding to a domestic abuse call in Iowa, deputies were chased by a man on a tractor. The police had to shoot out the tractor tires, then taser the man before they could charge him with assault.
Okay, all I can hear while writing this is some hillbilly chase scene music playing in my head.
Yee HAW!
The cops had to shoot out the tires, though? Why not just walk up to the machine, climb onto it, and shut it off? Oh wait, they probably had to shoot it because their donut-filled tummies slowed them down and they couldn't catch the tractor!
Imagine going home that night and explaining to your partner, "honey, I was chased by a tractor today". Partner's response, "uh huh... okay, then".
Seriously, a tractor?
You know, I respect that officers are there for us and all, but they had to take down A TRACTOR!
And, let's not forget... who in their right mind uses a tractor as their getaway vehicle?
Go Billy-Bob!
Lost in Lima Ohio first sent me this link to a fruitcake who changed his name to kentuckyfriedcruelty.com because LILO thought I'd be interested in writing about it.
And, she was correct. What a dipwad that PETA freak is.
But, Peakah's Provocations also sent me his write up on the article, tributing the article to me, and I think he says it all, so I'm suggesting that everyone go to Peakah's place to read up on it.
Peakah really says it all, and it's quite funny, so worth the read.
However, I am thinking of changing my name to KFC=Yummy.com (there is no existing site by that name, by the way, but mmmm... they are yummy, and boneless are back, lol).
Geez, why did I have to read this news? I really didn't need to know this.
A 64 year old man had sexual relations with calves.
Happy Holidays.
The man plead "no contest" to charges of using calves regularly for sexual gratification and was given 2 years probation, ordered to have psychological counseling (I sure bloody-well hope so), and to have an alcohol and drug abuse assessment done.
The guy admitted to stopping in for some passionate bestiality on a neighborhood barn routinely (about 50 times total) after a night of drinking and debauchery at a local strip club.
Won't somebody please think of the cattle?
What I think is funny, if anything from this story, is that the guy chose calves rather than full grown cows to get the job done.
What is with older guys wanting to date the young things?
I know calves are adorable, but that's just ridiculous.
WARNING: To the right is a picture of calf porn. Viewer discretion is advised.
A new game on school buses has begun.
First, it was the choking game, now it's the pumping game.
It seems a 17 year old boy was arrested for having clothed sex with girls while on a school bus.
Growing up, we knew that as being called dry humping.
The boy was caught by police after the assaulted girls got off the bus and told the school resource officer.
And, what exactly do you win for playing the pumping game?
Answer: an arrest for 3 counts of lewd and lascivious behavior and 3 counts of battery.
Perhaps the school will think this through and have the kid sit on the short bus next time where he belongs.
What do you do when you're lonely and have nothing to do?
Answer: Grab one of your 500 best friends and stroke it.
Okay, enough of the crude and pathetic attempt at a joke. An 83 year old woman in Virginia had some bizarre obsession with putty-tats because she was found housing nearly 500 cats, both dead and alive.
The woman was arrested in July and has plead guilty to animal cruelty after animal control entered her home as a result of neighbour complaints of a strong urine smell.
When animal control checked out the place, they found the house in disarray, smelling of feces, and the home was declared "unfit for human habitation".
The woman's daughter was also found housing her own bunch of kitty cats. In total, the two woman had 493 cats, but only 272 were alive.
At her sentencing, the 83 year old was told to get help for her hoarding problem and was fined $2500, given 360 days suspended jail sentence, and one year probation.
What is with people and their weird sh*t?
I mean, I've already written about this story in the form of an 61 year old man hoarding birds and now this.
Geez, that would be a match made in heaven if those two got together, eh. Except, cats and birds don't really go together now do they? That's a couple doomed to constant fighting, eh, lol.
A really dumb woman has been charged with attempting to hire a hitman to rob and kill 4 men.
The woman had hired the hitman, who turned out to be an undercover cop, after she had seen what looked like a block of cocaine in a home about a week earlier.
The block of cocaine turned out to be queso fresco cheese.
Yes, that's right, white cheese.
Before learning the truth, the woman had told the "hitman" that they would have to kill any children who might be old enough to testify against her.
As the article states, imagine losing your life over cheese.
At least the idiot's bail was set high enough that she's not likely to get out or anything. It's set at $1 million.
Fool.
Who frickin' mistakes cheese for cocaine? Who?
Imagine trying to sell that, lol.
Hey... pssstt, hey buddy. You like the white stuff? I've got some real fresh stuff here, you interested? You're not a narc, are you? Cheese patrol?I guess we should just be glad that the dimbulb spoke with the wrong "hitman".
I know this is all in the spirit of the season and all, but I'm sure there's got to be a lawsuit in it for some flakey person out there.
A ministry that provides Christian tv and radio programming, called Mission Media, will be giving free gas to single parents in the Boise, Idaho area.
The effort is to help struggling parents out during the Christmas holiday by saving them roughly 20 to 30 dollars that can be used towards their kids instead of in their gas tanks.
Like I said, it all sounds great, but I'm sure some knothead will be seeing dollar signs dancing in their heads rather than sugar plums as they plan for a lawsuit.
You know, some couple is going to say that they are being excluded because they aren't single parents and that they deserve the "gift" just as much as the single parents do.
Or some jazz.
I don't know. What's sadder... that I'm actually thinking this is a possibility around the holidays or that it actually could happen?
You're at an office Christmas party, there's a lot of drinking going on, there's a photocopier nearby. What do you do?
You know what you do.
According to Canon photocopier repairmen, 32% of their Christmas season calls have been to fix the glass plates after people attempted to photocopy various body parts.
As a result, Canon has increased the thickness of its glass in hopes of ending rear-end copying mishaps.
One of the most alarming tales comes from service engineer Steven Mannion of northern England: 'I had to repair a machine with a photocopy of a man's groin jammed in it'.That's one hard copy.
Mannion also added that
"The manager suggested an office identity parade to see who Canon could charge for the call-out charge."I guess this means that all you office perverts out there better lighten your load before the Christmas party, eh, lol.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Some Call It A Bonfire (Or Carnival) Of Classiness.... [by WILLisms.com]
Tuesday [by Conservative Cat]
An article titled Car Crashes Kill More People Than Terrorism: Toll Is 400 Times Higher In U.S. was recently published, informing us that the number of deaths from car crashes outweighs the number of deaths from terrorist attacks.
No sh*t.
Is this article supposed to suggest that we shouldn't be worried about terrorism and that everything is just hunky-dory as long as we don't drive?
The author of the study mentions that the information gathered is intended to aid in policy-making decisions, and it is not intended to weigh emotional, economical, or political decisions.
"Policy makers need to consider these issues when allocating resources towards preventable interventions that can save lives from these two avoidable causes of mortality."
Although I understand the intention of the study, it is clear that this information could easily be manipulated by the moonbats when it comes to fighting terror.
And, what's worse is that the nutballs have further ammunition against reality as US airlines will now allow scissors, small pocketknives, and other small tools on board flights.
The decision is not sitting well with many, including flight attendants, some members of Congress, and of course, many families of Sept. 11 victims.
To be lenient is to suggest that all is safe and clear of any danger.
Ya, that's brilliant.
Let's ignore all of the existing worldwide bloodshed and drop our guard. Gee, you know, it doesn't take people long to forget facts and ignore that the death tally could easily equal, or surpass, the car crash death toll in the matter of one simple act of carelessness combined with terror.
See, now this is exactly what I meant by Canadian seniors need to move to Florida due to harsh Canadian winters.
It seems an 85 year old Canadian man was accidentally locked up in a police compound after his vehicle was towed there. The police ticketed and had a car towed away for illegal parking, but no one noticed the man sitting in the driver's seat because the windows were frosted over.
The man sat in the car for hours at the compound before it was noticed he was in there. Once found, the man appeared disoriented, but conscious.
Now that's a true Canadian winter, lol.
Let's just say the police are very lucky they didn't have a senior-sicle on their hands like they occasionally do this time of year. No joke.
Trust me, Florida's a good place to move when you hit retirement age around here.
What the h*ll is wrong with some people?
I guess there are all sorts of ways to make money when it comes to fire poles. And, I thought only strippers made money from dancing around them.
It's been noted that a Georgian woman is suing a county fire department after she allegedly hurt herself sliding down the fire pole.
The money grubbing b---- claims the department was negligent when she slid down the pole at a 2003 party at the firehouse and injured her feet and ankles upon her landing.
Bet the stupid woman was all giggly and excited to be sliding down the fire pole and now she's a whiny brat. She blames the whole thing on them not immediately calling an ambulance to treat her injuries.
YOU'VE GOT HANDS AND A VOICE, DIPSH*T, PHONE 'EM YOURSELF!
In case you can't tell, I really despise fake lawsuits and the people who take advantage of them.
The idiot is claiming to have had surgery worth around $75,000 on her feet and ankles (hmmm... shady doctor?) and still can't walk (ah, shady lawyer too?).
If only I had a picture for this moron, she'd be in black and white to the left this week. Oh yes, and to answer that question: she's just an idiot.
So, here we have a new book out on the market. Yippy.
Some woman, somewhere created this book called the Ultimate Sex Diet book. And, when you hear that, you think "okay, I'm all for that", but it's not what it's cracked up to be in my opinion. No, I haven't read it, but the review of it sounds corny.
The idea is that you substitute food cravings for your partner.
She says that on her way home from work, she often picks up something fatty to eat, but with the diet, she doesn't do that because she heads home to get busy instead.
Okay, first of all, most people would pick up the McCr*ppy burger and eat it on the way home to getting laid. She must either not have all her apples in a basket or she thinks her readers will buy anything.
For a trainer's perspective, Jon Kaplan speaks about the diet, saying,
"as a trainer, I think sex is great exercise. It's very, very good for you. Vigorous sex is even better because you can get your heart rate up and burn some serious pounds".
But before you go out and buy the book because his testimony is so compelling, I have to say that I doubt he graduated from the Harvard fitness trainer academy. I wonder what his commission might be for approving the book, or was the endorsement merely for name recognition???
The woman adds, "I think you have to do everything in moderation. You've got to watch what you eat, too".
Aw, spoiled sport.
We all want to have our cake and "butter our muffins", too.
So there you have it, another mindless self-help book hits the market stating what we already know: substituting exercise for food is good for you and sex is enjoyable.
I think I'll save my few dollars and put it towards a cheeseburger, or maybe some kind of toy *wink wink* *nudge nudge* *jolly good* ;-)
Hmmm... I wonder when Oprah's going to promote this slendiferous read in her book of the month club, or has she already?
By now, you've likely heard of Debra Lafave: the 25 year old teacher who had sex with a 14 year old boy. Recent news suggests that the Greco middle school teacher plead guilty rather than insane to the two charges of lewd and lascivious battery, and she will also not be serving prison time. Lafave will instead serve three years community control (house arrest), seven years probation, and be registered as a sex offender.
First off, how odd is it that this story gets so popular just because it's a female teacher? I mean, how many young male teachers have had sex with students in this world? Let's just say, so many that they even joke about it on tv from time to time, and it remains topic amongst teens in high school.
No kidding.
How many students flirt with their cute male teachers to the point of having sex with them just for a good grade and for the prestige of it among peers?
I'm not condoning either situations, by any means. It is absolutely wrong of a teacher to have any sort of relations with youth other than as strickly platonic.
I'm just saying that the media is pretty pathetic in blowing up commonplace stories just for the sake of keeping viewership. Maybe they're even hoping for a bigger scoop if Lafave were to marry her teenaged partner similar to Mary Kay Letourneau, the 43 year old schoolteacher who married a student, Vili Fualaau, 10 years after they were caught having sex when he was just 12 years old.
H*ll, the media would probably even go so far as to pay Lafave and her mate to get married just for a bloody story.
But, I digress, apparently, Six meat buffet is offering his home to Lafave to carry out her three years house arrest in his basement. And I'm sure it's legit, too, no shackles or dungeon-like atmosphere or anything kinky like that, right?
Sometimes all I have to say is... I wish I were there to see it...
Alternative title, A Tan And A Tube Snake Boogie (care of ZZ Top)
In South Carolina, a tanning salon was caught for practising their services without using a working tanning bed.
The undercover officers had issues with the salon after they noticed that there were no actual tanning beds available.
After their "inspection" of the salon, the officers reported that the place was actually a brothel at which they arrested 3 employees and 2 customers for prostitution related charges.
Well, we can thank the tanning bed brothel because with it, one can not only look good, but they can feel good, too, after just one session.
I guess for some, it really is better to get a fake tan rather than a natural tan, if by tan you mean hummer.
What's going on in the world of magazine honours.
Mother Nature is nominated in the list of Time Magazine's person of the year.
And, Jennifer Aniston is GQ's Man of the Year? Aniston apparently earned the honor because she showed a lot of "poise, grace and good humor" during her breakup with Brad Pitt this year. Whoopty-doo. Why does she deserve an honour for nothing? Like there hasn't been a single man who has done something worthwhile in the past year to top that?
I mean, I could understand her being picked if she solved the Middle East conflict in Isreal/Palastine, but handling a fricken break up well in public???
What's next?
Cindy Sheehan as Cosmopolitan's Beautiful Babe of the Year?
Michael Jackson as National Geographic's Unnatural Wonder of the Year?
Perhaps, Michael Brown as Newsweek magazine's Disaster Planner of the Year with Ray Nagin's Honorable Mention in the mayor category?
Or, Scuba Diving magazine could honour the two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders who allegedly had sex in a public bathroom, Angela and Renee, as Muff Divers of the Year.
If not, perhaps Cat & Kittens magazine will take them up as Fiesty Felines of the Year for their bar fight.
Still undefeated, Bill Clinton maintains the title as Cigar Aficionado magazine's Cigar-Use Innovator of the Year.
Got any ideas for other magazine honours out there?
UPDATE: Wizbang makes a case why he thinks Jennifer deserves the top spot.
Okay, you people want some Canadian news?
Lol, here goes.
It seems a Canadian millionaire bachelor decided to leave all his money upon his death to his cat named Red.
David Harper, reclusive owner of $1.3 million, worked much of his life as a gardener in public service.
What will happen with kitty and the money?
"The United Church of Canada will administer the funds, in accordance with Harper's will, and be responsible for the three-year-old cat's care, feeding and veterinarian bills for the rest of its life, the newspaper reported."
Okay, if that's what a gardener makes, I'm switching jobs.
Aw geez, this is creepy. It seems that a suicide of a woman was thought to be Halloween related.
Many people passed by what they thought was a Halloween decoration dangling in a tree in Delaware, but it turned out to be a whole lot more gruesome when it was discovered that it was, in fact, a body of a 42 year old woman.
The woman apparently used a rope to hang herself approximately 15 feet above a fairly busy road, but people in the neighbourhood had no idea it was more than a Halloween prank until later in the day.
That's one Halloween spoof I wouldn't want to come across. And, I thought Halloween was a scary enough time of the year as it was.
I don't think I would have been able to tell the difference between a real trick and a real suicide. Pranks can get pretty good, you know, and the body could have stayed up there a long time before I'd notice it to be real.
I wonder if the person got the idea from that commercial for that tv show where they show a body dangling in a tree. That's the first thing I thought of when I read the article. So, I guess now that forensic shows don't just aid criminals, but they assist the suicidal as well.
A 40 year old man was accused of putting photos of his genitalia on the cars of women who were inside a shopping centre.
When questioned, the man said that he put them on the cars because he thought the women would "would find it funny".
Apparently, the man originally tried to sell his porn shots on a website, but after failing to do that, he resorted to showing off his "goodies" elsewhere.
The possible fine for such an act could be imprisonment for up to five years and nine months and a fine up to $85,000.
This story brought back some memories for me, all involving my zany cousin. First of which, was the time that this exact thing happened to her. Someone left a photo of his twig and berries on her car windshield and she had to report it to the police. Of course, she had to tell everyone about it because it freaked her out. She thought it was an attack on her personally even though she was parked in an area of town she didn't normal stop at.
Wait, it gets funnier.
Another time, she was parked at home when someone put a huge arse boulder under the back end of her car. Okay, this time, they had to find the boulder and carry from who knows where to her car to set it there on purpose. Trust me, it didn't just roll there. Again, she thought it was an attack on her personally, and I think she was right.
Yet another time, she had opened up the door to her house to a deer head staring up at her from the porch. She flipped out that time. She woke me up in the middle of the night, she called the police, she freaked right out. She definately thought it was an attack on her personally.
I had a good laugh.
What it happened to be was some deer parts, head and entrails, left in the nearby dumpster by some off-season hunters who didn't want to get caught. Either the hunters thought it would be funny to put the head on her doorstep or a rowdy punk walked by the dumpster, saw the "body parts", and put the head on her doorstep.
For whatever reason, these types of things keep happening to my cousin, and I keep hearing about it. All I know is that it has ended up making some good stories for me to share with you.
How would you like to own your own private island?
Well, Andrew Renna doesn't seem to happy about it after a 10,000 square foot island floated over to his place, crushed his fence, and settled on his property.
The island has broken free before in 2001, and options to move the island include towing it.
Talk about a tropical paradise. Must be nice to spend some time in isolation on his own private backyard island. I can hear the guy now, "I spend every weekend BBQ-ing on the island I own".
Kinda reminds me of something out of an old James Bond movie. Has he checked underneath the island for a Dr. Doom or similarly pun-named supervillain?
Who needs Hawaii afterall.
Ew, and I said "ew".
Other than as a gag gift or for a Jeffrey Dahmer-like sicko, this human flesh tofu makes little sense to me.
Who in their right mind wants to have a taste of human flesh? Not me.
It seems that this pseudo-meat product, called Hufu, was originally designed for anthropology students who desired the experience of cannibalism from a bizarre "first hand" perspective, but it was later noted that the general public might like a nibble as well.
The site adds,
"We also found that HufuTM is a great product for cannibals who want to quit. HufuTM is also a great cannibal convenience food -- no more Friday night hunting raids!"
So, there you go. Instead of snacking on a good friend, go pick yourself up some Hufu and party down.
This story reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock's Birds movie; it's a tad creepy.
It seems a 61 year old man in California was found with 300 sick and dead birds in his house. Upon the discovery, the man was operating on a pigeon that he had sedated with vodka. Animal control found droppings everywhere inside the home and about 120 dead pigeons in boxes and bags alongside his house.
The man was reported by PETA and the remaining birds were euthanised because they were either sick or malnourished.
First of all, I'll bet PETA only snitched on the man because they were jealous of the man hogging so many birds. Although it doesn't say who did the euthanising, PETA probably also narced on the man because they were itching to euthanise some more animals.
What was the guy's intention of having so many birds, anyhow? What he planning on creating a super bird? Maybe he was going to stitch bird parts together to make a Frankenstein bird; or perhaps, he thought by putting a whole bunch of birds together, he could bring pterodactyls back into existence.
So, I guess we have to add to the joke about the old spinster with 40 cats. Now we can say the 60-something year old man with 300 birds.
Whoo ya, Canada has something to be proud of again.
Care of Canadian Expatriates, we learn that Canada now holds the 2006 Guinness Book of Records title for longest nipple hair.
20 year old, hockey playing, Tyler Ing's right nipple side is growing a black hair that is 8.89 centimetres (3.5 inches) long.
Hold you head high, Canada, you are somebody.
But, I'm worried. He doesn't do anything special to protect that hair of his. You could ruin us, Tyler, please protect the pride of Canada.
And, whatever you do, don't accidentally mistake your cologne, lotion, or deodorant for nipple hair removal. It could mean the end of your title.
Ya, they make nipple hair remover; I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
Disgruntled employee or PETA attack, lol?
A family in Florida found a bullet in their pork roast.
That sounds like one meal that wouldn't sit well.
Barbie's coming out with adult clothing. It seems that the makers of Barbie, Mattel, plan to make some high-end designer clothing and accessories under the name Barbie Luxe.
This clothing is intended for adults around the ages of 20 and 30 and will have clothing such as jeans priced at $176 and $140 for sweatshirts.
With all the Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh junk out there, I guess Barbie is losing her appeal. Mattel has recently encountered weaker sales and stronger competition, which makes for a tough market and the need to branch out.
They are hoping that the sales of expensive, designer fashions will encourage kids to get back into Barbie after they see adults wearing the gear.
I don't know about you, but I've noticed that kids don't want to wear what the adults are wearing. They typically wear what the teen pop stars are into, and I'm sure hoping teen pop stars won't be wearing adult Barbie clothes.
And, I don't know how many women out there will be able to wear the clothing, either.
That plastic is pretty hard, and not too many women are exactly 36, 24, 36.
Got this news tidbit from Wabi tv5 and I couldn't ignore it.
A Belfast man reportedly exposed himself to customers while delivering the mail. 52-year-old Daniel Beverly was arrested earlier this week. He's charged with four counts of indecent conduct. Police say all of the complaints came from Camden area residents. Beverly was reportedly placed on administrative leave from his job with the U.S. Postal Service prior to his arrest. He was released from jail on $100 bail and is due to appear in court next month.
Wow, if this is how the mail is delivered, I'm answering my door for the mail carrier from now on.
Talk about special delivery.
I guess when that guy delivers the mail, he really does have a package for you.
But, I'd really hate to be him. I mean, just think about it. What are mailmen's worst enemies? Dogs. So, imagine being the mailman with a sausage dangling out for ol' Butch to take a bite out of. Ouch!
Moonbat Monitor brings us an article on the stupid decisions made by overly pc morons. It seems that a coach of Edison high in Fresno was fired for repeating a racial term that the community had told him to say,
"Gonzalez, who is Hispanic, told his players, most of whom are black, that some people in the community told him he could better communicate with his players if he called them the N-word."
The players, I guess, then told their parents and perhaps others in conversation, but mentioned that the coach apologised immediately after and the players stated they weren't offended by it.
You know what I'm thinking. Maybe we need to educate kids about the dangers of telling their parents anything. Is that really what we want? I mean, we encourage open communication between kids and their parents, but the second they do that, it backfires and bites the kids in the butt. Now the kids are out a super coach because someone got their knickers in a knot.
What's this world coming to when kids can't even be open and honest with their families without fear of retribution? It disgusts me, quite frankly, that parents get overly politically correct on many things.
Mellow out, society!
Of course, if our pc police look like this I might rethink this whole thing.
The Wild West must be back again.
It seems a man was believed to have taken over a freight train with a bow and arrow and was only stopped once police shot and wounded the man.
Ye ol' Union Pacific was boarded by the man as it stopped for a signal. The man threatened the only people on board - an engineer and conductor - and was shot at when he pointed his arrow at the police.
You know, as soon as I read this story, I immediately heard the Will Smith version of the Wild, Wild West song, although some people out there might better remember this.
I don't know what the dude was planning on stealing, though. What's to rob from a train in this day and age? What, was he going to syphon out some diesel fuel or something? I don't get it.
If this had happened in Canada, you bet that mean ol' Snidley Whiplash wouldn't get away from our Dudley Do-Right mounties.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Friday [by Conservative Cat]
You won't find nudity here but I've decided to be nice to my readers and I've found a non-scam site where you can view your "needs". Just follow the link link here. Now back to the article...
With all the nudity we see, how does any protest group even think they are swaying people to join them? I mean there are the naked liberal protesters care of Cyber Menace, and then nudity protests by PETA, and of course there are the anti-war nuts.
Is there something special about running around naked that gets your voice heard? I don't think so. I know they're freaks and morons, but I don't know anything about their causes; I just see them as 'tards in the buff. Not only that, but if I'm required to roam around naked without any self-pride or decency, then I don't want to join.
And it certainly doesn't improve your cause's standing when you are a totally butt-freakin'-ugly protester. I mean, some of these people can write the whole message in paragraph form somewhere on their naked bodies; think twice, people, for the sake of our eyes. You're not supporting the cause, you're harming it.
It has been reported that a woman in New York received a ticket for sitting on a park bench because she didn't have a child with her. The woman stated that she didn't see the sign posted that says that adults are prohibited unless accompanied by a child.
Two officers approached the woman asking if she was with a child, and gave her a ticket when she said "no", which could result in up to a $1000 fine and 90 days in jail. It is said that the rule is to keep pedophiles out of the parks, but the city hoped that police would use some common sense when enforcing the rule.
Clearly, with past knowledge, we all know that the police can't be trusted to use their own judgement in these circumstances. Why did they even think police would exhibit common sense when they don't even have sense enough to maintain a healthy weight when "protecting and serving" the public. They can't chase after the criminal perverts in the park, but they sure can give out tickets to innocent ladies relaxing on a bench.
Maybe the woman would have been left alone if she would have sat on the grass, or better yet, peered longingly at some little children from behind a tree. Because it seems that they do their job only when you're a sitting duck, but if you were sneaky like a pervert, you might get away with it.
And I want to know how many perverts got away while the cops were busy being idiots to this woman.
Seriously, people, learn already... carry donuts on you at ALL TIMES!
At a Polish hardware shop, they are offering an hour at a brothel to customers who spend 10,000 ziotys ($4065) on construction material.
Apparently, this idea came to the hardware store boss after the owner of the brothel came into his store for some paintbrushes. He proposed the idea to the bordello mistress who accepted the business deal.
So far, two people have earned the vouchers, but none have utilised them.
I guess this is quite the incentive to go tool shopping:
Go in for tools to get a job done, and come out with a voucher to get another [blow] job done.
I think I'll take one of those electric drills, and I'll also go for a drill at the old bawdyhouse.
Hmmm... can I purchase one of your vice grips, oh, and a coupon for the den of vice.
That hydrolic system I bought at the hardware store sure was uplifting, especially after I cashed in my voucher.
Bought protective gear (goggles) at the hardware store, but brought protective gear to the brothel.
Bought a drill jig at the hardware store, but got jiggy with it at the brothel.
Bought washer screws at the hardware store, but washed after my screw at the brothel.
Bought an "oops" hole arbor from the hardware store, but really hope I don't get an "oops" hole at the brothel.
Bought a leather strop at the hardware store, but got the leather strap at the bordello.
When I go to the hardware store/cathouse, I don't just wanna hammer, I want to nail her.
Hey, they can even make t-shirts to go with this:
Went into the hardware store to get a screwdriver and all I got was a lousy screw.
K, I'm done now.
Union Springs High School in N.Y. still maintains a bit of the free spirit in their students, although the principal didn't take the spectacle too lightly. It seems a 17 year old student decided to streak his way through the school wearing only a gorilla mask.
The student was charged with exposure by police and faces up to 5 days suspension and possibly more punishment after it comes before the superintendant hearing.
I say let the kid go free with a minor hand slap. It's good to know that excitement still exists in schools. Isn't this a bit better than a gun-toting lunatic? Maybe less guns would be showing up in schools if more kids looked for lighthearted, fun (illegal or legal) things to do like this.
He should have worn a Nixon mask, though, it goes more with the 70's streaker attitude:
During a march to demand the impeachment of Richard Nixon, five streakers, wearing only Nixon masks, ran through the good-natured crowd. This tactic cannot be underestimated since Nixon was eventually removed from office. - The New York Times, April 28, 1974
A man in Australia wore a jacket that built up 30,000 volts of static electricity. It seems the man unknowingly built up the electricity merely by walking around town, but when the first shock came off, it sounded like a firecracker to the man.
The burns that were left on the carpet were about an inch in diameter, and fire officials were forced to evacuate the building the man was in. The man had further complications when he got into his car and scorched a piece of plastic that was lying on the floor of the car.
I can't believe this one is true... it's shocking.
Is this a new trend in fashion? Electrifying clothes. I knew that jacket was alluring, but even more so, it's electrifying.
What in the world does that town have in it to cause such static?
I wonder if he's single, maybe he could light up my life.
Apparently, nude beaches are becoming a popular attraction in Canada's Maritimes.
Nudists are beginning to flock to Atlantic Canada in search of some sun and skin sightings during the summer days, and residents are taking advantage of the market by opening resorts and campgrounds in the area.
One enterpreneur states, "There's young, old, middle-class, upper-class" people going to these nudists beaches. I must ask why, though, are they discri