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August 02, 2007

Beyond Bush

beyond_bush

Interesting title with an interesting view - mine, on what life will be like beyond President George W. Bush. Indulge me a tad and forgive the fact please, that I am going to give you pure LaylaElizabethology - but it is good to hear new views - even the ones we may not agree with.

Today I took a cab with my husband to his doctor’s office. Our cabby decided to stay and wait for us. The fellow was friendly and engaging - he was also a conspiracy theory believer, but then why not? He is a Washingtonian so it just comes natural for them to have such far fetched views.

Listening to him on the way to the pharmacy as we drove down the Beltway it occurred to me that this was really a very nice man - a good man - someone I would be glad and proud to call my neighbor.

Lightening struck me at that moment as I was thunderstruck by the realization that other than name calling and hate mongering between the left and right, though so antiquated and outdated as it is referred to still as such-we just are truly not so different.

We all want the same things at the end of the day - believe it or not. Our cabby sounded like you or me. He wanted to be safe and wished to not have to worry about our next inevitable terror attack. That perhaps through Homeland Security and our diligence as responsible citizens we might thwart a would be attack - just as was done recently in the United Kingdom.

What was striking however, is the disdain for Bush. Sadly after seven years of Bush I could relate to how he was feeling because I also felt some of that disdain - on a much smaller scale - but still disdain nonetheless. Bush let so many people down.

It is sad that when the world looks to the United States these days it perceives us as the fore brooding spirit. Unlike Bush’s predecessor Ronald Reagan, Bush does not bring light to the darkness or positives to the negatives. Instead of being a beacon of light for the American people as Reagan once was - Bush has all but become a dying ember.

Looking beyond Bush I am not sure what I envision. I am not ready for a Democrat to replace a Republican - even a failing Republican at that. The Democratic version of the war on terror is more like the soap opera, “Days of Our Lives” - you won’t know one day from the next - the days just run all together. That blur and lack of vision is scary, and rightly so. No one should settle for less than some 60% vision and 40% honesty. The two combined would be even better, but even this is appearing to be far in the distance.

Truly I envision an end within the next three years to the ongoing Iraq debacle. I was for the war on terror - I am still for the war on terror, but I can no longer support fighting in Iraq when the government there is doing so little to help itself. The Iraqi’s themselves are not respecting our troops and continue trading in the troops to al-Qaeda the way the West trades in its cattle.

I said recently that this is the right war, but in the wrong place. A reader asked me what would have been the right place? Honestly, I can say Afghanistan - beyond that I lose sight of the Iraq the President envisioned and elaborated upon to the American people. It does not exist and may never come into fruition. I am not saying Bush lied - but I do say he just did not tell the whole truth.

Time will tell us in the coming years how President Bush is judged by history. As for right now - I am really looking forward to beyond Bush - there must be light at the end of this tunnel for the American peoples sake.

Yes, beyond Bush, I like that.

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July 24, 2007

Ding dong the witch is back

Ding dong the witch is back!

Ding dong the witch is back and this time she is decrying about impeachment of President Bush and her promise to run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Does this deranged woman really believe anyone would vote for her? Of course she does in the sick mind she lives in. I would feel sorry for her if it were not for the very clear and present fact that she has disgraced her son Casey who chose to go into the military and chose to go to Iraq. I am sorry Casey died. No mother should ever lose a son or daughter, but not all mothers or fathers act like that witch.

Every word that proceeds out of her mouth is like cyanide. Her words poison and how thinking people continue to believe the warped rhetoric spewed from her potty mouth is beyond comprehension. Well, lets just say it is beyond the comprehension of any thinking and reasonable person.

You hate the war in Iraq, you hate the president, you even like Nancy Pelosi...I can live with that, but I cannot continue to live with the likes of the moronically insane Cindy Sheehan's of this world.

Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan on Monday moved another step - actually several thousand of them - toward carrying out her promise to run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi because the California Democrat won't consider impeachment proceedings against President Bush.

Sheehan and about 200 other war protesters began walking from Arlington National Cemetery to the Capitol Hill office of Rep. John Conyers, chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, where any impeachment proceedings would begin. Sheehan said she would ask Conyers to initiate impeachment proceedings against both Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.

"Impeachment is not a fringe movement, it is mandated in our Constitution; Nancy Pelosi had no authority to take it off the table, " Sheehan told her group of orange-clad activists Monday. "If Nancy Pelosi doesn't do her constitutionally mandated job by midnight ... I will announce that I'm going to run against her."

Across the street, about 20 people demonstrated against Sheehan and the other anti-war protesters.

Sheenhan, whose 24-year-old son Casey was killed in Iraq, has been saying for two weeks that she would seek to oust Pelosi from office by running against her as an independent in her San Francisco district if Pelosi didn't change her mind by July 23 on trying to impeach Bush.

Conyers, D-Mich., introduced a bill last term calling on Congress to determine whether there are grounds for impeaching Bush. Pelosi has steadfastly dismissed any talk of impeachment, saying Democrats should focus their efforts on ending the war in Iraq. (Source)

Tell me did I die and go to "moonbat heaven?"

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July 20, 2007

Media Insantiy

There has been a lot of news insanity of late. Hillary is ticked because the Pentagon did not stop, drop, and roll when she wanted classified information regarding an Iraq pullout. Then there are all the unending polls - Hillary tops Obama, and Edwards. Of course then you must know that Giuliani tops McCain, Thompson, and Romney. The lovely polls that are wrong half the time have the election won by Hillary beating out Giuliani in 2008.

Wouldn't it be nice if the media did not know something - just once? But the media knows it all and Fox News has become the biggest culprit all the while claiming exemption because they are "fair and balanced." So much for fair and balanced, I mean if you are fair and balanced that means - that says - you are capitulating with the enemies of western civilization.

There is no longer one media outlet that can be completely trusted and Fox News has blown the trust of many Americans. How many more blond haired - blue eyed bimbos report to us our news before we ask are they all cloned?

faces_bias.jpg


Here is substantial proof of just how biased and liberal our media is. This also serves to prove what lengths they will go to for their liberal causes.

Via Media Bias Basics:

The Liberal Media Exposed (PDF Report): Formatted, easy-to-print pages detailing the key results of nearly two dozen surveys about media bias. The report also includes quotes from top journalists denying a liberal media bias, plus comments from journalists acknowledging the problem. Updated May 2007.

How the Media Vote. Surveys of journalists’ self-reported voting habits show them backing the Democratic candidate in every presidential election since 1964, including landslide losers George McGovern, Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis. In 2004, a poll conducted by the University of Connecticut found journalists backed John Kerry over George W. Bush by a greater than two-to-one margin. See Section.

Journalists’ Political Views. Compared to their audiences, journalists are far more likely to say they are Democrats or liberals, and they espouse liberal positions on a wide variety of issues. A 2004 poll by the Pew Research Center for The People & The Press found five times more journalists described themselves as “liberal” as said they were “conservative.” See Section.

How the Public Views the Media. In increasing numbers, the viewing audiences recognize the media’s liberal tilt. Gallup polls have consistently found that three times as many see the media as “too liberal” as see a media that is “too conservative.” A 2005 survey conducted for the American Journalism Review found nearly two-thirds of the public disagreed with the statement, “The news media try to report the news without bias,” and 42 percent of adults disagreed strongly. See Section.

Admissions of Liberal Bias. A number of journalists have admitted that the majority of their brethren approach the news from a liberal angle. During the 2004 presidential campaign, for example, Newsweek’s Evan Thomas predicted that sympathetic media coverage would boost Kerry’s vote by “maybe 15 points,” which he later revised to five points. In 2005, ex-CBS News President Van Gordon Sauter confessed he stopped watching his old network: “The unremitting liberal orientation finally became too much for me.” See Section

Denials of Liberal Bias. Many journalists continue to deny the liberal bias that taints their profession. During the height of CBS’s forged memo scandal during the 2004 campaign, Dan Rather insisted that the problem wasn’t his bias, it was his anybody who criticized him. “People who are so passionately partisan politically or ideologically committed basically say, ‘Because he won’t report it our way, we’re going to hang something bad around his neck and choke him with it, check him out of existence if we can, if not make him feel great pain,’” Rather told USA Today in September 2004. “They know that I’m fiercely independent and that’s what drives them up a wall.” See Section.

Evidence of Bias in News Coverage. The Media Research Center continuously reports on instances of the liberal bias in the mainstream media. Daily CyberAlerts offer a regular roundup of the latest instances of biased reporting, while our NewsBusters blog allows Web users to post their own reactions. Media Reality Check fax reports showcase important stories that the news media have distorted or ignored, and several times each year the MRC publishes Special Reports offering in-depth documentation of the media’s bias on specific issues.


For a media reality check of weekly stories that were distorted or ignored click here.

The insanity marches on.

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May 29, 2007

Some Days Are Better Than Others

And, it seems that "someone's" been cleaning house lately as we say good riddance, I mean goodbye to some horrendous morons.

First, we saw moron #13 (how fitting), Saddam Hussein, dangling to his death on December 30th, 2006 for his gruesome acts against humanity.

Already 2007 started looking like a Happy New Year!

Then, there was the loss of moron #12, Anna Nicole Smith, who bit the big one with her pill OD.

Gee, we didn't see that one coming a mile away.

The third moron to go was #17, Paris Hilton, as she FINALLY lands herself in jail for drinking and driving. Hopefully we won't be seeing that numbskull for a while.

And, we can honestly say that society's really teaching our young ones the difference between right and wrong; that is, after they get off the hook time and time again for a crime because the cops can be paid off or simply just don't do their job properly (yes, I'm generalising).

Next, there was the sigh of relief as moron #61, Rosie O'Donnell, left the daytime talk show, The View.

Thank goodness we don't have to see that hideous face on the tv screen again for, at least, a while.
Rosie O'Donnell shot

And, now, Woo Hoo, departure of all departures, CINDY "THE ULTIMATE MORON" SHEEHAN says goodbye to whining and b*tching for profit due to the death of her son.

Cindy Sheehan Osama Bin Laden

Good riddance, Sheehan. I hope you mean it!

It's just unfortunate that you've tainted some good acreage in Crawford, Texas with your cr*p. I'm sure now nothing will be able to grow there again for centuries.

Cindy Sheehan Fat

Here's to hoping 2007 says adieu to more sniveling weenies.

*clink*

And don't come back!

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May 21, 2007

Victoria Day

A friend of mine, Jim, recently emailed me, recognising Victoria Day, and asked what it was all about. So, I thought I'd publish a little of my response in case any of you are wondering what it is at this point.

Basically, Victoria Day is the day we use to celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday, as well as whoever is the present day queen or king (ie. Queen Elizabeth II's 'official' birthday is today, but it's not her actual birthday).

More than anything, it's a good excuse to have a day off from work, lol.

It's also called May long weekend, which is our first warm long weekend after a long and cold winter, so we get out there and hit the beaches, travel, go camping, etc.

It's also a great time for cops to hand out speeding tickets, lol (to fulfill their quota).

So, that's a little about Canuckland.

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May 10, 2007

The Deal Or No Deal Canada Prize Board

I saw a commercial about that game show coming to Canada, and thought I'd share the new prize board with you all.

deal or no deal canada

Go for the 'big money' - a Year of Beer!

By the way, what's with Howie Mandel's little fist handshake thing, also known as 'The Touch', aka 'Knucks', aka The Fist Bump, and who knows what else it's called.

Does he have some phobia about shaking people's hands or something? (Probably, I mean, doesn't half of Hollyweird have some bizarre hang up?)

fist bump

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February 14, 2007

Where Have Sam And Butch Been Lately?

I know I've been a little slack on the blogging, and so has Butch at 123beta, but I never thought anyone would figure out why.

Leave it to Debbie at Right Truth to use some excellent Private Investigator skills to track us down.

After doing some exhaustive research this is what she found...

SamButchSmall

May your Valentine's Day be full of Whips, Chains, and Squeegees!


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Happy Valentine's Day [by 123beta]

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December 25, 2006

Christmas Tagged

I've been tagged by The Hill Chronicles and thought I'd better do this one or else I might not getting any treats from Santy Claus. So, here goes....

123beta explains,

Ok, this is how it works: The player (me) must list 3 things that I would love to get for Christmas. Then I must list 3 things that I definitely do not want to get for Christmas. Then I tag 5 friends and list their names. The one I tag needs to write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes then tag 5 more people. They must also clarify all the rules. When you tag someone you need to leave a comment that says “you’ve been Christmas tagged!” in their comments and tell them to read your blog. Ok everybody…
Of course, as with other memes, I do not tag others; so, if you choose to participate in this tag, please let me know in the comment section below, and I'll be sure to check yours out.

The three things I would love for Christmas:

1. All moonbats beaten to a pulp (a bloody one, preferably - just trying to spread some holiday cheer).

2. A little more time in the day to myself *ARG*, lol, *ARG*.

3. Clearly, a Jaguar xjscv12, as I do every year.

The three things I do not want for Christmas:

1. Used underwear - as if getting ginch for Christmas isn't bad enough.

2. To be stuck on a plane flight with the final moron, Rosie O'Donnell.

3. Country music album - ANY AND ALL! *blech*


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Good gifts / bad gifts [by Culturetastic]
Bernie's Revenge Meme [by 123beta]

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November 30, 2006

Santa Delivers The Goods

Santa Claus with toys
Hat Tip: Thanks goes to The View From The Nest for inspiring me to write about Santy Claus.

I am assuming (hoping) that my primary reader base is adults (considering the content I often post), nonetheless I want to raise awareness that NORAD tracks Santa.

Yes, now you can go online to the NORAD (The North American Aerospace Defense Command) military site to track Santa's progress.

NORAD uses four high-tech systems to track Santa - radar, satellites, Santa Cams, and jet fighter aircraft.
And, this is legit stuff folks! The View From The Nest tells us all about it.

So, let your kiddies know about the NORAD site - your kids, nephews, nieces, grandkids - anyone who may be interested in tracking the progress of that mystical man's journey.

And, while perusing the net, I encountered a few other sites you may want to share with the wee ones (as with all things related to children online, check the sites yourself first to make sure they're appropriate):

Claus.com
The North Pole
And, learn all about Kris Kringle as wikipedia.
Santa's Journal
Santa's Workshop
Write and Email Santa (perhaps best to do this with adult supervision, if you trust it)

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November 20, 2006

Twas the night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House
Pelosi was a stirring, with Murtha the louse;

The Dems were asking to hang George without care,
In hopes the troops would soon be back from over there;

While the Dems have been known to be way off their meds,
The voters took to replacing a few Republican talking heads;

The voters fell into the nastiest of traps,
With a choice between loonies or pork belly flaps;

With pork belly spending getting fatter and fatter,
The voters didn’t know what to do with the matter;

Continue reading "Twas the night before Christmas" »

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November 08, 2006

Online Affairs Option For Adulterers

Oh ya, gotta love this website.

It's completely designed to encourage adultery for married people.

I don't know about you, but I'm disgusted.

I saw the commercial on tv some time ago and thought "that's sick"; profitting off illegal and immoral acts.

But, what's funny about this is that the owner's wife supports him in his money-making scheme:

Not illegal, but ill-gotten, gain seems to be of utmost importance to Morgenstern and his attractive wife, Marissa, who told CNN she was Darren’s “cheerleader.”
Ya, how much of a cheerleader will she be the day he uses that site against her and cheats himself?

Idiots.

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October 03, 2006

Naughty, Sexy, Naked....

A lot of people have noticed that many arab countries, for some reason, come to their blogs looking for sex. So, I've thought of a way to enable the perverts of the world to get where they need to go while accommodating the web owner's wishes.

Below are just a few of the many possibilities for web owners to put up at their place.

To see a naughty, sexy, naked young woman with fetishes, you must choose one of the following links:

1) I am a muslim extremist and hereby denounce terrorism fully and agree to fight with the west against other extremists in exchange for clicking here to see a hot sexy... woman (or goat).

2) I am an anti-war type who hereby agrees to fully support the war effort in exchange for clicking here to see a hot sexy... woman.

3) I am a normal horny, non-extremist, non-antiwar type guy who agrees to visit and comment on Samantha Burns.com more frequently in exchange for clicking here to see a hot sexy... woman.

What would your 4th option be?

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September 11, 2006

Remembering

Remembering 9 11 Canada US Flag This is just a post of remembrance to all those who lost their lives, and those who lost their loved ones, to extremist evil.

A lot of people need a lot of support to get through the day, so please be kind to your fellow man, woman, and child.

Unless, of course, the people you come across are terrorists, then you can kick their arses (or worse).

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August 31, 2006

Fantasy

If you missed it, The Ten O'Clock Scholar explained male fantasies a bit for us in a previous article commentary regarding a man on man photoshop job, and I was just wondering if other guys concur with this notion.

Though speaking as a man, I don't think women fantasize about man-on-man action; I think the photoshopper was just having fun turning the tables on the standard male fantasy of girl/girl.

Now, you might ask, what's up with that? The simple answer is it's the next stage of voyeurism: seeing not just naked women, but people having sex! Making them both female however avoids having to see some hairy dude, and protects the viewer from any accusations of latent male homosexuality.

While I'm at it, I'll also explain the "twins" fetish for ya! Of course, if one woman is good, two are better -- double everything! Hence the standard "I want two women" fantasy. But, one woman is complicated, so two are even harder to understand and relate to. What to do? Aha! Twins! It's ONE woman, with TWO bodies! Problem solved!

The icky fact that they are really sisters is mentally suppressed; they are simply thought of as a single entity.

See how the male mind works?

You're probably sorry now! :-)

But, can anyone explain my 5 guys with me fantasy?

;-D

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August 23, 2006

Domain Names Still Alive

No offense meant to those who suffer from it, but I'm going to have some fun here nonetheless (not that I wouldn't do it anyhow; everything's fair game here).

Go ahead and stake your claim on this domain that I'm about to hurl on you:

SplurgeAndPurge.com

I don't know about you, but I think this would make for a great bulimia website.

And, I guess it's no surprise that the domains listed a year ago are still available.

Get them while they're hot!

Top 10 Domains You Would Expect to Have Been Registered

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July 31, 2006

Bad TV

So, what's with all these old, virtually retired celebrities coming back with reality shows?

I mean, first we have The Osbournes, and perhaps I'm missing a few, but now there's Hogan Knows Best, Breaking Bonaduce, and My Fair Brady.

Of course, note they are all either from mtv or vh1.

And, I think the worst part about it is they play these shows when there is absolutely nothing else on tv. Though, I'm sure this is the only possible way they can get viewership because it all sucks royally, and I couldn't see any of it being successful in a prime time spot.

But, then again, I don't get any part of the reality show craze.

It's all suck-tacular to me.

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July 20, 2006

The Truth About Troops Home Fast, And Other News

Got this idea from Right Wing Howler, check out that one too.

Cindy Sheehan fat woman

Credit goes to MR.BIG for the entire production.

See also:
Western Standard: If a tree fasts in a forest...
Michelle Malkin: How's the Fast Going?
AbbaGav: Sheehan Announces Hunger Strike, Michael Moore Strangely Silent
the squiggler: How do you spell hypocrite?
Simi Valley Sophist: Fasting Like They Fight

Previous/Related: The Non- Moonbat "To Do" List, Crazy Sam #32, The Appalling Wicked Witch Of The West, ANNOUNCEMENT: 2005 MOTY Results, SHUT. YOUR. PIE. HOLE. A. BIT. MOORE, MICHAEL.

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July 13, 2006

Sweet 'Tard

It's link the heck out of Radioactive Jam day, lol. Well, I did it in my PERV post and am doing it now, so close enough.

Anyhow, I read an article over there and thought it was worth a looksy and a bit of discussion.

Overheard Secondhand

RaJ asks,

A couple with a dearly loved Down’s Syndrome child refer to the little tyke as their “sweet ‘tard.?

Is it okay to think that’s really funny and/or laugh?

Some believe it is an insult to the mentally challenged, whereas others find it frickin' funny.

What do you think?

Personally, I love the taste of sweet 'tards, I mean sweet tarts, so I don't see what the big problem is.

*gasp*

As you may know, I pride myself of being un-PC, so I have no shame in seeing the humour in it.

Political Correctness can suck my arse!

What says you?

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July 12, 2006

Environmentally Friendly Superheroes

Yeesh!

Somebody will have to shoot me if they ever make a movie based on this "action" cartoon show: Captain Planet.

For those unaware, Captain Planet and the Planeteers was an animated series in the 90's - a Saturday morning cartoon if you will - based on environmental issues and pollution topics.

In the show, there are 5 kids with special rings that represent something environmental: water, earth, wind, whatever. And, with their rings, they can summon a superhero who conquers the major disasters.

At the end of every episode, they discuss environmentally sound initiatives that all people can do to "save" the planet from pollution and the like.

For example, they teach the kids about recycling, composting, and sh*t.

Ya, just wait til the enviro-freaks get their grubby hands on it and put this stinker onto the big screen.

It was a pretty popular show in the early 90's, and full of controversy, so I can imagine some enviro-dork remembering it and thinking to exploit it and the children who'd be watching it.

Of course, if they did make a movie like this, I'm sure they could get more corny, activist-nutty actors like they did for the cartoon. In the cartoon they had Martin Sheen, Whoopi Goldberg, Meg Ryan, Sting, and Ed Asner to name a few.

*shudder*

Anyhow, all I can do is hope to heck that that day never comes.

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June 06, 2006

50 Questions: The Adult Meme

I wasn't asked to do this one, but saw it at Cyber Chocolate's place and decided to give it a shot because the questions are more unique than most.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
The dreaded student loan. B*st*rds keep wanting my money!

2. Favorite place to eat a romantic dinner?
Ro-man-tic? Ummm… Chez Wendy’s?

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
You expect me to remember? Probably in my early 20s anyhow.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and woke up in a strange place?
Well, at least that I didn’t do.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Something-or-other. Or, was it Miss?

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Getting more edumacated.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A Jaguar xjscv12 owner. Oh, and a teacher.

8. How many schools did you attend up through grade 12?
Two: elementary and one high school.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
HA! Ya, I’m wearing a shirt right now. Uh, sure.

10. Gas prices! First thought?
That’s not even appropriate to say online.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, where would you go and who would you take?
Well, I’m still a sucker for my home town, but Hawaii’s pretty nice and relaxing. But, taking someone’s a little more difficult because I’d like everyone I know to be there to visit with.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Same as it is every morning, F*CK!!!

13. Last thought before falling asleep last night?
Ah, comfy, comfy bed.

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Is none a style?

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Non-holey boxer briefs. Well, holes for the legs and body, but that’s it.

Continue reading "50 Questions: The Adult Meme" »

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May 29, 2006

Rrrrraawwwrrrr!

Notice the blogad to the left there.

Cool, eh.

Go ahead and click on the link. I promise he won't bite.

When you're at the site, you'll get the chance to see live animal camera feeds. I won't tell you too much about it because I want you to head on over there and take a peek for yourself.

I'm going to go look for one with turtles, or turders as I call them.

Don't ask why.

But, anyhow, by checking out the sites in my ad spaces, you're helping to keep this blog running. So, I'd greatly appreciate any clicks you do - and this one has cwoot wittow animals. And, not to mention some ferocious people eaters... rrrrraaaaaaawwwrrrrrr!

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MR.BIG's Brain Is Slowly Frying

... and that is why I'm asking for your help.

You see, MR.BIG has always been the one to give me cartoon ideas to draw and post here on my blog.

Generally, I draw a blank as to what to draw, so I ask him if he has any ideas and then I draw them, but lately, he's been as stumped as me. Okay, part of the reason is because I'm taking on other projects in my own life, and apparently, so is MR.BIG and he really can't help me with my blog as much anymore.

Anyhow, blah, blah, blah, what I'm asking from my readers is to submit some cartoon ideas - detailed or not so detailed - and I'll see what I can do with the ideas.

As you may know from previous Crazy Sam Comics, I am willing to take on a challenge and thrive best when the cartoon is controversial. However, I enjoy drawing variety, too, so give me what you've got.

Although I probably won't be able to get to everyones (assuming many of you will help me out a little - yes, consider this virtual begging), I will give it my best shot.

This is a new attempt for me, so don't be shocked to see explosive failure on my part :-D

You can send the cartoon ideas via email - sam @ this site - or in the comment section below. For my email addie, if you haven't figured it out, check the FAQ.

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May 23, 2006

A Year Closer To Old Fart-ism

I've been informed that Graumagus from Frizzen Sparks is getting another year closer to his ultimate goodbye (heh).

If you'll remember, he had created the Retrosexual Code in 2003. If you don't remember or don't know about him, it's a worthy read; the retrosexual is the kind of man I'd like to meet.

Here's a taste:

A Retrosexual will buy feminine hygine products if he has to, but only under protest. This falls under unpleasant things you have to fucking DEAL with. Get some Hagen-Daas while your at it.
Ya, don't forget the Hagen-Daas.

But, that's besides the point. This article is about aging.

Graumagus is turning 35.

And, to Graumagus, 35 means midlife crisis time.

I think it's the perfect time for a good, old-fashioned, midlife crisis. To do something utterly stupid that will probably embarrass me for years to come.
Now, what's extra special about this is that he is holding a contest for everyone, and anyone, to participate in.

Your job: to come up with the best, most outragious, midlife crisis-themed activity, action, or otherwise.

YOU are going to choose what utterly stupid shit I do to celebrate my downward slide into the permanent dirtnap.
So, have at it folks.

It's important that you read the Graumagus rules and information before entering the contest, but you could be the winner of a surprise prize and have some blogospheric fame if your entry wins it. As Graumagus says,

Spread the word far and wide, folks. This is your one and only chance to fuck with my life for your own twisted amusement.
(h/t: Drunken Wisdom who doesn't want a link, but would like you to go visit his blogfather, Frizzen Sparks, and enter the contest)

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May 03, 2006

Yup, I'm Back. Aw Nuts. I Mean... Aw Nuts.

Well, I'm back and playing the catch up game right now.

Thanks, Lilo, for the ad clicky support and thanks to everyone who stuck around to read my stuff - old and new (the stuff, not the readers) ;-D

I tried to keep as much new material scheduled as possible, so I hope it wasn't too boring last week.

And, I have no idea what's going on in the world right now because I wanted to come back completely fresh and just wanted to get away from it all for a bit. But, I'm back and ready to play some hardball, so I'll be surfing some of my regular blogs, as well as reading some new stuff out there.

Hopefully, there's some good sh*t going on in the blogosphere for me to rag on.

Fun stuff.

I'm also looking to boost readership, so if anyone has some good (and cost effective) ideas or article links to share, I'd be grateful, and I'm sure my other readers would appreciate it too.

So, ya, this article is pretty boring, but good news about my vacation... I got me a new pair of socks.

Comfy, too.

Lol.

Just had to add that.

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May 01, 2006

Cheesy College Course Revisited

Be A Better Male 101

Day 1: The 3 T's
Toilet Paper
It may grow on trees, but only you can replace the roll in the bathroom.
Group discussion and role play
Toothpaste
Tonight you will learn the crusty truth of why the cap must be put on the tube after use.
Practising with the tube
Trimming The Lawn
Will the grass disintegrate on its own?
Lawn Mowing Simulation Demonstration

DAY 2: Laundry
Underwear
Learn that it's more hygienic to buy more than 1 pair of underwear and to wear a new pair daily.
Class field trip to the mall
Washer
If it sits in the washer long enough will it magically transfer itself to the dryer?
Panel debate
Folding
Learn to fold in 3 easy steps
Hands-on experience
Bonus lesson:
Real Men Bring Them Flowers
Real life testimonials of men who didn't die as a result.

PS - Got this idea from Holly's Fight For Justice, thanks Holly.

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April 19, 2006

12 Years Later

12 years after the Rwandan genocide, the people are still struggling with the aftermath.

A majority of those suffering are children, and it is from our first world countries' neglect that the devastation was so deep.

For those unaware, in 1994 the UN sent in a minority of peacekeepers without allowing them to discharge weapons - along with Canadian hero (although he doesn't call himself such) Romeo Dallaire - to try and negotiate an accord between the tribes.

But, it was to no avail.

Almost one million people were slaughtered in the genocide between the Tutsi and the Hutu clans.

It was at the hands of the US president, Bill Clinton, that any real aid was denied (a decision he claims now to be a "personal failure").

Anyhow, this is why I am writing in support of The High Places. He and his wife are heading to Rwanda to help fix up a school or more while there and to provide health training to the teaching staff.

I won't say much more on the topic, but I encourage you to read The High Places article, which has a brief survival story of a young Tutsi woman now living in North America, as well as a discussion on the blog that they may be able to maintain while helping out there.

Any support you can provide is desired, and I'm sure, greatly appreciated.

"Nearly every child there witnessed or participated in the torture and killings."
And, The High Places is going there to help bring a little stability, care, and support to those children. Good on ya.

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March 27, 2006

Where Would I Be Without Me Knapsake?

I always find it amusing how those who leave brutish, spiteful, and just plain retarded commentary on people's blogs never have the balls to put in a website name.

Now, I know there are innumerable people who legitimately don't have a blog and can't leave their blog address - and that's just fine with me - but does anyone else notice how the people who have something completely ignorant and inane NEVER have a blog site?

At least, that's been my experience.

Sounds a little peculiar. I mean, I rarely, if ever, see a jerky comment that leads somewhere. It's almost like they're ashamed of what they have commented, or perhaps they fear people going to their blog and giving them back a little of what they put out.

What I want to know is if you can be a snot and say something like that, why can't you take it at your own place?

I guess I can't expect them to stand for something, though, if they don't even display grace or pride in their commentary.

All in all, I suppose it's good for the rest of us, knowing that we don't have to go to their blog and read their absurd blather.

Or, perhaps most nutjobs don't actually have blogs. That's also good for us so that we don't have to mistakenly hit on it while searching the topic 'moonbat's gone wild'.

*shudder* (now there's an image I'll never get out of my head)

And, oh yes, what's a knapsake?

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March 20, 2006

Speaking Of Cruelty

Related to an earlier post today on the hunting of seal up north, and how ignorant some can be simply because they're cute or have faces - whatever - here is a PERVs take on it.

This is what they want you to see...

Seal Huntingseal

Noooo... meestah, pwease don't huwt da quoot wittow seaw.

Let's ignore the delicious meat inside, and the importance of its completely valuable existence as our consumable product, and let's focus on those cute, glossy, baby eyes. We're all suckers for those fluffy animals with 'puppy-dog eyes', aren't we?

But, what the animal rights freaks really don't want you to see is this...

croppickingchoppin' broccoli

Crop Picking, ACK! SUCH CRUELTY MUST BE STOPPED! And, the torture continues at this broccoli processing plant. It's enough to make me wretch!

MURDERERS!!!

And, veggies have faces, too. Why, oh why, would anyone want to harm these little cuties?
veggie talespeas in podfaceVegetables[1]

I'm sorry to all you PERVs out there who may be in tears right now at the sight of the mutilation of those vulnerable veggies, but I had to display the hypocrisy.

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March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Let the pinching commence.
green
I'm wearing my green, are you?

Hey, when they produce marijuana in Ireland, do they call it Leprechaun's Pot?

So, some things to do today:

1. Go around pinching the butts of attractive people who aren't wearing green. Not exactly the best 'come on', but it's St. Patty's Day and you may just get away with it.

2. Drink green beer until you start puking green, then drink some more.

3. And my favourite, you can waste your time trying to find leprechauns at The Leprechaun Watch.

leprechaun


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
How Irish Are You? [by 123beta]

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March 14, 2006

Tastes Like Moo-Cow

prime rib
You know, I was driving along today and saw a cow wandering in a pasture, and I thought to myself,

"aw, he's cute... but I'd still eat him".
Then, it was like I could actually taste a charbroiled steak on my palette as I imagined which part of the cow that piece of meat came from.

I don't know how anybody in their right mind could pass up a nice, juicy, tender piece of meat.

Okay, so I'm not comfortable with eating just any kind of meat - I typically stick to the meats I know - but I still eat the stuff in general.

How can anyone not like the flavour and texture? I just don't get it.

I mean, I have a vegetarian relation and it drives me crazy when she quivers every time meat comes near her. She's eaten meat in her past, although she never really enjoyed it, but come on, what's not to enjoy?

I suppose this is about as perplexing to me as was my slutty friend (written about below).

Bah, oh well. I guess it just means there's more meat for me.

Perhaps I shouldn't complain so much about those veggi-tards.

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It's Almost Like Counting Sheep...

but not quite.

Speaking of counting sexual experiences, you know I once had a friend who used to mark all of her partners on a calendar just to keep track of them all.

I know this seems like a bit of gossip, but I got a feeling her tracking system had something to do with if she were to get pregnant or AIDS or something. But man, what a slut.

I wasn't around for most of her rendezvous, but when I did go to visit her at her place, I would notice her calendar by her front door. It was riddled with names circled on whatever day she was with each person.

You know, like Monday, January 14 and the name John Doe was circled on that day, Wednesday, January 16, Bob Smith. Thursday, January 17, Frodo Baggins. Whatever.

I don't know how many frickin' partners she had in one year, but I'll bet she exceeded the sex rate of most, if not all those countries listed.

Pretty gross.

And, I always wondered why she had such low self-esteem. I mean, that's got to be the reason for such promiscuity, right?

From what I knew of her, she had a family quite like mine. Her dad worked similar to mine in hours and had a personality similar to my dads, her mom was an at home mom like mine - again similar personality, her parents didn't abuse her in any way that was noticeable, so I really couldn't make sense of what her problem was to allow herself to be used like that.

And, she never talked about it to me like she was bragging, or like she needed sex all the time. And, she wasn't wealthy or spending beyond her means, so I'm pretty sure it wasn't prostitution.

By all accounts that I could gather, she was merely an easy mark for bar-hopping guys.

I know this isn't one of my usual article writings, but this person really did baffle me, and I'm pretty good at understanding human behaviours.

Perhaps someone could clue me in one day.

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March 13, 2006

Shaking Hands With The Self-Righteous

I think I'm coming to terms with PETA/environmental freaks.

(almost barfed a little saying that, so maybe it's not completely true)

(also, sorry if I made you gag, too)

I'm saying this because I'm thinking they are perhaps the ying to my yang.

Whereas they are the resource conservationists, I am the ultimate resource squanderer (and loving it, I might add).

I have no shame in consume, consume, consume.

Oh sure, I have my pet peeves, like wanting the lights shut off as soon as anyone leaves the room. But, in my defense, it's more about saving a few cents than anything else.

Now, if you can't tell by the title of this article, I am not writing to inform you that I've given in to those freaks.

Far from it.

I suppose, really, this is just rambling, but I did have an awareness of how polar opposite I am to those freaky-deakies.

The PETA/environmental nuts out there should really be thanking me rather than condemning my behaviours.

Why? Because I am helping to maintain a balance on this earth. With their fanatic over-conservation, this world must be made whole by my over-consumption.

As opposite as we are, we create harmony by existing on the same earth.

So, freak away, you PETA/environmental doofuses because I'm right here maintaining the balance - all the while mocking you.

Just had to share that with you.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Their Spring is Broken [by I Am, Therefore I Think]

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March 08, 2006

Hey Look, It's Snowing

Why is it that after every touching moment on tv Christmas episodes, someone always ends the show saying, "hey look, it's snowing"?

For example, I was watching M*A*S*H and they were having a Christmas episode and at the end of a really touching moment, someone looked outside, and said the standard phrase to everyone, "hey look, it's snowing".

Thanks, really, I'm so glad they made that awareness for me. I had no idea what those white flakes were. Please, describe this snow phenomenon to me in greater detail, as I have no idea what you're talking about.

And, while I'm being sarcastic and condescending, I'm compelled to add, awwww... what a precious moment. *insert single shedded tear here*

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February 23, 2006

You Bet Your A$$

I find it quite odd, and a little amusing, that there is a new game show called You Bet Your Ass, and they openly say the word "ass" on the show.

The reason I find it odd is because despite the show's openness to saying that word, the tv guide just calls it You Bet Your A.

Isn't that word common usage in this day and age? I mean, I don't know a single kid or adult who hasn't used that word these days - in front of their parents or anytime.

And, what makes it so okay for the word to be on a cable tv show, but not okay to be on a cable tv guide?

It's just ass, and everybody has one.

Well, I looked further into this show, which has an online description of the show.

Isn't it just so Canadian that the winning prize is a colossal $500, unless you decide to double down for a huge $1000 windfall.

That's frickin' hilarious.

That sort of win is hardly worth the bus trip out to the show in the first place.

And remember, that's in Canadian dollars, to boot. So, what's that, like a US$300 win after taxes or something?

Woo hoo.

I don't know, even if I won, I'd kind of still feel like a loser, lol.

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February 22, 2006

Got (Choco) Milk?

choco milk
I have determined what the perfect food/drink is, and it's chocolate milk.

Believe it or not, chocolate milk has everything to sustain life.

It has ALL of the 5 basic food groups, and I'm am going to use my new revelation as an excuse to drink chocolate milk for the rest of my life.

1. it is a dairy product (duh)

2. it is a vegetable (well, the chocolate part comes from the cocoa plant, and veggies come from plants; therefore, it must be a veggie)

3. it is a meat product (well, the dairy part comes from cows, which is a meat product, so that's close enough, right?)

4. it is a grain product (cows eat grains, so....)

5. it is a fruit (guess what also eats fruit, that's right, it's cattle)

So, there you have it. Chocolate milk is a daily source of all essential food groups.

But, somehow I don't think Hal and Joanne would be happy about my new found awareness.

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February 21, 2006

Easy Taggy Thingy

I'm just a girl is holding my teddy bear hostage if I don't do this tag thing, so I'll do it.

Okay okay, she's not holding any teddy bear of mine hostage... Lovsy is safe right here beside me, aren't you Wovsy, my wittow beawy-poo.

Alright, I'm off that insane bit - don't know what happened there - and will now explain the tag.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

I'm sure I've done this one at least once before, but some things have changed since then. I'll list the artist and title, and also whether I'm listening to just the one song or the whole album.

My 7 Songs Presently Are:

Will Smith's "Switch" (rest of album stinks)

AC/DC: "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" (whole album)

AC/DC: "Stiff Upper Lip" (whole album)

Velvet Revolver: "Fall to Pieces" (whole album)

The White Stripes: "Seven Nation Army" (whole album)

Denis Leary: "Asshole" (whole album)

Uncle Kracker: "In a Little While" (whole album)

Bonus - Kiss: "Rock and Roll All Night" (whole greatest hits album)

Oh yes, and once again, I won't tag anyone, but if you choose to do this one, leave me a comment and I'll go check it out.

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February 20, 2006

Give Them Some Credit

Oh joy, oh bliss. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I received my first Starbucks Visa application form.

That's right, Starbucks has, for some reason, teamed up with Visa to bring us credit cards.

Why?

Not to suck more money out of my already broke a$$.

No, it couldn't be that.

So, looking at this thing, it seems that I could get a whopping 1% back in something called Duetto Dollars (Starbucks account) for every purchase that I make with the card.

I'm sure that would be all well and good if I even visited Upchucks, I mean Starbucks.

Plus, you get another 3% back every time you reload your Duetto account.

Wow, so does that mean that by the time I'm 50, I will actually get a FREE cup a'joe?

Lucky, lucky me.

That's right, I can't stand that rip off, jip joint called Starbucks.

Frickin' $100 for a small-arse cup of coffee. Or, does Upchucks call their small a minutto or teenicafe, or some cr*p?

What malarky.

I'm off to Timmay's (Tim Hortons).


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Bring Me The Head of Juan Valdez [by Diane's Stuff]

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February 17, 2006

5 Star Cars

Why do they have 5 star crash test ratings for vehicles?

I see these car commercials for vehicles and they always boast that their vehicle has received a 5 star crash test rating.

If that's a selling point, then I fear for all those who settle for 4 stars or less. What kind of cr*p car are they getting...

the 2006 Pinto?

And, are they even allowed to sell anything less than a 5 star safety tested vehicle?

I mean, why would they even let something less than "perfect" out on the road?

And, who in their right mind would choose to buy one of those in the first place?

Hmmm... I can get either a car with an airbag or a car with a pillow acting as an airbag. Well, I'm strapped for cash right now, so I'll save that 500 bucks and go for the 4 star, at least it has a pillow, which I can also use for sleeping on.

Seriously, in this day and age, and with this many vehicles out on the road, I'm sure they could guarantee that EVERY vehicle from here on out be a 5 star safety tested vehicle.

Is that so difficult?

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February 15, 2006

Pee: The Cure All

I recently got this email from Lostinlimaohio after telling her about my ear infection problem. She seems to want to distance herself from this commentary seeing that she talks to strange seniors who want people to participate in this particular activity, but being the cold, factual journalist that I am, I MUST credit my sources (heh heh).

I know this is going to sound yucky and strange, and I have to admit- I'VE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING IT- but if you tell really really old people around here (my part of Ohio) that you have an ear infection- almost all of them suggest putting warm pee in your ear.

Now, they say it works to make the infection go away... but I've never found anyone who will try it.

The old people say they used to do it, but with them being old I sort of think they are lying 'cause they are jealous of our wrinkleless skin and ability to walk around naked with out scaring small animals. Anyway, I thought I'm mention it. 'Cause it's gross. And, well pretty much because it's gross.

I don't know about you, but I think I'll stick to my drugstore antibiotics.

I wonder if this is how the golden showers fetish got started.

UPDATE: I received another email from Lostinlimaohio that is most important for you to read before you attempt this pee cure.

I thought you might want to know, I talked to my mother in law last night. She informed me that SHE had pee in her ear. And insisted that I tell you : THE PEE HAS TO BE WARM. Evidently it doesn't work if it is cold. Then she said something about pee being purified like one of those water jugs with a filter on it. Even better, she claims to have convinced another woman in North Caralina to put pee in her ear. So it's not just old Ohio people, there are crazy ones in NC too.

Also, in case you do share it- people should not have someone directly pee in their ear, rather the person with the infection should pee in a cup, and then pour it into their ear. I guess that is easier than having to ask someone "will you pee in my ear?"
Phew, what a relief. I'm glad I got this information before it was too late and had my friends pee in my ear for me.

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February 07, 2006

Weird Realtor Names

Now there's a realtor's name you could believe in... Gay Horney may just give you what you want.

I've wondered this for some time now - why don't realtors create names for themselves much like Hollywood celebrities do?

I mean, wouldn't you more likely go visit a realtor named Bea Bigseller, Seymour Cash, or Mike Ondoseller.

Or, perhaps they can have cool nicknames to promote themselves with, such as John "The Closer" Smith or Jane "Seal The Deal" Smith.

Mine are alright, you got any better ideas?


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Plantation [by Where are my socks?]

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January 27, 2006

Faking It?

I think I can consider myself an Internet journalist.

I mean, for all intents and purposes, anyhow.

Reason being is that I report the news, primarily odd and unusual, but news nonetheless. And, I'm usually not the first to report the stuff, but sometimes I am first "on the scene".

Plus, my articles are opinionated and that's what you need to be a good reporter, right?

The MSM can deny it all they want, but their reporters are biased.

I don't know why they don't just give up that facade already.

Yup, I'm an Internet journalist.

I'm just not faking it like they are.

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January 19, 2006

The Tag Of All Tags

This may just be my last tag for a long time, but I'm sure you'll get quite a bit of knowledge of my personal life from this one to last you a while. I'm Just A Girl had me do this one, 5 Random Facts About Me, but then I got into it and finished all the ones she had on her site. So, here we go...

5 Random Facts

1. I like to keep the tv on all day even though I don't watch it more than 1/2 the time - I just need the sound of it. But, I need absolute silence when I'm studying.

2. I can't stand wearing jeans. I've had no more than 5 or 6 pairs in my lifetime, and most of the time they were just sitting in the closet. I mainly wear skirts and dress pants.

3. My "thing" in high school was wearing a black leather tassle jacket (which I still have). One girl admitted she was afraid to approach me because she thought I was a "butch" and wouldn't give her the time of day. We ended up becoming really good friends and I dated her brother for about a week (my standard dating time limit back then).

4. I love to paint. I just can't find the time right now or the right place in this house to do it.

5. Unlike I'm Just A Girl, I have a family with almost no musical talent (other than my grandpa and dad), and yet it is strong in me. My piano teacher, drum instructor, and trumpet instructor all saw some major potential in me that I never followed through with, but only because I moved on to other avenues in life.

Continue reading "The Tag Of All Tags" »

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January 16, 2006

Sam's Search Hits

Here are some more of my weird search engine hits. I don't know how many of them are real, or if people might be playing around, but here they are...

darkstar spanking
toronto escorts
glamor models gone bad
mean celebrities
canada animal rights blogs
butt cracks
player lover
scalp bleach burns
father was the killer
kinkybits,com
pictures of Polyphemus getting stabbed in the eye
colin farrell sex tape clip blog
best commercial joke
photocopied arse
crazy canadian facts
crazy random questions
oprah duped
female public butt cracks
duck fart.com
TREMENDOUS CAMEL TOE
crazy big butts
pee in the pool commercial
HOT MUFF BLOG
squishee seller on "the simpsons"
World Cheer
angry cashiers

My favourites:

HOT MUFF BLOG - because I showed up second to a home and garden blog, lol, I didn't know those were the topics that domestic blogs discuss.

pee in the pool commercial - ew, there is one?

mean celebrities - there's gotta be a ton of those.

Gasp - and for shame not knowing who is the squishee seller on "the simpsons", Apu Nahasapeemapetilon from the Kwik-E-Mart of course.

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January 12, 2006

2006 Predictions

Fitch Is Always Right unofficially asked me to list my predictions for the year 2006. So, after some long, heartfelt contemplation, I have come up with a list for you all.

Here goes:

A North American Patriot will finally win a weblog award when pitted against those annoying beavers.

Diane's Stuff and I'm just a girl will remain successful in their non-smoking endeavor.

Selfishly Asleep will make her break in the acting business and will star as Sam, in the new tv show about a nannying blogger called simply, Samantha.

Similar to Fitch's prediction that the Daily Kos will be booted from ttlb as a non-blog, I predict that ALL non-blogs will be booted out of the ttlb blog ranking system. (if the prediction doesn't come through, it will remain on my wish list nonetheless).

Unfortunately, Canada will continue to have a pussy of a government.

Slowly and unknowingly, Sam's site will become a pornography site.

I predict this will be yet another year of cheesy sequels to movies (hey, what can I say, it's a safe bet). Bring on The Dukes of Hazzard 2, Supercross 2, Monster-in-law 2, Bewitched 2, Son of the Mask 2, and Alone in the Dark 2.

I predict reality tv will die a horrible, but desired by many, death (perhaps that's just a dream of mine, though).

Velvet Revolver will come out with a new record (and by record, I mean cd to all you punk kids out there, lol).

The Conservative Cat will be recognised worldwide as the most amazing blogger of all time. I mean, he is a cat afterall.

And, linking to the one who started the predictions for 2006, The Deep Frozen, I don't know much about baseball and the Mets, but I predict that the Springfield Isotopes will finally win one.

Plus, I couldn't agree more that another huge natural distaster will happen in 2006, rivaling the tsunami and Katrina. And, stupid me for living near ocean level near the pacific, can only hope it won't be occurring here, but you can guarantee I won't be the one crying and whining that it was the PM's fault since I chose to live here.

And, finally, I will somehow figure out a way of proving that Fitch is NOT, in fact, always right, even if he was right about this being a fun article to write.

UPDATE: shoot, I forgot to add that this is like a tag thingy where you can write your own 2006 predictions and leave me a comment so that I can go check it out. I would be interested to hear what many of you have to say about this year and what's in store.

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January 10, 2006

5 Weird Things About Me

I haven't done a tagged thingy in a while, mainly because I'm not a fan of them, but I've got some time to kill. And, although I think I've done this one before, I can relate to at least one of Shamrocks! (the one who tagged me) 5 things, so I'll do this tag again.

Here goes, 5 Weird Things About Me:

1. I'm not weird, you are! I have the are too/are not attitude of a child. I am so childish sometimes, it's not even funny. I don't see any reason to take life too darn seriously, and although I have a strong head on my shoulders, I can't help, but let the kid in me take over from time to time. Okay, perhaps that's not too weird, but there's more....

2. Similar to Shamrocks! and his Superman costume, I loved my Wonder Woman outfit. I used to wear it a lot when I was 5. I wore it to school once, too, I was that obsessed with the thing. The kids didn't really make that much fun of me, but I felt a little uncomfortable and out of place walking to school in it, so I never did it again. Now, if only I could get my hands on a Bart Simpson outfit....

3. I have another similarity to Shamrocks! in that I missed out when I was on a vacation. I was in Las Vegas with my mom just after turning 19, and I got this wicked arse flu/sun stroke thing. I've never seen so much green coming out of two places at once (sorry for the graphic). I ended up missing out on seeing an awesome show called EFX at the MGM Grand - $72 US down the drain for me on the price of my ticket. To boot, my mom turned into a criminal that day as she tried to scalp my ticket for me. There were no buyers. I also missed out on seeing Penn & Teller, but fortunately I hadn't bought the ticket for that one yet.

4. People who learn this about me tend to p*ss me off by using it against me, but seeing as you aren't likely to meet up with me any day soon, I'll let you in on it. I CANNOT be rubbed the wrong way. And, by that, I mean literally. It irritates me to no end when people rub my skin or arm/leg hairs upwards instead of downwards. Please tell me I'm not the only one out there like this. My mom likens me to a cat in that sense, and what's worse, she's tells any new friends of mine about it when she meets them. ARG!!! I hate that feeling.

5. I still read Archie comic books. Going on 31 in a few months, but read Archie comics almost nightly. Double Digest are the sh*t!

As always, I will not tag anyone, but if you choose to do this on your own, leave me a comment, and I'll go check it out.

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December 27, 2005

Holiday Yak

Seeing it is the holiday season and many people will be away from the computer while others will be escaping to the computer and away from the in-laws, lol, I thought I'd refresh some of my timeless pieces.

So, over this week, I will be bringing you some of the same, up-to-date stuff while reviving some of my classics. Here's one now:

Parenting Amidst The Muck

More and more parents have to protect their children from the mainstream culture; be it violence, substance abuse, the typical objectification of women in the music scene, and the list goes on.

Is this because society is becoming less focused on the family and more on working and general monetary greed that we tend to ignore the affect all of it is having on future generations?

Perhaps we are becoming more egocentric than ever and we say f**k it to everyone and everything else.

On the other hand, it could be the reducing roll of church and Christianity's rein on our culture. Who knows for sure and who really knows what's best for us all. All I know is that it can be pretty tough at times deciding what children can and can't do, see, or hear these days.

As a nanny, it can be particularly difficult because they are not your children to determine those things with. Always erring on the side of caution is a must for us. But, for those parents out there, how do you feel about these changing times and what are some of your strategies?

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December 26, 2005

The Thank Yous

Well, if you're anything like me, you've opened your gifts and have them in a pile unlabelled to whom it's from at the moment laying around somewhere in your home.

So, what do you do now?

You have to phone and thank everyone for the wonderful gifts you received (if you haven't already called them), but who gave you what?

I am always struggling this time of year to figure what was most likely given by whom and what I should say to thank them for the gift. If you are like me, the following may help you decide how to approach this situation.

Please select from:

a) Thank you. It was really nice.
b) Thank you. It fits nice.
c) Thank you. It smells nice.
d) Thank you. It'll go nicely with my things.

And, if any of those don't work, perhaps you have a better idea because I certainly never know what to say.

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December 20, 2005

Animal Rights Groups At It Again

I have word from an unidentified source that an animal right's group is protesting a company in a well-known northly region.

The group is claiming that there are animals to the north being mistreated by the company and that they will send a letter to the man responsible threatening him to stop action or they will pursue the case further.

The animal right's group had made it publicly known that they will use extreme measures to free the 8 reindeer in question by any means necessary.

The man accused of the attacks is said to be a Mr. Saint Nicolas; however, one of his most known aliases is Santa.

The animal right's group (ARG!) is saying that Mr. Nicolas resorts to such extremes as tying up the poor, defenseless reindeer and beating them into submission with a whip. They are at the height of their stress level, especially on one particular night of the year, midnight of December 25th, when the man labours the ill-fated creatures to their maximum.

The ARG! states that the abuse is so intense that it has caused the reindeer to turn around and attack one of its own.

It is said that the reindeer psychologically mistreat the particular reindeer as a result of its deformity. Apparently, the physically challenged reindeer has a red nose that they laugh at and the others also call him names.

The ARG! is asking for your help to protest against this atrocity for the safety of the poor, innocent red nosed reindeer and his peers.

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December 09, 2005

Cheesy College Course

Be A Better Male 101

Day 1: The 3 T's
Toilet Paper
It may grow on trees, but only you can replace the roll in the bathroom.
Group discussion and role play
Toothpaste
Tonight you will learn the crusty truth of why the cap must be put on the tube after use.
Practising with the tube
Trimming The Lawn
Will the grass disintegrate on its own?
Lawn Mowing Simulation Demonstration

DAY 2: Laundry
Underwear
Learn that it's more hygienic to buy more than 1 pair of underwear and to wear a new pair daily.
Class field trip to the mall
Washer
If it sits in the washer long enough will it magically transfer itself to the dryer?
Panel debate
Folding
Learn to fold in 3 easy steps
Hands-on experience
Bonus lesson:
Real Men Bring Them Flowers
Real life testimonials of men who didn't die as a result.

PS - Got this idea from Holly's Fight For Justice, thanks Holly.

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November 29, 2005

My Canadian-ness Article For Today: Tuesday Edition

Found this and thought it was too good to ignore: Only in Canada

Only in Canada......Is the Senate of Canada sustained by protocol, alcohol and Geritol

Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.

Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Only in Canada......can you buy Tylenol containing codine without a prescription. In fact, Jane Fonda was once stopped at the U.S. border for trying to take it home.

And, perhaps the saddest part is that all of these are truths.

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November 28, 2005

My Canadian-ness Article For Today: Monday Edition

Here's a list of 135 great Canadians: 135 reasons why it's great to be Canadian.

Some of my favourites on the list include...

PAMELA ANDERSON - 'cause Canada's sexy, too

DAN AYKROYD - US and Canada come together with the awesome twosome: The Blues Brothers

JOHN CANDY - 'cause everyone loves candy

JIM CARREY - representing the funny bone in Canada

CHIEF DAN GEORGE - made some awesome "Indian" movies and some commendable political moves as a First Nations chief.

ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL - *Bring* *bring* get the phone will ya?

GENERAL ROMEO DALLAIRE: The commander of the United Nations' peacekeeping force in Rwanda, Dallaire tried to prevent the massacre of as many as 800,000 people, but his warnings were ignored.

NELLIE McCLUNG: Suffragist, helped women get the vote.

There's just too many to list here, so go there if you'd like to read more of my favourites. There are many, many others not on that list, but I think should be on it. Again, too many to name here.


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November 25, 2005

My Canadian-ness Article For Today: Friday Edition

Johnson
This is a little information and history on a location nearby to where I live:

Stanley Park is a fun area of Vancouver, BC to rollerblade, bike, sunbathe, picnic, you name it.

I'll just ignore telling you about the few night crimes that take place there once in a while, and I'll focus on my favourite moments there.

When my parents took me to Stanley Park when I was a child, we'd go down to the water and I'd pick up some seashells. I also saw some starfish stuck on rocks, which was pretty cool at my age of around 6 to 10. I still have the seashells I've collected from the park.

Another favourite memory is going to Stanley Park with my grandma and visiting the E. Pauline Johnson memorial. It was significant to me because I had done a large amount of studying on Johnson in my English classes as she was a native/First Nations/Indian poet.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
My Canadian-ness Article for Today [by Sakrata.com]

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November 24, 2005

American Thanksgiving

Got this one from a non-blogging friend of mine.

'Twas the Night of Thanksgiving'

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned - The dark meat and white
But I fought the temptation With all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees....
Happy eating to all - Pass the cranberries, please.

May your stuffing be tasty, May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy Have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious May your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off of your thighs.

Here's a Thanksgiving cartoon care of Stop The ACLU


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Pajamas Media Trackback Party [by Pajamas Media / Stuck On Stupid Blog]
Thanksgiving Weekend Blogfest Weds. thru Sunday [by Pajamas Media / Stuck On Stupid Blog]

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November 16, 2005

What?

You know, I've just come to realise that singers are like Doctors.

I believe it's common knowledge by now that doctors have sloppy handwriting. Intentional or not, it is a fact. You can never read the perscription information that your doctor hands you.

I would have to say that the same is true with singers and their songs. How many of you know someone who can't sing the lyrics properly to a song they're listening to (and if you don't know someone like that, then guess who you are)?

The two of you are sitting in a car, or somewhere, listening to a favourite song when you both begin singing the lyrics. At a crucial point in the song (usually not in the refrain, but in the meat of the song), you both start to sing different lyrics. And then, you begin wondering, "am I singing it wrong or are they singing it wrong?"

I had a friend like that. She sucked with lyrics to popular songs. It was so embarrassing when we were with a group of people, and she'd sing out loud.

Seriously, I DON'T KNOW HER.

For instance, to the song Cotton Eyed Joe she'd say something like,

"Oboe fiddle and a shoe-string o"

rather than the true lyrics,

"Old bull fiddle and a shoe-string bow".

Some of her doosies, I wish I wrote down because there are many hilarious ones.

Or how about the people who still do what five year olds do (it's you who does this, isn't it). They ramble the lyrics until they get to the last word of the line because they know what that one word is, but they don't know any other part of the song. And, to that person, it makes it all the more thrilling that they know that one word at the end of the line because it happens to rhyme. Yes, good boy/girl, "free" does rhyme with "me".

And, I think we're all guilty of being able to only sing the refrain to some songs.

Forget the rest of that 2 Unlimited song of the early 90s, I know the refrain of No Limits...

No, no limits, we'll reach for the sky! No valley to deep, no maintain to high, No, no limits, won't give up the fight, We do what we want and we do it with pride.

We all should be proud.

So, as I was saying, singers are like Doctors. Doctors mess with our heads by creating perscriptions that we couldn't read if our lives depended on it; singers screw with our minds by composing lyrics that we just couldn't sing proper if it was a matter of life and death.

Now I'm going to go put on some AC/DC, and I'm NOT going to sing.

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November 14, 2005

The Simpsons Slanguage

Wikipedia has a list of neologisms that came directly from The Simpsons.

Some words that many of us have taken on in our own daily lives include "D'oh!", "Yoink!", "Squishee" (instead of slurpee), "Jeebus", "Jerkass", "Knowitallism", "Learnding", "Lupper" ("it's not quite breakfast and it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a cantaloupe at the end"), Meh (expression of disinterest) and "Sophistimacated Dowhackey" are a few among others.

At some points in my life, I know I've used each and every one of these, plus a few more from the list they made. And, I'm darn proud of it.

As I've said before language is not stagnant, it grows and changes with society, and with The Simpsons being so much a part of our society, it makes perfect sense that it's terminology has become engrained within our society.

Hat Tip: A Chick Named Marzi

UPDATE: Although groundskeeper Willie wasn't the original speaker of this term, he did popularise a commonly used term for the French, "Cheese-eating Surrender Monkeys".

Thanks be to The Simpsons for creating terms that have a timeless quality.

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October 26, 2005

*Sniffle* I Love You Man.

I get a lot of love from my readers, and I just have to say right now that I appreciate it.

You comment to me from time to time about how something that I wrote was funny, or that you rotflmao. Or, perhaps you add your own two cents, or you make my joke even funnier with your humorous comment.

I think it's great.

This blog would have died long ago if it weren't for this great community of people.

No, I'm not sucking up for anything, no plotting going on, just saying thanks.

Ok, back to talking about sh*t.

By the way, one of my computers that I had storing some blog names to blogroll decided to go down briefly and I lost the list.

If you don't see your name on the blogroll, but want to be on it, let me know.

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October 25, 2005

PC Police Strike Again

Moonbat Monitor shares an article on how lame political correctness has become.

We're told that the term "freshman" is being changed at Amherst Regional High School because, I guess, it discriminates against women. They are now pathetically referred to as "ninth-graders". I think by now, we are all aware that if someone says something like "freshman" it includes the entire student body at that grade level, and not just the boys.

You know what this leads to??? If someone, especially adults in official positions like teachers or the principal, accidentally says the term "freshman", some student is going home to tell mommy and daddy so that they can sue the pants off the school, the "offender", and the school district.

It's so pathetic.

Talk about reinforcing the negative image of a "sue crazy" country just because they're trying to maintain political correctness. It's not like extreme political correctness is aiding us, anyhow.

But, I think Moonbat Monitor's on to something. Perhaps we should just cancel those Math and history classes, and start a course called PC Terminology and How To Raise Whimpy Kids.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Harry Potter Vs. Wyrd Sisters [by MacBros' Boring Life]

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October 18, 2005

He Hates Cat... And Censorship

I can't ignore this; it's too good. Barnze's Muses discusses something we all despise: cats.

Lol, no, I'm kidding, it's censorship. It seems he was in a forum where he was booted out for showing a picture of a cat in a bowl. Ya, that's right, a cat in a bowl.

Ok, the picture made it kind of look like the cat was going to be blended into some sort of tasty dish; but still, what's wrong with this cyber world when we can't even express ourselves freely about a dislike of something? It's simply a personal aversion towards something that the man felt the need to share.

This is very much a concern in the Internet community...

freedom

Barnze also asks what is wrong with forum pc freaks: "How are you today" "I'm fine & you" "hows the baby?" are the types of conversations they'd like to have maintained. What sort of pleasure does one get out of that boring nonsense, anyhow?

I want to know what are forums for if you can't express yourself on them?

I'm not a hater of cats, but his pictures are flippin' funny. The moderator, or pc forum "police", was way off in thinking it was offensive.

It's funny.

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October 12, 2005

Thanksgiving Day's For The Birds

Well, October 10th marked another Canadian Thanksgiving Day, or as the US called it, Monday.

MR.BIG was kind enough to allow some of my family members to visit for the holiday since home for me is a bit of a drive and I still had my job to do here. Ya, that's right, the b*st*rd wouldn't give me the day off because he had to work and there was no one else around to look after the kids.

Actually, I'm very grateful that my family could at least visit and have supper here. And, of course, I couldn't miss the opportunity to gather some comedic events that occurred that day.

It all started with a bang, really. Well, it was more of a shout, as MR.BIG was taking some junk out to the garage so that his place didn't look too much like a mess for my family. I was in my suite when I heard a holler, "Sam! Sam!" I opened my door to see MR.BIG lying on the ground, writhing in agony.

No, he didn't just get a glimps of Michael Moore naked.

He had fallen down two stairs of the staircase and wasn't sure if he'd broken an ankle or sprained it. Being the friend I am, I helped him (with interspersed bouts of laughter, knowing he had freaked out about nothing) get his shoe off and checked over the ankle to show him that he'd just twisted it a little.

So, can anyone explain to me the male need to be mommied by any available female?

Anyhow, after dealing with that hilarious-to-me moment, I fervently began cleaning his house, knowing that my family would inspect and expect to see a spotless home. They need to know their "little girl" is in a healthy, safe, and super-polished home. This is also a great example of my family's perfectionistic tendancies when it comes to keeping a home clean.

Just a little insane.

My mom suggested cleaning the banisters before my grandma arrived, but I didn't feel like doing them, so I told her that I used this new product on the market called the neutral air polish.

Febreeze my a$$; "neutral air" is the way to go. It's less work and a h*ll of a lot cheaper.

So, with the house all clean, we took to cooking the turkey. But, before we could get it in the oven, MR.BIG tells us of this great new concept. He said that the turkey he bought is a pre-stuffed turkey and that we don't have to worry about the stuffing. My mom, not quite getting the extent of his geekiness, said, "oh, but I like my stuffing". That's about when MR.BIG gave in, cracked up laughing at his moronic joke, and fessed up.

My mom swatted him with a tea towel for that one.

All in all, it was a rather good Thanksgiving. However, I ended up with the Thanksgiving gift.

Ya, I bet you didn't know we did that up here in Canada. Someone always goes home with a Thanksgiving gift every year, and this year it happened to me. Most years, it's usually the leftover turkey so that we can make a turkey sandwich the next day, or perhaps some pumpkin pie. This year it was a special gift, and it was all for me.

Oh lucky me!

In case you didn't notice, yesterday I posted a little wonky. I only put one guest post up and none of my own until about 2 pm PST. I dropped the ball yesterday, but it was because I had the gift to attend to.

That's right, I got the flu for Thanksgiving.

I'm still a bit frazzled, pooped, and raw at the back of my throat, but I'll manage. Perhaps it shows in my writing that I'm not all with it right now, but rest assured, I am gaining strength and feel the dementia restoring within me to bring you the best of the worst in me again.

So that, my friends, was Canadian Thanksgiving Day for me. I feel like I deserve a do-over. Maybe I'll celebrate US Thanksgiving, too, when it rolls around in November. Lol, any excuse for more turkey, eh.

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Five Things Meme

One of the very few people out there that I'd do this for; Dianes Stuff didn't even tag me on it because she knows I hate them, so I'll gladly do it.

Five things I plan to do before I die:

1. Freefall sky dive. Not that p*ssy parachuting, but actual freefalling.
2. Spend a million dollars on shoes, build the appropriate sized house to store them in, and of course I need the perfect accessories to match.
3. Buy a JAGUAR XJSC V12 in RED
4. Vanquish PETA (but then I'd have nothing to write about and my site would fall into oblivion, so I'm not sure if I want to do that. Although... it would be one of the greatest human feats ever accomplished)
5. Own a purple monkey dishwasher (scroll down when in purple monkey dishwasher for more info).

Five things I can do:

1. The Simpsons trivia - give it to me! "I am the lizard queen."
2. Does nothing count for something?
3. P*ss off moonbats
4. Tempt fate in a near miss with a telephone pole, a fence, and a few cows as I plow through a cow pasture and do several 360 degree turns in my kick a$$ carburator-running, jacked up '77 skylark. And, to top it all off, walk out of the vehicle without a scratch on it or on me.
5. A burping performance of Schubert's "Unfinished" Symphony

Five Things I can’t do:

1. Bring myself to listen to country, Celine Dion, or any other craptacular "music".
2. Buy my JAGUAR XJSC V12 in RED from my blogging funds.
3. Date a moonbat no matter how cute he is or how much money he has, even if he could afford to buy me a JAGUAR XJSC V12 in RED.
4. Say Henry Winkler 10 times fast.
5. Figure out what the f*ck IMAO literally stands for

Five Things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. They are more lazy than nag. Yes, I'd rather put up with lazy.
2. Forearms and thighs. I don't know, must have something to do with Santa lifting me onto his lap for all those years.
3. Their ability to take out the garbage - yech!
4. Their lack of a vagina and set of DD boobs (well, that goes for most men, anyhow).
5. A man who's good with tools, and his ability to screw things - preferably me.

Five Things that I say a lot:

1. That's craptacular
2. Bite me. or, better yet, bite me hard
3. I don't give a rat's a$$
4. Yaaaaa... that's it. Sure I did. (with a little mischief in my voice)
5. Bloody h*ll.

And, to end this, I am opening it to anyone who would like to be tagged. Just leave me a comment that you did the meme, and I'll go to your site and read it.

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October 04, 2005

Not Yet Doomed To The Wasteland

This is just a little shout out to Drogidy Blogidy who has been on my blogroll for a long time now, but who recently decided to click through, read, and comment on many of my archived articles.

It's refreshing to know that my previous writing hasn't gone to utter and complete waste because a lot of those pieces are timeless (that is, not all are related to events of the time). Drogidy even went so far as to post links to some of my older stuff that I guess was considered worthy enough of linking to.

I admit, I haven't been the best of bloggers to do such a thing. I'm like many who just read the main page stuff, then carry on about my day; but, people like Drogidy encourage me to go into the archives of fellow bloggers because they likely have creative and interesting pieces for us to read.

Thanks for making my day a little brighter and for making me realise that my babbling doesn't go to waste after it leaves the main page.

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September 28, 2005

Reunions Should Be Elementary, My Dear Watson

It may sound odd or be odd, but I think it would be so much better to have 20 year reunions for elementary school grades then for high school.

I guess a lot of people want high school reunions so that they can check in on how others are doing, and hopefully take a stab or two at the preppies who are now busboys and housewives with 6 kids or something. They may also want high school reunions to see if they're better than anyone, or to have some sort of ego boost. Don't get me wrong, I'll be at my 20th reunion with my best dress on too, but I think it would much greater to have an elementary school reunion 20 years later.

I have such fond memories of elementary school compared to high school. Sure both could be great, but I wonder more about what my friends from elementary school are up to now. People went their separate ways in high school, so I don't know where any of them are, except for one who's still my best friend.

Maybe some schools out there do that, but they didn't think to do that in my day. I know I don't have the time or will to track these friends down myself, and most people don't, so that is why I think an elementary reunion would be great.

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September 23, 2005

Perfect

The Perfect Woman:

- no no, you get sleep, I'll take care of the baby
- you work so hard, I'll do everything around the house including take out the garbage and mow the lawn
- yes, get out with the boys, maybe hit a strip joint while you're out. It'll be relaxing, and don't let me know what happened afterwards; keep it as your little secret
- no, let's spend the money on a big screen hdtv rather than me going shoe shopping. In fact, I hate shoe shopping
- I have this disorder that stops me from getting angry or PMSing

The Perfect Man

- here's your $1000 monthly payment to get shoes, clothes, and other goodies that you like, and go ahead, use the credit card on whatever, too
- no, I hate going out with the guys and getting plowed. I'd rather stay home with you, have a good in depth talk, and cuddle
- you relax, I'll cook, clean, and take care of the kids everyday after work - you're so wonderful and beautiful you shouldn't be lifting a single one of those delicate fingers
- really, wow, and then what did Mabel say?
- you can drive

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September 19, 2005

Canadian Smarty

smarties

Are you jealous, my American friends? We have our own Canadian Smarties, eh. They come in colour choices of red or white, so they still get to ask the same question, "do you eat the red ones last, eh?" And, the white ones are actually like the picture on the box (which by the way is sparkly): they have a maple leaf.

Guess others around the world are S.O.L. Ya, I'm a shit disturbing hosehead. Maybe you should all grab your toques, your pogey, and head on up to Canada in your skidoo, eh, and get yourselves a cool red and white box of Smarties.

And if none of those Canadianisms made sense, check out Canadian Expatriates article, which should explain everything.

Continue reading "Canadian Smarty" »

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September 12, 2005

Why this Canadian supports US efforts in Iraq

I was asked why as a Canadian, whose country isn’t really involved in Iraq, would care one bit about the US war.

True, Canada is not directly involved. Canada tends to be a neutral country and often sends its troops in only as peace keepers. This fact probably has more to do with the complete disgrace the Canadian government has in funding the Canadian military than in any other reason. Canada is not involved in a major way simply because it is incapable of being involved in a major way. Sending troops into a war zone without the best equipment available is irresponsible at best.

Make no mistake though, Canadians in the past have bravely fought and died for their country and the protection of allies. 600,000 Canadians were sent overseas in WWII and many did not come home. While I can’t say many Canadians wanted to go to war, they knew it was the right thing to do. Canadians at the time knew that the German army needed to be stopped at all costs, and many young men died to stop that maniac, Hitler, from taking over the world.

The true extent of the horror and genocide in Europe was not fully known until after the war was stopped. There were mass graves and unbelievable horror of approximately six million Jewish people murdered by an enemy of mankind.

Continue reading "Why this Canadian supports US efforts in Iraq" »


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
A Canadian Supporter [by The Daily Brief: A Military Blog Written With Intelligence And Purpose]
Canadians and war. [by Antisemantics]

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September 10, 2005

Doi

I don't get why main street here has had Christmas lights up for a couple weeks now.

IT. IS. ONLY. SEPTEMBER.

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September 09, 2005

It's All About Location, Location, Location

Where Are My Socks shows us some pics that seem to have come from the Twilight Zone as they show an entire district of mobile phone shops on a single street. Who in their right mind would open up one phone shop next to another, let alone, SEVERAL by the same company?

This very much reminds me of the hammock district in The Simpsons - "Put-Your-Butt-There. That's on third". They also had many other hammock companies like the "Hammock Hut", "Hammocks R' Us", and "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"; they are all in the same hammock complex on third.

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September 04, 2005

SHUT. YOUR. PIE. HOLE. A. BIT. MOORE, MICHAEL.

Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush

I’m tired of this nonsense. Category 5 hurricanes have been happening for eons. As everyone has heard up to this point, the dikes can only withstand a category 3. The city has been rolling the dice for years hoping that nothing like this would happen and this time the bet was lost. It’s easy to sit back after the fact and assign blame to everyone who did not respond the way you thought they should.

Continue reading "SHUT. YOUR. PIE. HOLE. A. BIT. MOORE, MICHAEL." »


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
A Big Hole to Shut [by The Waterglass]
Slow-poke Bush strikes again. [by Splinter's Views on the News]
Thoughts on Katrina, a beginning. . . . [by JasonColeman.com]

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September 02, 2005

Cashiers

Happenstance & Geography has a great observation of math and the truth behind our lack of knowledge for it, but I'll let you go to her site to read it if you wish. Kat from H&G also states that a counter girl at a fast food restaurant was unable to make change from $2.08 on a $1.58 order. Kat said that the girl stood there not knowing what to do, so she called the manager for help, then started crying.

Having been behind the counter in my day, I know that it can be frustrating when you are exhausted from being overworked and underpaid. I'm sure this wasn't the case in Kat's situation, but I have had days where I blankly stared off because I was too tired to use my brain in any way.

Also, the reliance of registers to do the thinking for cashiers is unbelievable. They don't have to do much in terms of producing exact change other than punch in the amount given.

A grocery store in Canada, for example, has a change machine that dishes out the change to be given. The cashier doesn't even have to open the till and count the money; the machine does it for them. It's pretty ridiculous, especially when those unionised grocery store clerks are paid fairly big bucks, between $10-$20 an hour and perhaps more with seniority, just to ring up items. They're getting paid a lot to do practically nothing.

Hmmm... now that I think about it. Why don't I let my mind go to waste and make some decent money pushing buttons on a till?

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September 01, 2005

Don't Ask 'Cause I Don't Know Either

We have something here and in central British Columbia where fishermen sell their seafood off the back of their trucks.

Some people obviously take a chance and buy the stuff, I'm sure a lot of it is from legitimate fishers who have a license to do so, but there's something about buying seafood from the back of a truck that worries me.

Where did the seafood come from? How long ago did they catch it? How has it been stored: frozen, fresh, or just sitting out in the sun?

I'm afraid that if it's the latter, I am not fond of sunbathed shrimp. Seems a little foul to me. I'm talking about funky fish, and I don't mean they're good dancers.

I can just imagine where they may have come from... the sewer? Mmmmm, sewer lobsters. Originally brown in colour, but were painted red in acrylic for salability. Hey, I'm a painter, maybe I could get a job painting the lobster, but would I really want to be painting feculent lobster. Ew!

And to make this article cornier, the Atlantic lobster are the good ones, tasty, but when they're sold off the back of a truck, this elite lobster actually came from the sewers of the wealthy folks up on snob-hill.

This, people, is the sanity level that MR.BIG and I succumb to when we get together to talk about nothing.

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August 31, 2005

Naughty Nurses

naked butt in air

(click on image)

Not quite a naughty nurse but she is naughty! I've decided to be nice to my readers and I've found a non-scam site where you can view your "needs". Just follow the link link here. Now back to the article...


Has anyone seen this Mott's Clamato nurse ad; this may only apply to Canada as it seems Canada and the US sometimes get different Motts ads, but maybe it pertains to both.

To give you a summary of the ad, you first see a pvc clad woman in a nurse's uniform walk up to an apartment door, a man opens the door, the woman holding a Mott's Clamato bottle enters, they claim to have part of the ad banned due to it being too spicy for tv, and then she soon after leaves. That is all; the rest is left up to the imagination.

I was going to write this article about the oddness of the commercial. I mean, if you've seen it, you might realise that the man who opens the door to the woman wearing a PVC mini-nurses uniform, looks extremely homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that... please refer to Not That There's Anything Wrong With That. But really, what does "looks homosexual" mean? But, I digress...

I was going to write that not even a bombshell like that could sway a man such as him to turn straight.

Continue reading "Naughty Nurses" »

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August 30, 2005

Poverty

Article in response to Nashvillefiles.com

Blake, at Nashvillefiles, recently asked if North Americans know what being poor is. He questions if we really know the same kind of poverty that exists in Africa: the famine-type poverty. He states that "the very fact that our nation's poorest people are able to stay fattened is a testament to this".

I pondered these questions for a while and the following is my reponse...

Continue reading "Poverty" »

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August 28, 2005

Neo-Hippy Defined

I was asked recently by Diane's Stuff and MR.BIG what a neo-hippy is in comparison to the late 60's - 70's hippy. Yes, other's have coined terms for these modern hippies such as web-hippies, cyber-hippies, and zippies, but I find that neo-hippy is more appropriate because they are a new-age type of hippy - not all are into the Internet - but they are different from the flower child of the 70's.

The way I figure it, the folks out there protesting in today's day and age are different from the hippies of the 70's. There was a certain innocence in the flower child that does not and cannot exist with the neo-hippy. They aren't exactly about peace and love, and some good tune-age, they seem to be more about violence for the sake of arguing a point and would rather partake of damage and destruction than tolerance and acceptance.

Continue reading "Neo-Hippy Defined" »

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August 22, 2005

Commendable Best Buy Staff

I think they only have this store in Canada and the US, but perhaps people reading this from other parts of the world will have a similar experience at another store.

I was at the local Best Buy store the other day and was shocked... well really, how shocked can one get when they are bombarded by employees in a store?

Nonetheless, I looked around and every which way, there were little blue vests with screaming - "no, this isn't a fashion statement, I work here" - yellow Best Buy titles printed on them.

Continue reading "Commendable Best Buy Staff" »

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August 21, 2005

Dogs

I'm a dog person. I like cats and other animals too, but I really am a dog person. And you know why, it's because they'll go through everything with you.

There is no fantasy person out there like that. No one who'll listen to what you have to say and never take offense to anything. Or argue with you about some of the most mundane things. Or even make you explain yourself for the umpteenth time and no matter how you word it...

They. Just. Don't. Get. It.

Nope, dogs, unlike people, can give you the truest, most humble form of love there is. They don't talk back or make stabbing remarks in your direction. You can hoot and holler and raise a stink all you want, and a dog companion will be right there beside you wagging its tail, just looking at you with a stupid smile on its face, happy to be alive. All they require is some food, a little petting, and a stroll in the park.

I like dogs, but if they can make a human-style robot with those simple dog-qualities, I'll pay whatever it takes to get it.

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August 20, 2005

Scrapping The Junk

I thought of one way to get rid of my junk, by taking it to the Salvation Army - aka Sally Anns, aka Starvation Army (am I going to get some complaints on that one?).

MR.BIG reminded me that they don't take furniture, and they can be picky about what you leave them in terms of clothing and other small goods. So, I've come up with a good excuse for why I have so much to give away:

My 82 year old grandma is a little senile and thinks I'm a little girl still, so she gave me some kids clothing to wear. She's also moving out of her house and into a retirement home, and she has to downsize, so she gave me cups, glasses, and plates for my home, but I already have too many from the last time she downsized. Further, she doesn't know what this microwave is that I gave her last Christmas, and she offered to give it back to me. It's brand new (full of splattered food inside), never been used, so I'm sure some needy person will be happy with it. And, here, this stand would go nicely with the microwave, so maybe you could sell it as some sort of combo deal.

Do you think they'll buy it?

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August 19, 2005

Inflation Cessation

You know what I'm wondering... what's going to happen to the cost of living in the future of North America?

Are we going to end up paying a half a million dollars for a trailer home and 2 million for a two bedroom house? As it is, a majority of three bedroom homes in the Vancouver, BC area cost a half a mil. and gas is over a buck a litre.

How about heading into the grocery store where just about everything's gone up by about $2 per item. Ya, like I have that kind of money to be paying $4 for a jug of milk. My paycheque didn't increase, so what's up with that?

Do we have it so good that they have to jack up the prices to ridiculous amounts to remind me that I am actually in the lower middle class? I feel like I'm bordering the poverty line. If I pay one more red cent for gas, I'll darn-near slip right into poverty, I swear. How dare I even think for a minute that I was somewhere in the mid-section of the middle class. I'm not worthy of that widescreen, high definition, LCD TV I was eyeing the other day at Future Shop. I guess I should just thank my lucky stars that my lowly 27" isn't black and white.

Anyhow, I'd like to know where the economy's heading. How much will I be paying for a loaf of bread in a couple years time... $50... $60?

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August 18, 2005

And The Record For Corniest Rants Goes To...

What intrigues me is why things like the Guiness Book of World Records don't seem to be as popular as they once were.

Somewhere in the late 80's, people used to come from all around to spectate at World Record events and the press would be there in full force. Not to mention it seemed to be the talk of the town where I came from. Have we run out of cockamamie ideas and there's nothing entertaining to do anymore? Or have our lives gotten so busy that we don't have time to care about the odd and unusual?

I don't know, maybe there are just so many bee-beards that we can see before it gets down-right boring.

Have we lost our touch for the totally eccentric? Or maybe the America's Funniest Home Videos show ruined it all with their total absurd, insane, ridiculous, and moronic tricks and exhibitions.

Whatever the reason, it would be nice to hear of some new World Record feats left to be accomplished. Got any ideas?

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You Know You're Getting Old When...

The Churning has a great list of indications that you are aging when it comes to rock concerts. Oh ya, and thanks for making me feel old again even though I'm not that old yet, lol.

I especially like this one, "I get irritated when I can’t carry a conversation with someone during the show". It never was that way for me as a teenie-bopper.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
I Want Dead Pedophiles [by Radioactive Liberty]

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According To Misinformation

Christian Terrorism On The Rise?

A new whistle blower article is available to you from Difster's site on a Christian terrorist group invading and bombing middle east mosques. Apparently, the group states that they are attempting to get word out about their cause and their death toll is up to 54.

I'm sure that there are some nuts out there like this, but what many of us have been taught is it's not the right thing to do.

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August 17, 2005

Please, Rob Me... Save Me A Buck Or Two

Could somebody please explain to me why someone broke into the old place I was living at and stole everything, but the stuff I was trying to get rid of? Geesh!

After moving out of the old place, I left only a worn out junky computer, 2 microwaves, a stand, old clothing, rusted lawnmower, and little scraps of stuff I no longer had use for. The thieves decided to rip off the landlord's fridge, which sucks for me because that may mean I lose my deposit, but we'll see. They also stole the worthless computer and lawnmower, but left the microwaves, clothing, and everything else.

They trashed the place by littering the leftover stuff all over the house. I was glad to see that they didn't spray paint the place or do any physical damage, but why oh why couldn't they take all my junk away.

I'm sure they could have gotten a buck or two for the clothing and the microwaves - now I have to spend a buck or two to get that trash hauled away.

Anyhow, I never thought I'd be begging to get robbed. I guess that's what happens when everything costs money such as either renting a cube van to haul the junk and to pay to get into the dump to throw the junk out or by hiring a company to junk the stuff for me.

Ya, my leftover stuff is worth something alright... to everyone else, but me.

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August 16, 2005

Tired Laughter

I don't know about other places around the world, but in parts of Canada and the US there is a service that picks up your unwanted trash, furniture, etc. called 1-800-GOT-JUNK.

After moving out of the other place, I decided that the best thing to do would be to call that number since my boss, MR.BIG and I were worn out from unpacking the new place and cleaning the old place, plus all the other tidbits of buying a new house.

Well, let me tell you that we were so exhausted that MR.BIG mistakenly said with a slur in his tired voice, "we should call that 1-800-GET-DRUNK place". Man, did we have a good laugh about that one. It seems nerdy, but he really didn't realise that he made the mistake at first. I mean, we were beat from all the work between the two houses - not to mention that we had the added stress of being robbed at the old place, but luckily they didn't get much since all the good stuff was at the new place.

When MR.BIG said that, I just had to retort that that would be the best toll free number ever. Imagine calling a number to have booze delivered to your door after a hard, tiring day like we had.

My boss also dialed the number, but mistakenly dialed 1-800-GET-JUNK, but nobody answered fortunately because we certainly didn't need more junk.

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August 15, 2005

Should Walken Be Runnin'?

Cusack I can't see running for pres.; maybe, perhaps if John and his sister Joan ran as a team, but not just one or the other.

I have to agree with Jason Coleman, though, that Christopher Walken would make for an interesting president.

Not only is he one heck of a scary dude to many, but he's freakin' hilarious. What a personality. If he were president, the whole country, and perhaps world, would be dancing on walls and ceilings to the tune of Fat Boy Slim's Weapon Of Choice.

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This One's Only For The Beautiful

So, has anyone out there heard of this. I saw on some tv show a while back that there is a man in England who started up a website personals for only beautiful people.

Apparently, his personals ad website has a strict entry code: you have to be voted by its members as beautiful enough to be worthy of being in his personals website.

Let me say that again, if you are a beautiful, single person and want to be in that personals website in order to find a romantic match, you have to send a photo to the site and its members (who have also been voted as beautiful) either vote that you may put your personals ad on the site or they vote against you (in other words, you're too bloody ugly, according to them).

If any readers out there know the website I am talking about, could you please send the site address to me. I'm not going to try for it, but I'm curious as to what it looks like.

I don't understand why these so called beautiful people require a personals ad to get a date, or is it just a prestige thing of being accepted into an exclusive club?

Oh, there's a rant I'll likely get into one day. How the heck does a single person meet anyone in this day and age?

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Looks Can Deceive

One thing I'd like to know is why some people deny their own child simply because s/he has a different skin colour or physical feature? I know of many instances where the men have outrightly refused to see or care for his child because the colour of the child's skin was much lighter than his.

You'd think by now that people would know about a little thing called DNA and would recognise that the child's DNA comes from generations of relations on either side. I know that we didn't all get past Grade 10 to have learned this in school, but I thought this should be common knowledge by now.

Those men, by the way, who denied their child, later found out - by way of DNA testing no less - that the children were theirs and they ended up taking responsibility as a parent.

All that time denying it was for nothing and some of them lost some precious years and moments with their little ones.

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August 13, 2005

Aggravated Assistance

One little word of advice for all - NEVER hire a friend.

At least, this is what I've learned after hiring a friend to do a job at my place. I asked this person to help me with some work around the house and they did the poorest job ever. Maybe it's just me not knowing how to deal with the situation. I'm not one of those people who deals with confrontation too well, especially concerning friends and family. I don't like being aggressive if I don't have to be. I know there are people out there who have no problem telling it like it is, and that's fine, but sometimes it does more harm than good.

Depends, I guess, on the issue.

I'm not a pushover, and don't typically put up with most irritations, but this is a bit of an awkward situation. How does one tell their friend that something they may have taken pride in doing, is actually one of the worst things you've ever seen?

Nevertheless, this friend of mine sucked at what they did, and they were getting paid for the job too. Anyhow, I don't know how to confront them on the issue; but will probably think of a way of saying nicely, but to the point, that they sucked. It's really hard to tell a friend to "get your butt over here and fix the job properly", especially when it feels like they took advantage of me by trying to get away with it. It's easier finding someone else to do the job, but that would mean letting my friend get away with doing such a horrible thing.

So, as indecisive as this article sounds, I am contemplating the confrontation to come. Just remember...

NEVER HIRE A FRIEND!

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Air Care In Vain

So, what's the real reason for air care? It is supposed to be a regulatory vehicle inspection in order to reduce emissions. Is it really to reduce smog or pollution, or is it to make sure big cities only have nice new cars on the roads? I was driving along in the big city and noticed that all of the cars were rather new. Most were no more than 10 years old, at least.

Continue reading "Air Care In Vain" »

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August 12, 2005

Ebay Sellers Be Aware

Talk about royal pain in the butt. I know of one ebay member who had over a thousand customers, positive feedback all around, Silver Power Seller status, and purple star and he was suspended for 30 days for trying to sell an Olympic album.

Continue reading "Ebay Sellers Be Aware" »

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Curing Sexual Deviants: Is It Possible?

I did enjoy, and have pondered, questions as Spiderman's Web discusses about whether pedophiles and other sexual deviants are merely victims of their own mental illness. I mean, on the one hand, it is so easy to claim everything as an illness and to make people seek treatment for their "problems", but isn't that just an easy cop-out for dealing with why these things happen?

I know in my short lifetime, I've noticed that an awful lot more things are being treated with drugs that, perhaps, don't really require drugs??? Just thoughts to ponder as I don't have the answers for any of these, either.

Look at how many kids are being improperly labelled as ADD and ADHD, and they're drugged up, become drones, and end up not really having a mental problem. They just are young and have energy, and dang that ticks me off. Let them grow as they should. Besides, I wonder what the long term effects will be for people who have prolonged drug use like this. Further, what did parents do many years ago before these weird drugs came into existence? They treated their kids like normal human beings, that's what they did.

Anyhow, all I'm asking is how can we throw drugs at everyone who is different than the "norm" and walk away with a clean conscience? I don't condone poor or negative behaviour of others, but perhaps there's a better way than trying to solve all the world's problems by doping everyone up.

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August 09, 2005

Full Figure Models: Are They Really Full Filled?

Are full figure models really plus sized or just average/normal figured? Typically, any female under about 180 lbs. is considered average in this day and age, so shouldn't full figured models represent people over 180 lbs.? It makes more sense to me to have three types of models for our expanding society: supermodels, average models, and full figure models. The other term for full figured models is plus sized models, but all of these models are usually under 180 lbs.

Similarly, I don't quite understand the relevance of the supermodel. How many men actually find a boy-like female attractive? I have spoken to a few man who do not understand this concept either. They always say they prefer women with "a little more meat on their bones". So, if that's the case, why do supermodels even exist? For the rockstars to date? I don't get it.

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Meat cows = lynched black men?

"Once again, black people are being pimped. You used us. You have used us enough," Esdaile said. "Take it down immediately." New Haven Register.com

You said it! PETA is at their old tricks again, comparing this time the slaughter of livestock to lynching and murder of blacks, and the tattooing of a monkey used for experimentation to the tattoos placed on Jewish people in Nazi concentration camps.

PETA should be ashamed. Mind you, PETA did apologize with the likes of "sorry for the pain we caused but we are still right to have done so". Whoops, wrong quote, here is the proper quote from the story "PETA apologized in May for the hurt it caused but stood by the comparisons." New Haven Register.com Weird that PETA apologies in May, but started this tour in June. Obviously, something is fishy here with the story or PETA’s apology.

PETA, here’s some friendly advice. People do not equal animals. I doubt the majority of people truly believe that a human life is the equivalent of an animal. If PETA compares the suffering of people to animals, especially those done by the evils of society, do they honestly not expect a backlash? Of course PETA does expect a hostile response, and this is yet another publicity stunt. Hence I put the quote at the top of this entry. The NAACP is completely correct that PETA is using the historic suffering of black people for their own self promotion. Disgusting!

I’ve often asked myself some questions about those who share PETA’s beliefs. Are insects not an animal too? Do PETA people walk on grass for fear they may crush an insect? Do PETA people let mosquitoes suck their blood without swatting them so they are not injured? Are only certain types of animals considered worthy of protection?

I grew up on a farm, and I’ve seen it all. While personally I don’t believe that animals should suffer needlessly, I do enjoy a good steak. I have no problems dicing up some meat for my hamburger, and I’ll eat a chicken fillet any day. The trouble is PETA takes legitimate concern for the treatment of livestock animals and take those legitimate concerns to extremes that most rational people do not follow. Good farmers would never needlessly subject their animals to any pain.

I eat meat. I will always eat meat. With any luck, I’ll die digesting a good New York peppercorn steak in my stomach.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin

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August 08, 2005

Gay Marriage: Why Not? Why?

With the changing times comes more differences of opinion. If people are becoming more comfortable with homosexuality, then why not allow them to marry like heterosexual couples? Are they just allowed to screw, but not be happily together?

Okay, let's be honest, if heteros have to be miserable for the rest of their lives being with only one partner, then why can't we submit homosexuals to the same torture? For the good of future generations? Please! Heteros are messing up this world fine on their own, but hey, why not invite a few more to this party.

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August 07, 2005

Figure Fixation

As a woman, I don't quite understand the extreme prejudice most women have over their own bodies. Every female friend I have has commented at some point on the shame she feels toward her body. I think by now we should know that this shame comes primarily from women's magazines, the media, and from the hollywood image of the PERFECT female form.

Why they obsess, I'm not sure.

They don't even mention that it's for health reasons; they just jiggle their tummies and say, "look at this". Who cares? More than half of them look the right size for their physical composition, so there really is no reason for it other than being taken by faulty imaging. I don't know why I don't fit into this category; I feel I have relatively confident self-perception.

Of course, working out is required, as it is for everyone, but to obsess over 5 or 10 pounds is a little ridiculous. As long as you can maintain some sort of workout routine and fairly decent eating habits, why should you worry? Heck, we're living longer than ever before, so quit obsessing already and enjoy life.

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August 04, 2005

Whistler Blower: Canada’s Secret Mission to Take Over the US

evil maple syrup_white.jpgWhile you Americans are distracting yourselves overseas, Canada has been secretly preparing for final battle plans to take over the US.

Don’t believe me? I’ll outline some scary facts that have been eroding the security of the US until at long last Canada will be victorious! The movie Canadian Bacon once said, “Like Maple Syrup, Canada’s evil oozes over the United States? – how absolutely true!

Why does Canada need to take over the US? Because Canada is bloody cold up here in the winter! Our seniors have long been invading Florida as snow covers our entire landscape in winter. While Canadian territory is already enormous in size, imperialist Canada has been eyeing American territory with great envy for generations and has been coldly plotting its evil plans.


Facts about Canada Americans should know:

Continue reading "Whistler Blower: Canada’s Secret Mission to Take Over the US" »

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No, No Limits!

I would like to see the streets Audobon-ed. Or, at least, the highways. That is, let me choose the speed I want to drive.

I know many people would disagree with that, especially those who desire to go well under the posted speed. And those slow drivers, whom I refer to as retardius drivers speedminimus, would probably end up crawling like turtles if they didn't even have to drive the posted speed.

Those poor turtles, always getting a bad rap.

The reason I'd like to be able to go my own speed is primarily selfish - I'd like to get where I'm going! With all the drivers out there trying to drive the posted limit, we tend to bunch up at lights and get slow starts on the green light, and have traffic piling up in areas that if we were all going a little faster probably wouldn't happen. We'd have some people getting through lights and others lagging behind, but at least we wouldn't be caught in a deadlock. At least it's a theory, and one I'd like put into practise.

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August 02, 2005

Unbelievably Stupid and Cruel

Some days I just can't believe stories I read. This story of a 4 year old child wandering on a Washington DC highway is such an example. The story is not an innocent situation of a boy running away form home carrying a bag full of toys. Something far more sinister happened on this highway.

Continue reading "Unbelievably Stupid and Cruel" »

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August 01, 2005

They're ALIVE!

I really do not need to comment on these:

Sorry I won't post them.

No, those photos are not shots from a new ultra creepy serial killer horror flick where the children are replaced with look alike dolls with eerie glass eyes. Those are real children!

Hat tip: miceland.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Who does this? [by The Q Speaks]

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Response to "Not that there's anything wrong..."

Hoo boy. Talk about hitting a nerve with me. Ok, yes, I agree with all the love thy neighbour crap and political correctness is for the birds stuff, but I just can't agree with the integration part. Integration - PLEASE! I for one, amongst probably a majority of this world, am too proud of my past and ancestry to destroy it. You can't integrate everyone into 1 union without obliterating everything that makes us different. I am too attached to my Scottish pride, English blood, Romanian heritage, and German traditions to get rid of it all.

We look different; we sound different; we live differently.

There is no way to change these differences to create a complete union of all unless we take part in a complete genocide of all, but 1 race, nation, ethnicity, or religious group. And I don't think genocide is the best way to handle situations of racism, prejudice, and descrimination. Yes, your article has a lot of merit to it; however, I do not agree with the integration bit.

genocide definition

Previous: Not that there is anything wrong with that...

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Not that there is anything wrong with that...

I was in an Indian restaurant, one with amazing food I might add, with my children sitting around the table enjoying a relaxing meal. The restaurant is fairly small and personable, so an invitation or a greeting from another table is not unexpected in such an environment.

A conversation was struck up by another couple who entered the restaurant whom just had to know the ancestry of my children, which I must admit is fairly hard to pin down since they don’t look exactly like any particular stereotypical group. Their immediate guess was they were from Israel or from somewhere in the Mediterranean.

Pleasantly, I told them my children were a mixture of Caucasian bloodline from England and France and possibly Spain, First Nations, and black. Immediately they jumped in and declared "you mean African American; we don’t call people black in Canada." I couldn’t resist the quick retort that my ex is from the US and she calls herself and her family black. For me, saying black was natural since it's what my ex used and I hardly think she was using a demeaning term to describe herself.

Admittingly, I was a bit taken aback. Was I all this time degrading my own children by referring to them as having black ancestry instead of African American? I love my children; I don't believe I'm a racist. What is wrong here?

Continue reading "Not that there is anything wrong with that..." »

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July 31, 2005

Small Town Vacation

After living in a big city where life is always on the go, and basically, the whole town is either on the road to work or home, it is nice to get away to small town life again for a while. There's nothing like a small town, and it's really hard to explain unless you've been there for some time and know yourself. But, I'll try.

Continue reading "Small Town Vacation" »

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July 30, 2005

Charity Giving or Publicity Stunt?

Michelle Malkin has a link to a story about an anonymous person who picks up the tab for a proud father and his marine son.

Certain details of this story brought back memories, specifically the part of the anonymous charity person insisting his name be kept private. Someone a great deal wiser told me, "Charity giving should always be done completely anonymous, and never be used to seek self significance". Unfortunately, I slaughtered up a paraphrase of what was originally said so eloquently.

Believe in the army or not, what this person did in the restaurant for the marine and his father was supremely classy. The person was not giving in order to see personal attention, to promote any ego, or to brag about the giving. This person gave because of a belief in something; something he or she believed was the right thing to do.

Far too often I've see people practically put out press releases or draw attention to themselves when they give out charity donations. How many times has a celebrity or big business person created his/her own fake generosity persona by telling the world how wonderful they are because they gave to this or that cause? That is not class; that is self promotion. If you want to give, keep it private. Enjoy the knowledge in confidence that you did the right thing for what you believe.

Yes, I know big names often lend their names to a charity to help draw attention the charity. Perhaps this is generous, or perhaps it’s just another attempt to seek the lime light. Might these gifts be an attempt to wipe away a feeling of guilt about their lucky fortunes in life? I possibly have a cynical view, and who am I to fairly judge what’s in their hearts?

All I can relay is the importance of following your belief, rather than ensuring a pat on the back is brought in your direction. Kudos mystery person. Kudos to you.

Update: The marine story is hugely popular. The Land of Ozz has an article on the technical issues of having a really good story.

Update 2: Michelle Malkin has found another story, this time about Little Caesars.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
A Good Problem [by The Land of Ozz]

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July 27, 2005

Sparkling Seniors Save the Streets

While driving through town the other day, I happened to catch a glimps of 10 seniors wearing reflective jackets while walking down a street filled with prostitutes shooting up and spacing out on the curb. Shockingly, the sight of high whores was not the image that caught my attention - it was the elders shining in my eyes as I drove by.

My cousin was in the car with me at the time and asked what was going on. Jokingly I said, "oh, it's probably the prostitution police." Intrigued enough, we had to pull over and ask these aged flashers why they were out on the street.

Continue reading "Sparkling Seniors Save the Streets" »

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July 25, 2005

Privatizing Public Roads

What is with public officials wanting to sell public highways, bridges, and roads to private buyers? Can you explain what good could come out of that? A couple of years ago, the Coquihalla highway in British Columbia, Canada was to be sold by the province to a private company. It raised such a stir that protestors stood at the toll booth expressing their outrage, which inevitably led to the province dropping the issue. I guess protestors don't just make good tear gas targets after all; they can have a purpose. Personally, I can't see a private corporation maintaining road conditions. I can, however, very much see them boosting the toll expense to contemptible prices. My opinion, which is probably an extremely realistic one, is that people would be paying unreasonable prices to get from one place to another on a road not fit for any horseless sleigh. How far will privatization go and will it be worth it when it comes right down to it? That's what I'd like to know.

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